A crackfic I made up after eating about 5 delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies and the memory of the "Pink Sugar Heart Attack" Edward Elric video that a very awesome someone who is not me made.
I do not own Fire Emblem or Sailor Moon, but I do own this fanfic and the idea of Bishonen Senshi Sailor Lucius. XD I am also not responsible for any injuries caused by reading this, from either laughing or suicide caused by its utter stupidity.
And I have nothing against Lucius (my Lucius could have killed Lundgren all by himself without any frilly costumes!), this is just me poking fun at how girly he is.
Story begin, ready steady GO!
"Ah…!" Lyn fell to her knees. Lundgren…he was just too strong for her. She gripped her arm tightly; the wound was severe and it bled heavily. Her vision was even beginning to blur a little…The last fleeting image she saw before she lost consciousness was Kent running towards her and calling her name, and she slipped into darkness. "I'm sorry…"
Kent held her in his arms, cursing Lundgren for his power. None could match him. The situation seemed hopeless. His lady's granduncle smirked at him, and readied a deadly-looking spear. Kent, leaving Lyn with Serra (luckily, Lyn was unconscious and didn't have to hear the nervous Serra prattle on even more, if that was even possible), stood his ground and braced himself for the attack. Until…
"STOP!" Lucius quickly slid between Kent and the villainous Lundgren.
"Lucius? What are you doing? He's too—"
Lundgren, who had stopped charging due to the surprise, interrupted Kent with a malicious laugh. "A little monk? Is that the best you can do?" But Lucius had a secret weapon. He hadn't told anyone about it, afraid his secret would be exposed…but the time had come to reveal his true identity. From a pocket in his robe, he drew a…
"A wand?!" Kent and Lundgren stared at him, wide-eyed in disbelief. It wasn't just a wand…it was a pink wand, topped with a decorative heart. Serra paused from her job of healing Lyn, squealed, and began chattering about how adorable Lucius's wand was.
And his foolproof plan had only just begun.
"Elimine Prism Power Make-up!!" he yelled, brandishing the wand, and he began to spin around pointlessly as brightly-colored lights engulfed him. He emerged with pigtails and a sailor suit, covered in ribbons (pink, of course!). "I am Bishonen Senshi Sailor Lucius!" announced Lucius proudly. "Defender of love and destroyer of all evil! And that means you," he added, winking and posing in an attempt to be cute. "In the name of Saint Elimine, I will punish you!"
"What the—" he started, but Lundgren was too slow to react.
"PINKU SUGAR!" screamed Lucius in a heavy Japanese accent, spinning pointlessly once again.
"HEART!" He suddenly stopped, pointing the wand in the direction of a dumbfounded Lundgren,
"ATTACKU!!!" and a blast of pink light emerged from the little wand and hit the villain in the heart, sending Lundgren flying backwards.
"NOOOOOooooo!!" The usurper's body crumbled into dust as the light quickly swallowed him up.
There was a long, long silence as everyone stared at Lucius, who had a hand on his hip and the other triumphantly holding his wand above his head.
End! Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it! By the way, just in case you weren't sure what it meant, Bishonen Senshi Sailor Lucius is a parody of the original title of Sailor Moon, "Bishojo Senshi Sailor Moon". (Lucius's title means Pretty (boy) Soldier Sailor Lucius instead of the original Pretty (girl) Soldier Sailor Moon.)
Please review!