Just a somewhat stupid-yet-cute oneshot I wrote a while back, set after the main story. Enjoy!
Fall recess on the Chesapeake was generally peaceful (despite the swarms of tourists, which could be avoided with the purchase of a private beachfront, the Host Club was rich enough and wise enough to do), full of sun, sand, surf, and lots of crab. Well, it would have been, if it weren't for the antics of a certain group of boys.
The Host Club (minus its college-going members, who were away in Japan) was engaged in sandy warfare, one group of boys trying to defend a fort from the others. Sand flew freely, but the single female there ignored them.
Haruhi sat on the warm sand, her toes barely being nipped by the chilly waves of the Bay. She admired the natural beauty of the shells at the tideline, carved by the almighty power of the ocean. Taking a small, conical shell in her hands, she examined it. It was small and pink. "Hey, guys! Look what I found!" She waved her hands towards the group playing merrily in the sand behind her.
"What did you find, my queen?" Tamaki called as he bounded to his girlfriend. (Said girlfriend blushed profusely, as she was still unused to being referred to in such a manner.) The twins and Kyoya leisurely made their way towards the couple squatted on the sand.
"I found what looks like a conch shell. Isn't it pretty?"
Comments of "I've seen better in my father's collection" and "It's a little small, don't you think?" were quickly silenced by the wrathful glare of Haruhi.
"I want to collect a bunch so we can send them back home!" Haruhi continued, barely keeping the annoyance from her voice. "What do you think?"
Kyoya smiled. "I think that's a great idea, right, Tamaki?"
The blond boy was silent, lost in thought. "Huh? Ah, yes, of course! I was just thinking, that I've heard that if you put a seashell up to your ear, like so-" he demonstrated the action with several unnecessary flourishes, "-you may hear the song of the sea. And it works! ...Kind of. I've heard it's the only way commoners can afford to experience the ocean! The tragedy!" A single manly tear ran down Tamaki's cheek, which Haruhi wiped away with a soft slap (only serving to bring more tears to his eyes).
"Poor Haruhi! What kind of deprived childhood did you have?" The twins hugged each other, sobbing dramatically. Having known the twins for over a year, Haruhi did not fall for their act.
"Queen of my heart! Why did you not tell me this?" Tamaki enfolded Haruhi in a deep embrace, but she extracted herself. Though they were in the States, she still was unused to public displays of affection.
"Please be quiet," she pleaded. "I'm serious about collecting these."
Kyoya smiled. "Indeed. I hear there's quite a lucrative market for polished seashells. Apparently commoners like to display them in their homes for-"
"Haruhi! I'll buy you all the shells you want so you'll never miss the ocean again!" Tamaki interrupted, the twins nodding their earnest agreement.
Haruhi concentrated on the lapping waves. "Guys-"
"Yes?" Tamaki interrupted once more. "Are you going to thank me, your humble benefactor, from the bottom of your heart? No need, for I am always-"
"No thank you." Haruhi stood up, grabbing a glob of wet sand. "All I wanted was a nice conversation, but I'm afraid I'll have to settle this the old-fashioned way." She threw the goopy mess, intending to hit her beloved in the arm, but instead succeeded in hitting Kyoya squarely in the chest.
"Oh? You won't get away with that, ingrate."
The Host Club degenerated into battle once more, their noise carrying across the water to a yacht carrying annoyed retirees on an afternoon cruise. For that is the way of the Host Club: to live in fun and jest at the expense of irritating others.