As you probably saw in the summary, I wrote this for Hellmouth22 for the Lost Secret Santa Fic Exchange. It worked out to be more than three times the required length (I'm chronically incapable of keeping things short! ;)), so I've divided it into three parts -- the whole thing is already written (minus some basic editing) so you should be getting parts 2 and 3 in the next few days. It's a little AU, in order to facilitate the fluff, but hey, it's Christmas!

Oh, yeah, the lyrics at the beginning are from 'Daddy's Gone' by Glasvegas... ;)

SECOND CHANCES

Part 1.

How you are my hero
How you're never here though
Remember times when you put me on your shoulders
How I wish it was forever you would hold us
Right now I'm too young to know
How in the future it will affect me when you go
You could have had it all
You, me, and mum y'know
Anything was possible

I wont be the lonely one
Sitting on my own and sad
A fifty year old
Reminiscing what I had

All I wanted was a kick-a-bout in the park
For you to race me home when it was nearly getting dark
How I could've been yours, and you be mine
It could've been me and you until the end of time…

Kate stood in the kitchen, staring at the picture she'd pinned to the fridge a few days earlier.

It was the first year Aaron would be old enough to have some idea of what was happening; she'd taken him to the mall to see Santa, but the experience wasn't as much fun as she'd anticipated, for either of them.

Nothing about this Christmas was…

"What's your name, little boy?" Santa asked, hoisting Aaron onto his lap.

Her son – who was normally talkative around strangers, to the point that it worried her sometimes – shut his mouth then, fixing him with a stubborn expression.

"Aaron. His name is Aaron, isn't it, bud?" she answered for him, ruffling his hair with an encouraging smile, surprised when he recoiled from her.

"Have you been a good boy for Mommy this year, Aaron?" Santa tried again, only to have his question ignored.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into him," she insisted, confused by the sudden change in her son's behaviour. It wasn't like him to throw a tantrum; she'd never seen him act like this before. "I guess he's just not used to all this attention."

"We see it in kids his age all the time," the photographer assured her, shooting her a sympathetic look as she adjusted her equipment.

"What would you like Santa to bring you, Aaron?"

"Can you smile for the camera, honey?"

He slouched down lower, shrinking into himself as he scowled into the lens.

"Santa asked you a question, Sweet pea," she prompted him, nudging his shoulder. She tickled him under his chin to try to coax a laugh out of him. "What d'you want him to bring you for Christmas?"

"Daddy," he announced, his jaw quivering, and she let her hand fall back to her side, gaping at him in shock. "Daddy gone. Want him bring Daddy back."

"Jack isn't your daddy, baby," she reminded him when she realised who he was referring to, fighting back tears of her own when his face crumpled, and he began to cry…

She didn't know how to comfort him so she'd collected their picture and hurried him out of there, to the toy store to distract him; that was the image that confronted her now, every time she went into the kitchen: her depressed little boy looking heartbroken because she couldn't get him the one thing he really wanted for Christmas.

"Kate! Good. I wasn't sure you'd be home," Veronica said as Kate let her into the house. "I think I left my coat here yesterday."

It was still there, hanging over the back of the couch. "This one?" Kate asked, picking it up for her.

"Yeah," she agreed, folding it over her arm. "Thanks."

She followed Kate back into the kitchen, where Aaron was sitting – still subdued – at the table, scrawling across a sheet of construction paper. "So how'd the Santa visit go?"

Without saying a word, Kate retrieved the picture from the sideboard and handed it to her.

"Didn't like it, huh?" she asked, studying it with an affectionate grin. "You know, a lot of kids are afraid their first time."

Kate wished that that was all that it was. "When Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas, he said 'Daddy'," she told her with a meaningful look.

She could see that Veronica was just as surprised as she was. "Jack?" she checked.

Kate sighed. "He misses him," she agreed, struggling to keep her own emotions in check as he selected a black crayon from the pile, filling the page with dark scribbles. She'd been so busy nursing her own broken heart that she hadn't noticed how much he was hurting. "What d'you think I should do?"

Veronica set the picture down on the bench and back against it, watching him with a thoughtful expression. "Honestly? You've got two choices – you can give Aaron time, hope he forgets, or you can just call him…"

She couldn't let him get caught in the crossfire of what had happened between her and Jack; for better or worse, he was still Aaron's uncle, and a big part of his life.

Before she could change her mind and back out, she lifted the receiver and punched in his number, sucking in a deep breath to calm her nerves as she waited for him to pick up.

"Hey, it's me," she told him when he answered with a gruff, "Hello".

It was the first contact they'd had in weeks. "Kate," he said and she could hear how taken aback he was to hear that she was calling after all but kicking him out; his voice was slurred, like he'd just woke up, or…

She shuddered, pushing the thought out of her head. She didn't want to think about that now.

"What's wrong? Is Aaron okay?" he pressed, trying to sound more alert than he was.

Now that she had him on the line, she had no idea what to say to him. "He's fine, but he… He misses you," she admitted, but while she resisted adding, "We both do", the words lingered there, unspoken, in the air between them.

She heard his breath hitch, but he didn't respond, and for a moment, she was afraid that he'd hung up.

"Are you still there?" she checked when the silence reached an unbearable level. Silence was half the problem; she'd never felt such a strong urge to fill it before.

"Yeah," he assured her. "I just… What d'you want me to do, Kate?" He almost seemed angry with her for reminding him of something he'd obviously tried to shut out of his mind.

"I want you to come over for dinner, Christmas Eve," she rushed on, irritated by how quick he'd been to give up: on her, on them, on Aaron.... That was the part that hurt the most, because it wasn't him. He was better than that. "Just for an hour or so."

He sighed. "Kate," he repeated, his tone softening, as though trying to save her from the sting of another rejection. "I don't think—"

But whether he deserved it right now or not, her son loved him. She wasn't going to let him disappoint him again.

Not on Christmas.

"I'm not asking for me, I'm asking for Aaron," she insisted. "Please, Jack – it would mean a lot to him to have you here."

To both of us, she added where he couldn't hear her.

There was another long pause on his end. "Okay," he agreed, sighing again. "Just tell me what to bring and I'll be there."

Even though he couldn't see it, she found herself smiling. Maybe there was hope of getting through to him yet. "Thank you," she told him as she disconnected.

Part 2: Jack arrives to spend some quality time with Aaron... ;)