Title:
A Murder of Mochi
Summary:
I'm not sure if you were expecting me to have some amazing first three months of school, meet some amazingly good-looking guy, and then, you know this whole story become some heartrending drama, or something like that, but I'm sorry to say nothing of interest has occurred.
Well, unless you count Ryuunosuke nearly tossing Yuu out the window. That was pretty funny, actually, well, besides Yuu nearly dying for the second time.
Pairings:
Um... Undecided?
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Why Should I
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Being related to two midgets, a giant and consequently being a very large giant myself wasn't exactly how I had planned my childhood.
Actually, having a french toasting huge Pops and an equally french toasting tiny mother hadn't been in my plans either.
Frankly, non of my life had ever been in my plans.
Especially my family. They were no where in the, "Let's Live A Perfectly Normal and Comfortable Existence" syllabus.
Really, while I was a tiny little toddler in Heaven, and God pointed at my parents, telling me they were the ones, I must've been really screwed up-cause who in the h-e-double-hockey-stick agrees to be born to such a fantastically eccentric familial unit?
I'll tell ya who:
NO ONE!
Not that I don't love those freakoid weirdos, but, they're, you know, weird. Period.
To explain to you how unnatural my existence is, you'll just have to listen to the awesomely awesome narrative of my life, narrated by yours truly!
Fun part is, you guys get to skip straight to my oh-so-wonderful (read: HA-HA-HA-NO!) high school days. I'm leaving you guys out on a cliff here! No childhood trauma, no amazing story of how I got kidnapped by youkai when I was a tyke, nope, nada, zilch! You guys get the boring angsty stuff!
Ha-ha! Just kidding guys, I wouldn't do that to you… Or would I?
I would. I'm that evil. Don't tempt me.
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Okay, so, I lied; sue me.
You guys have to relive my teenage years with me!
No, really.
I wasn't joking.
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Did you think I jested you! Nay, my fair listener, you shall have to listen to my constant droning for the duration of this Introduction!
Mwa-ha-ha-ha!
(Hey does anyone know where the sound effect remote went? That was totally less dramatic without the organ playing and the lightening-Wait, Hidekoyo, why are you smiling like that? Hideko-WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY REMOTE!? NOOOO! Hideykoyo, you jerk-face, give me my darn remote back you-you-you-!)
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I was having a wonderful dream. It had rainbows and butterflies and pegasi (no unicorns-no, nope, absolutely not; they're just so stuck up, thinking they're all high and mighty with those fancy horns of theirs… IT IRRITATES ME SO BADLY! Oh, wait, calm down, I can't go flaming unicorns at five in the morning, that's just not healthy) and even these cute little green mochi balls with adorable little eyes, and man, would these buggers sell like candy! I need to make some of these when I wake up, yeah that sounded good… After like, another hour of sleep though, THE MOCHI MASTER NEEDS HER SLEEP GUYS! NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO AWAKEN THE MOCHI-
"KOYOSHIKI, GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF BED OR SO HELP ME-"
Okay, so that whole, "THE MOCHI MASTER NEEDS HER SLEEP"-thing might be sort of invalid right about now.
"Yes, dearest mother of mine!"
I fell out of bed, and after giving my favorite pillow one last look of farewell, scrambled to get my work clothes on.
Okay, okay, don't panic, your mother's just, you know, out for your blood, and might bite your head off if you're not down stairs in the next five seconds. The norm.
No reason to freak out, right?
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Oh, who am I kidding; I DON'T WANNA DIEEEE!
I swear, I always put clothes on the fastest in the morning because of my scary mama.
It takes two seconds for my grey sweat shirt and pants to find themselves on my torso and legs, one second for my short hair to contained by a bandana, two seconds for my shoes to be on my feet and- OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS IT'S BEEN FIVE SECONDS, MAMAN'S GONNA HAVE MY HEAD ON A SILVER PLATTER LIKE JOHN THE BAPTIST!
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"Sweetheart, where's your apron?"
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"GYAH! MAMAN, I BEG OF YOU, SPARE MY LIFE!"
There was a brief moment of silence, and then, just when my fate was about to be decided-
Snort. Snort, snort.
My mother just rolled her eyes at me and she snorted at me! She did, she really, really did! How dare she? I was being (half) serious!
With an accusatory finger, pointed straight at my mother, I declared, "Woman! I demand my opinions be taken seriously!"
She raised an elegant eyebrow at me, and my midget mother was clearly amused at my very awesome declaration, so, she decided to make one of her own:
"Koyoshiki, if you can go upstairs, get your apron like a normal person, and come back down like a normal person, I might ignore the fact that you just called me 'Woman'."
You see, I'm a smart person. I pick my battles.
That said, it was totally, absolutely logical for me to slowly ascend the staircase, grab my white apron that was decked out with various assortments of wonderfully rainbow-colored stickers, and calmly make my way down to my chortling mother.
(Yes, she was chortling; my mother likes to snort after each "Ha-ha", so it usually ends up sounding like, "Ha-ha-snort, Ha-ha-ha-snort-snort".)
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So far, beside almost having my mother guillotine my head, everything was fine and dandy in our little family run mochi shop!
Yes, yes, it was just perfect until my mortal enemy walked right through the door.
Ukai Keishin, the Ultimate Mango, the Blonde Porcupine-whatever you wish to call him. This fiend has always liked to loiter around our shop while he's on lunch break, just as he has since he was in high school and I was merely a snot-nosed brat.
Bad mistake, Mango-kun, I am simply not the same snot-nosed brat from 8 years ago.
My trusty Ladle raise overhead (don't ask where the Ladle came from, it's a secret, jeez), I valiantly attacked with the brave war cry of, "STICKERSSS!"
My enemy was skilled. He had come prepared with his own Broomstick of Destruction! Drats!
We fought until one of us could stand no longer.
More specifically, when my mother offered the Mango a seat in the foyer, he couldn't refused, and I grinned, proud of my undeniable brilliant battle tactics, victoriously watching as my enemy hung his head, and accepted his honorable defeat.
With Ladle on my shoulder, I nodded sagely as I patted the top of his head, "You fought unceasingly, dear Mango-kun, but the wise Master will always defeat the arrogant Student."
Slap!
What is this!? My student retaliated!
"Koyoshiki, don't pet my head, you brat."
With a grin and the thrust of my Ladle, I proclaimed, "But, Mango-kun, you're just so small and cute~"
He twitched. (Who's talking in the background? Is that Maman? Eh, I dunno, right know, I just want to make Mango-kun suffer.)
Ohhh, I know I've got him, he so wants to just hit me upside the head right now, He's just so sensative about his height, you know-
"And you're so large and scary, Amazon-san."
It was my turn to twitch.
"Oi, Mango-kun-"
"Yes, Amazon-san?"
"Aren't you supposed to be the adult here? Didn't my mother ask you to look after the shop while she got us some lunch?"
We stared at each other.
"Did she really say that...?" Keishin ventured.
"Well, I dunno know...?" I questioned.
I glanced at the sign on the door that said, "Sorry, closed for lunch!"
I nodded, "Yeah, I think that's why she left.."
We stared at each other again.
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AWKWARD! AWKWARD, AWKWARD, AWKWARD!
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I never loved my mother so much as when I heard that door chime ring.
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"Mango-kun, get you and your awkwardness out of here!"
"Hai, hai, Amazon-san."
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My mother didn't understand what was going on at all. That's okay, 'cause she would've really decapitated me had she seen the, "Kick Me" sign I put on Mango-kun just before he left.
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Hidekoyo, my weirdo midget gymnast sister from a distant planet, talked about her day at Karaoke, and all the cool stuff she saw at the mall with her friends.
Only when she described a shiny new pair of swim googles at the sporting goods store, did I bother joining into the conversation.
Swimming, oh, how I love the sport, how I love the water, how I hate the girls who go to the rec center pool just to crowd the lanes and gossip.
Anyway!
I munched on a stock broccoli, because I had yet to finish my dinner, and my sister chewed on a sakura daikon (ewwwwwwwwww!) for dessert. (How she likes those monstrosities, I will never know!)
I was having a lovely time until my mother cleared her throat.
Hidekoyo and I froze.
I attempted to dive under the table, and my sister sprinted for the kitchen, but a cough stopped us dead in our tracks.
"Hide, you can leave. I just need to take to Yoshi."
I internally groaned.
Hidekoyo, you tratior, leaving me with mother by myself!
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Maman seemed pleasant enough.
I thought she was actually going to say something good for once, and I held onto that hope-
"Koyoshiki, you must attend school this year. No more excuses. I've hired an employee, and gotten everything ready, so, when first semester starts tomorrow, you'll be going."
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Then she up and left the room!
That wasn't very nice!
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Woahhhh, wait, wait, wait, hold up a moment, had she just really...?
"NOOOOOOOO!"
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Okay, so before I go on a rampage, I do believe this might need some explaining.
You see, Maman is a single mother of four, and with her two eldest sons in collage, she needed her oldest daughter (that would be me) to help her run the shop until she could afford to pay for another helping hand.
This predicament lead to me dropping out of my first year of high school about half-way through the year to assist my mother in the mochi making business. I wasn't too ecstatic at first, believe me, but now I seriously love making mochi!
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I could try to argue and get myself grounded, orrrrr, I could accept fate, and just go to freaking school tomorrow.
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I walked, downtrodden, as I began to say my goodbyes to all the mochi exquiptment.
"Goodbye, dear mochi ice cream freezer-I promise, we will see each other again-!"
My mother yelled at me to go to bed:
"You have a big day tomorrow!"
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Yeah, sure, uhuh, what ever you say, Maman.
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So, what do you people think of my first attempted at a Haikyuu fanfiction?
Good? Bad?
I'd like your input!
Thank You For Reading,
Mellow-chan