Hey sis, want a snack?
By The Green Baron
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Warning! Multiple triggers
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Anna stood still in the early light of dawn as small red snowflakes fell on her shoulder. Morning sunbeams permeated her strawberry blonde hair producing a soft glowing aura of beauty. Though the people around her didn't notice, seeing only a monster awaiting death. The shackles around her wrist were beginning to chafe, though she barely noticed it over the plain burlap dress rubbing against the two dozen burning cuts along her back, she ignored the irritation of both. Jeers from the assembled crowd, some of whom had suffered loss at the princess's hand were only meet with a contemptuous smirk, one that was both noticed and immediately addressed by a guard's fist connecting with her jaw.
Ahh yes, he was related to one of my… 'playmates', Anna thought realizing why the guard had struck her.
"That won't bring him back, it won't even ease your sorrow." The evil princess said with a taunting laugh as she spit out a mouthful of blood.
The guard drew back his fist for another strike but was stayed by the rise of a delicate and pale royal hand.
"No Captain. I know the pain you feel for the loss of your son, I grieve with you, all of Arendelle grieves with you. However, we must be strong. Performing this sad duty with dignity honors all the ones we have lost."
The guard solemnly nodded.
Anna rolled her eyes as she looked over to her sister. The queen was wearing a high collar black dress and cloak that had no rosemaling or fancy trim. The princess's smirk turned to disgust as she saw the queen's bloodshot eyes.
"Elsa, tell me that you were not up all-night crying over that stupid little brat and her father."
"I was crying for all of you Anna, I mourn my baby girl and darling husband, and I will also mourn you, dear sister."
Anna scoffed at the last part. "I'm sure you will."
"Yes Anna, I will. When this is over you will be buried next to our parents. As hard as it is to believe, I still love you."
Anna laughed again, "Is that why you were sobbing while you personally flogged me in the castle courtyard yesterday."
Elsa swallowed hard, it was not easy keeping her emotions in cheek. Nobody blamed her for the light red snowfall that had started the previous night. "You killed a member of the royal family. I was legally required to. For what it's worth I wish I could have spared you that."
"Whatever, let get this going."
Elsa gestured to the hangmen and cleared her throat and spoke loud enough for all assembled to hear her while the noose was placed around her little sister's neck. "Let it be Known, that Princess Anna of Arendelle has been found guilty of the following crimes…"
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Three days earlier
"Come on feisty pants it's getting late and a storm is coming," Kristoff called out over the roar of a strong wind to the redheaded princess who was currently sitting on a mountainside boulder petting a juvenile squirrel that had walked up and sat in her outstretched palm.
"You are so cute." She said while she stroked the little creature's head with her fingertip.
Unbeknownst to her, the wind blew a tree branch into a lose a stone from higher up the mountain sending it down to land on the top of her head with a resounding thunk. The royal was dizzy for a moment and then regained her senses… to an extent. Anna looked back down to the young squirrel as it looked up at her innocently. Anna's eyes lowered as she formed a sinister grin. Anna gave the squirrel another pet with her finger before grabbing it by the head and snapping its neck. Looking at its limp lifeless body she tossed it to the ground thinking, that was fun but just not enough.
Kristoff pulled the tie-down rope on his sled tight securing the load of ice he had managed to harvest that afternoon while Olaf jumped on top. Another gust of wind reminded him of the oncoming storm causing him to turn to call for Anna again but stopped when she appeared from behind a tree.
"Hey baby, are you ready to go."
Kristoff smiled at his wife of five years. Every day he thanked every god he could think of for giving him a partner that he could fall in love with all over again every time he saw her face.
Anna forced herself to return the smile as she eyed the stuorraniibi at his hip while extending her arms outwards. "Hold me, darling."
Some men would have found the request for a hug just out of the blue like that strange, but Anna had always been affectionate. Kristoff raised his arms to embrace her as he saw her warm smile turn into an evil smirk. Quickly she withdrew his dagger from its sheath and drove it into the unsuspecting man's heart.
"AHHH!" Olaf screamed in horror as he jumped down.
As Kristoff went to his knees looking up at his wife in confusion. Anna gave a little wave goodbye as Olaf screamed and Sven stood frozen in wide-eyed shock and terror.
"Oh my god Anna! What have you done?!"
Anna calmly walked over to the sled, retrieving the flintlock pistol Elsa insisted that they carry in case of wolves or dangerous criminals, Anna chuckled at the irony. She also removed a metal canister. "I sent him to Sami hell."
Anna removed the cap from the canister and proceeded to pour kerosene over the little snowman. "if you wind up there tell him I said hi."
Before Olaf could say anything, the murderess stuck a match off of her teeth and flipped it onto Olaf who wailed in agony for about ten seconds before melting into a lifeless puddle. The princess reached down and picked up Olaf's charred carrot taking a bite. "Hey, not bad."
Sven let out a bleat and moved like he was going to run, Anna quickly put a stop to that when she pointed the gun at Sven's head while climbing into the sled grabbing the reins with one hand, still holding the gun on Sven with the other.
"If you want to keep breathing. You'll take me back to Arendelle."
Sven snorted in agreement giving one last look to his oldest friend lying still on the floor before pulling off down the mountain.
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"Here's good," Anna said to Sven.
The reindeer came to a stop in front of a sign that read Arendelle City limits and Anna jumped out.
"I can walk from here," Anna said as she walked past the reindeer casually firing the flintlock into Sven's head scattering blood and grey matter onto the ground, it would be washed away by the raindrops that were starting to pepper the red stained grass.
After walking for a few blocks Anna came across Oaken's trading post and sauna. Hmm, I'll bet Oaken wants to play.
The evil woman walked in wearing a fake smile as rainwater dripped from her braids.
"Yoo-hoo, welcome to Oaken's… oh hello princess. Is a bad storm out dare ja?"
"like cats and dogs out there." Anna walked around the shop looking at various items until she came across a crossbow and quiver of bolts.
"Hey, this looks fun." Anna slid the quiver over her back and lifted the crossbow.
"Ja, everyone likes the pistols and rifles, but what easier to find powder or wood?" Oaken commented as he turned to straighten a shelf full of cans.
Anna took advantage of his diversion to load one of the bolts. "Yes, of course. So, family in the sauna?"
"No dey go to Finland for two veeks."
Anna walked up behind Oaken and fired the crossbow into the back of his knee.
"AHHHH!"
She reloaded and fired another bolt into his other knee. Oaken fell face first to the floor. Anna reloaded again and pointed the weapon at the back of his skull and then stopped.
Nope, too Easy?
Placing her foot on the man's back, Anna fired an arrow into each of his hands and feet securing him to the floor. She then ripped a long strip of cloth from his shirt and tied it around his mouth as a gag.
"Thank you so much for your hospitality Oaken, I think your bed will be a nice place to spend the night waiting out the storm." Anna stretched out and yawned. "Well, I'm going to go hit the sack… wait I need to pee. Hey, where's the toilet?"
The princess then noticed a sign that read 'no public restroom'.
"Well, I guess you're the toilet then." The evil redhead slipped off her underwear and squatted over the whimpering man releasing a stream of yellow urine on top of his head.
"Thanks for having me, have a good night Oaken."
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Anna woke up the next morning feeling refreshed from a good night's sleep that was filled with dreams of death and carnage. The princess found a brush and quickly tamed her unruly mop of hair while walking back into the shop area where she saw Oaken moaning on the floor.
"Good morning Oaken, I'd ask if you slept ok, but you know… reasons." Anna said as she squatted down to take her morning pee on his head.
Looking around she noticed several canisters of kerosene sitting on a shelf and found inspiration in them.
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Anna strolled merrily through the castle gates where she saw a young guard not much older than she was standing at attention. She walked over to him and spoke in a formal tone.
"Identify yourself."
"Erik Hausman, Guardsman third class, your highness."
"Are you related to Captain Hausman?"
"He is my father your highness."
Anna then had a wicked idea.
"Follow me Guardsman"
Hausman and Anna walked into an empty side room.
"Close the door and lock it," Anna ordered.
Once he did so Anna pushed him up against it. "Your kind of cute Hausman, drop your pants."
"Umm… your highness?"
"Are you defying the orders of your princess?"
"No ma'am."
"Then pull down your pants, I want to see your dick."
Unless countermanded by the queen herself, Anna's word was law. So reluctantly the young man lowered his pants and underwear bringing a smile to Anna's innocent looking face. She reached down and took his member into her palm. The guard tried to move away until Anna slapped his leg and then slapped his face.
"I am royal, that means I own you. If I want to feel on your junk, then I will. If I want to shove a lit candle up your ass I will, and you will stand there and take it. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, your Highness," Hausman said as he stood still and turned his head away.
After a minute he was still flaccid leaving Anna genuinely confused. "What's wrong? Don't you like girls?"
"I am engaged to be married, your highness."
Anna then laughed condescendingly. "How quaint. You know what I think I will shove that candle up your butt anyway. Go bend over that table," Anna said with a point.
Hausman stood rigidly still. Anna sighed. "Do it or I'll scream rape at the top of my lungs."
Realizing that he could do nothing but submit to the evil princess, he went forward and turned over the table trembling. Anna pulled a candle from a table holder and walked up behind the young guard.
"Ah, calm down it's not actually lit. Now reach back and spread 'em."
Hausman complied and then started to whimper.
"Oh my god, are you actually crying? Tsk, tsk my sister and I need to be protected by strong men, not crybabies. Is that what you are, a crybaby? Yes. I believe so. Go ahead admit it, tell me that you're a crybaby."
Silence.
Anna slapped him on the thigh. "Say it!"
"I'm a crybaby." The poor wretch muttered out.
"Now say please shove the candle up my crybaby ass your highness."
Silence.
"I'll scream rape."
"Please shove the candle up my crybaby ass your highness," the guardsman said between full on sobs.
"Well since you asked so nicely." Anna gave the candle a good shove and managed to work it all the way in without breaking. "Now thank me."
"Thank you for shoving a candle up my crybaby ass your highness."
"Ahh, that's so sweet of you," Anna said kissing him on the cheek and then unceremoniously snapping his neck.
The princess stood back and admired her handiwork. Nice but somethings missing.
Anna snapped her fingers. "Of course." Anna reached inside her bra and withdrew a box of matches and lit the candle.
Perfect
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Prince Consort Phillip sat in a comfortable armchair reading a book when suddenly his four-year-old daughter plopped into his lap.
"When will mommy be back from court?"
"Mommy is very busy Suzie. Being queen is a lot of work."
Phillip ran his fingers through her platinum blonde hair. Though the child did not inherit her mother's magical powers, she was almost identical to her. Noticing the door open, Phillip looked up to see Anna walk in.
"Well, there's my favorite sister in law. Elsa and I were a little concerned when you and Kristoff didn't make it back last night."
Anna leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Oh, we got caught in the storm"
Suzie leapt from her father's lap into the older princess's arms. "Hi, Aunt Anna did you bring me anything from the mountain?"
The redhead's face turned to yet another sinister grin. "No, but I do have a surprise for you."
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Elsa rubbed her neck as she walked down the hall that led to the residential wing of the castle.
That damn Minister of Finance just keeps talking and talking. Hmm… I hope Anna and Kristoff are back from the North Mountain. I swear Kristoff is the only man on earth that would keep his day job after marrying a princess. If they aren't back by tonight, I'll send a search party. I wonder what Phil and Suzie are up to.
Elsa opened the door to her private sitting room wide and called out, "Mommy's home" like she always did. Unlike all the other times she would do that in the evening, her four-year-old did not leap up into her arms. Little Suzie would never do that again because she along with her father was dead.
Elsa did scream, she screamed in holy terror, but the reaction was delayed. It took a moment for everything in the room to register. She took in the sight of her loving husband lying on the floor with a letter opener jammed into the top of his head. And as horrible as that was the image that she would dream about every night for the rest of her life was daughter's lifeless corpse lying on the floor with her tiny chest cut open and Anna kneeling over it eating the child's heart.
Anna held up the heart with an outstretched hand. "Hey sis, want a snack?"
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The present
"… and finally, the murder of the crown princess," Elsa said as she lifted her hand, the hangman knew to pull the lever controlling the drop door once his queen lowered it.
"Princess Anna do you have any final words?"
"Yeah, she tasted like chicken and you can all go fuck yourselves!"
Even though Elsa remained stoic the crowd went into a frenzied rage as shouts and actual objects were hurled at the princess. One of those objects was a stone that bounced off of Anna's head leaving her dazed for a second and then once again coherent.
Anna looked around in confusion. Why was she standing out here at dawn? Why was she wearing a burlap dress? Why did her back hurt so much? Where was Kristoff? Why was she shackled?
Frantically she looked over to her sister who was wearing mourning clothes. "Elsa, what's going on? Where's Kristoff ?"
"I love you, Anna," the queen said as she lowered her hand signalling the hangman to pull the lever releasing the trap door.
Anna screamed in fear and then abruptly stopped when the rope went tight and broke her neck. Killing her instantly with a loud snap.
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THE END
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