"Holmes, I don't care what insane idea you've concocted; you still look like a deranged foppish idiot."
"It is essential that my disguise be authentic as possible Watson. Otherwise any over-clever constable with a bath sponge could ruin the interrogation. You know they do that regularly now." Holmes meticulously worked at his garish cravat until it was perfectly askew.
"Thanks to your actions some time ago, I hope you realize."
Holmes ignored that statement.
"Is this disguise so essential that you have neither shaved nor bathed in the past week and a half? Mrs. Hudson has stopped even acknowledging your existence, your hair looks like something Toby would use for a bed, and we won't dare begin to discuss the unpleasant smell of that cologne you insist upon wearing too strongly. It has been increasingly difficult to live in your wake Holmes. "
Holmes put on the too-large overcoat and looked up at his friend through a pair of tinted spectacles. The effect was distantly aggravating. "Then it should help to know that within two hours I will have gotten in the police cart, conversed with the robber, and have the jewels' location." He tipped his ugly hat and left.
Watson resolved that upon Holmes' return, he would attack him with a pound of lye soap and a quart of brilliantine.