A/N: I have no idea if I will ever continue this. The idea for it has been around for almost a decade and this chapter was conceived several years ago.
Assume that students are sent for basic academics at age 6 and at age 8, they decide to follow the civilian or shinobi path and classes are split accordingly. All the Rookie 9 are all about 8 years old here and Sakura has yet to become fan girls. Also, the Uchiha clan has not yet been killed. Please keep in mind that I created/wrote this way back before I knew any of the BS that was done past time skip. I knew the plot through the Chunin Exam arc. Also, the plan is for the story to be crackalicious.
It all began with a misunderstanding and a mischievous boy.
The teacher was giving yet another boring history lecture and eight year old Uzumaki Naruto was dozing in his chair in the back of the classroom.
"Senju Hashirama and Senju Tobirama…blah blah blah…the grade shinobi wars…"the teacher droned on monotonously. Naruto's eyes popped open and his head snapped up.
'Grade shinobi wars? What, did they fight each other in the academy?' he thought. He poured over his history textbook and realized it was actually the Great Shinobi Wars. However, this gave him an idea: an awful, terrible, wonderfully wicked idea of diabolical proportions. He would start a Grade Shinobi War in his class by pranking the annoying Uchiha Sasuke and his stupid fan girls while blaming other fan girls. Naruto cackled and began to scratch out rough ideas on to paper.
On the other side of the room, Sasuke shuddered in fear; he sensed a disturbance in the force. Last time he felt something this ominous, the Uchiha district was mysteriously painted hot pink and neon orange. He cautiously cast his eyes about the classroom. There! The dobe was sitting in the back of the classroom…cackling and scribbling things down. Immediately, Sasuke resolved to speak with Uzumaki and offer his assistance in order to be safe from whatever the blond was planning.
An hour later, the class was dismissed for lunch. Sasuke immediate avoided his fan girls and followed Naruto's trail. He caught up with the still-writing boy halfway across town in the market district.
"Dobe," he called gruffly as he approached the blond.
"Teme," Naruto replied, still focused on his notes. "What do you want?"
"You're planning something," Sasuke said bluntly. Naruto didn't blink an eyelash. "Look, I don't want to be caught up in what you're planning so I thought I'd offer you a hand in return for immunity."
Naruto led the way into a nearby ramen stand, contemplating the unprecedented offer. He could do so much more with Sasuke's help but then he would have to change his plan entirely. After placing their orders with Ayame, Naruto stared at the black haired boy for long moment.
"Okay then, teme," Naruto said, grinning wildly, "You've got a deal.
Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief. "So what are we doing?"
"Well, originally I was going to prank you and half your fan girls and blame it on your other fan girls," mused Naruto, "so I could start a mini shinobi war in our class. So far, my plan includes four dozen stink bombs, 15 different fluorescent dyes, five stray dogs, and that really annoying cat with the ribbon on its ear."
Flinching, Sasuke gave a sub-vocal whimper before asking another question. "So why did you decide to do such a big prank? I'm pretty sure the only thing I did was beat you in sparring last week."
"Well, when the teacher was blabbing about history in class this morning, I thought he said Grade shinobi war, not Great. But just think about it, teme. Wouldn't it be cool? A Grade shinobi war! Think of how much practice we could get by having a mini war in our class," Naruto expounded with a maniacal grin on his face. Sasuke thought about it carefully and smirked.
"Sounds good. So it'll be just the two of us against the whole class?"he asked, wild ideas running through his head.
"I could help too," offered an unexpected voice from behind the two boys. Spinning around, Naruto nd Sasuke were confronted with a girl from their class.
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed boisterously, "When did you get here?"
The pink-hair girl shifted uneasily. "Just a few minutes ago. You looked a little suspicious so I decided to follow you and I heard everything. I can help too! I know lots of the book lessons and no one would suspect me!" She looked at the two boys as they exchanged a few glances and gestures.
"Sure thing, Sakura-chan," Naruto said cheerfully. "Come help us plan!" Sasuke nodded and Sakura grinned as she climbed onto a stool and placed her order.
"This is gonna be awesome!" Naruto crowed as the three began to formulate their plans. All across Konoha, people felt a wave of dread for the coming months and years.