Hello! First of all, I'd like to thank the "Haters de Agente Canarinho" squad (Gabe "Gabriel", Vitor, Larissa, Isa, Maria, Brubi, Letícia, Carol, Duda, Dani, Natalia, Lucas "Embuste", Lucy and the ghosts). You guys are amazing (and sad) and I love you very much.
A special thank you to Catco Squad, the best squad in the fandom and my favorite people ever.
Also, thank you to Floribella squad for the best crossover ever (vc quer, CW?).
If you're annoyed at the CW and at the writers because of the latest events, don't forget to leave you insatisfaction and complains using the hashtag #SGWritersExposed on Twitter (and tumblr if you want)
Reviews are always welcomed and appreciated
Disclaimer: If I did own Supergirl or its characters, Sanvers and Reigncorp would be endgame
You can also find me on AO3 (user: azarath_mondler) and on Twitter ( sanverstans - for now - or in azarath_mondler)
I hope you enjoy this and please try not crying, because in our hearts Sanvers will always be endgame.
She promised herself she would be better, that she would rise above, but as Alex poured her third glass of Whiskey that night, she decided that she needed it, even if it meant that she was weak. She was waiting for Maggie to come home, an ambiguous feeling inside her. At the same time that she longed to see her fiancé's face after a whole day apart, she dreaded the meeting.
Ever since Alex told Maggie that she wanted kids, their relationship started to fall apart. First they just avoided talking about it, knowing that it was a sensitive subject and hoped that eventually the other one would give in. Two nights ago, after weeks of walking on egg shells, one small fight over a small thing became the biggest argument they ever had. That's when the women realized that there were many repressed feelings that they needed to talk about, most of them involving the kids dilemma, so they decided that they would talk tonight to try to fix everything.
Her mind was already a little fuzzy because of all the drinking, but as soon as the door to the apartment opened revealing Maggie on the other side, Alex sobered up almost instantly. "Hey you" Maggie said, closing the door and taking off her shoes. "Hey" Alex answered, finishing her drink and getting up to get another glass for her fiancé. Maggie sat on the couch, nervously fidgeting with the buttons on her shirt. "So, how was work?" she asked trying to delay the inevitable conversation they would be having that night. "Maggie, I know you're nervous, but the sooner we start talking about this, the sooner we can go back to normal. Is that okay with you?" Alex handed her fiancé her glass and sat beside her on the couch. "I'm sorry." Maggie took a deep breath before she continued. "So, do you want to start?" Alex nodded and took a sip of her Whiskey before she spoke.
"Maggie, I love you. I want you to know that no matter what we say today or what happens next, I love you. Forever." Alex could feel the tears starting to form in her eyes, but she didn't allow them to fall just yet, because she knew that once she started to cry she wouldn't be able to stop. "I do want kids. Not right now, but somewhere in the future, you know?" She finished her drink before she continued. "To be honest, I also had never quite seen myself as a mother. But it was back when I thought that I'd never have this..." she motioned between her and Maggie "I had made peace with the fact that'd never have a family of my own. That the most I'd ever get to be was the cool aunt that rides a motorcycle and gives great presents at birthdays. But when I came out to myself, I realized that I could get everything. A relationship, a marriage, kids. And I want all of it, but I want all of it with you. And if you can't give me everything, then I'm okay with it. Being with you will always be more than enough for me, Maggie. Because I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Alex could no longer hold it inside and finally let the tears fall down while she looked down to the ground.
Maggie reached for Alex's chin, lifting her head up "Alex, we can't do this. No, I don't want kids. I believe my job is too dangerous and I know what it's like to lose your parents, even if mine are still alive, and I don't want to risk doing that to someone. I don't anyone to experience the pain I did, and I definitely do not want to be the cause of it, so no, Alex, I can't give you that. But I don't think it's fair to either of us to just ignore that and move on. I know I'll feel guilty of depriving you of something you want so hard. Something you deserve so much. Remember when I told you that you deserve to have a real, full, happy life? That day I promised myself that I'd to anything in my power to guarantee that, and if it means that I have to let you go, I will do it." Maggie didn't even realize that she was also crying until a single tear fell on her leg, leaving a wet mark.
Alex held the shorter girl's hand "You also told me that I deserve an amazing romance with a woman who is crazy about me. And that woman is you Maggie, you and no one else. I never quite believed that whole crap about soulmates, but you made me think that maybe it's all real. And if it is, then you are my soulmate, Maggie, and I know that we can figure this out together."
Maggie didn't hold back the smile that appeared on her face "I'm going to tell you something, but only because I know that you are in no condition of making fun of me right now." This earned a small laugh from Alex "Do tell." Maggie took a dramatic long breath before she continued, making the taller girl laugh some more "Actually, I've always believed in all that 'soulmate crap' as you put it. What I don't believe is that each person has only this one person that she is supposed to be together with forever, no matter what. I believe that we all have different soulmates, as in people that we could be very happy with, but for a relationship to really work it takes more than mere fate. It takes love and hard work and sometimes just pure luck and timing." She paused to dry some of the tears that kept running down her face and suddenly saw herself unable to continue.
Alex picked up that Maggie was nervous, so she kissed the woman's knuckles "So, what are trying to say, Mags?" The nickname sounded so natural coming out of Alex's mouth and it gave Maggie the strength she needed to continue "What I'm trying to say is that I do believe that we are soulmates. I know we love each other very much and we've fought hard for us, but that's just not enough. Right now we want different things for our future and that can't be ignored. Maybe one year from now I will change my mind and decided that I want kids after all, or maybe in a couple of years you'll see that you don't really want kids that much, but we can't base our relationship in the hope that one of us will change our mind. It's not healthy and it's only bring pain to us. I am so, so sorry, Alex." And then Maggie let everything she was holding inside burst out. She cried so much that she thought that she'd never be able to stop. She felt Alex embrace her and she let her face find the crook of the taller woman's neck.
Alex held her fiancé until the crying turned into soft sobs before she spoke. "Mags, hey. Look at me" She loosed her arms around the woman and Maggie backed up until she could look into Alex's brown eyes. "You don't have to apologize for anything, Maggie. You are right. I just said all that stuff because I wasn't thinking straight, but now I see that the best thing for us to do is to let each other go. Let ourselves live the happy life we both deserve so much. I'm going to miss you, but all I ever want is for you to be happy, because you've suffered enough your whole life and still, against all odds, you're are the most amazing and caring persong I've ever met." Alex used her thumbs to wipe the remaining tears off Maggie's face. "I hope you find another one of your soulmates, Maggie. One that wants the same things that you do and that makes you as happy as you made me. One that makes you feel loved and that gives you the strength you need to keep doing the best you can to make people's life better as you do now and..."
Maggie interrupted her with a soft kiss. She didn't want to hear anymore of it, she preferred to let their kiss do the talking for them. Both the women let all emotions take over during the kiss, trying to show the other just how much they meant to each other. The kiss was a mix of feelings and tastes. It was salty because of the tears, bitter because it felt like a goodbye, but also sweet as they remembered every kiss that preceded this one, back when they thought that they'd be together forever.
As they parted, needing oxygen, they rested their foreheads against each other, trying to savor the last moments of their relationship as much as they could. They remembered all their firsts together and cried for the ones they'd never get to have. They laughed at all the good moments they shared and cried at all the ones they'd never share with each other.
"I love you, Maggie Sawyer." Alex whispered after minutes of comfortable silence, her lips just a few inches away from her (ex) lover's. Maggie smiled to herself, her dimples shyly appearing on her cheeks. "I love you too, Alex Danvers. Forever" she whispered back.
Thanks for reading!