Quantum Mechanics Rainbow: II Indigo Algorithm - Uesugi, Eiri (Yuki)
Disclaimer: All of the Gravitation Characters belong to Murakami, Maki and Quantum Mechanics Rainbow CDs and concept belong to Asakura Daisuke.
Description: Eiri-san(Yuki) thoughts on the graveyard scene. Based off the manga, not the anime.
Chapter 1: Abyssos(Shinkai)
A dull light bathes a slab of stone. I'm dead...I mean, I think I died here and although I know that's not true, it gives me just enough darkness to refuse the light. I am still Seguchi's little Eiri-kun. That part of me will always be here within me...even if he can't see it. He still needs me to need him. I don't know...maybe we're both not ready to let go. Kitazawa-sensei and Touma-san are two side of the same coin. I love them both.
However, Kitazawa-sensei hurt me...he broke me to the point that Seguchi could not repair. Touma-san...he is so caring. I know very well that he'd sooner chop off his own hands, his livelihood, than hurt me in any way. He wouldn't harm a goddamn hair on my little head. It's disgusting, but in the end, I appreciate it. He lets me be the selfish child that I am and doesn't push me to change...it's flawed logic, but it's worked for us...so far.
Kitazawa-sensei taught me how to write and Touma-san believed in me when most had lost hope. I am a product of them both.
"Maybe we could knock a couple back at the 'Ole bar...how does that sound, Eiri-kun?"
How long have we been standing here? A few minuets? An hour? I don't even know and words escape me. A slight sound is emitted from Seguchi. I think it's a sigh, but it could have just been a heavy breath. He looks so far away and he often is. He squats down beside me. I guess it's hard to picture Seguchi, Touma on knees, but he is.
"You mustn't feel this way. It's not your fault....it never was."His voiced is very strained, but I can tell he really believes that. It's funny how diluted he can be. I can feel my throat tighten, but I run my hand through my hair and recompose myself.
"But...it's not your fault either!"I practically shout. I clap my hand over my mouth and look away. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. I sneak a look at Seguchi. He smiles sadly and I know I haven't gotten through. Ugh! He can be so stubborn sometimes. Hell, all the time! My only slight amusement comes from going out of my way to make sure everything doesn't go according to his plan. I wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of knowing he made me smile. So, I do it inwardly.
I stand up and walk slightly back. Staring at the grave of the man that had wronged me makes bile rise up in the back of my throat. I want to cry, but I can't remember how or maybe I've shed enough tears to spout a river. My headache burns like a grease fire. Water does not soothe it. I must be smothered for improvement.
Seguchi thinks I hate New York. No, I love it. When I see New York I don't think of my pain or that the city is the setting of the end of everything good in my life. My eyes flutter as they gaze at the hazy skyline...almost longingly. I can't stare into a mirror for too long because the tend to get lost in my own eyes. I know it's narcissistic...maybe I am, but I really am more concerned with myself than others. I'm like Kitazawa-sensei. We're the same. We're not like Saint Seguchi and why should we be?
"We can see the town you lived in from here."Seguchi is still kneeling in front of the grave. I have no idea why. He hated the man. I don't say anything and he continues to talk.. "Or should I say the town you and he lived in together...?" What is he saying? I lived with him...not Kitazawa-sensei. Is he mad? I still don't say anything, but now I'm concerned. "How is it to be back in New York after six years?"
He's asking this now!? What is he getting at and where does he get off being so...deep? "No big deal...It's no different than Tokyo. It's crowded and smells bad." I don't mean those words, but I say them anyway.
Seguchi rises up, but bows slightly. I can't help thinking he didn't have to do that, but hell, does he even have to be here...with me?
"I remember when you used to love this city." He says...I knew it! He thinks I don't wanna be in New York. "There was a point when you swore you'd never go back to Japan." What he's saying is all very true, but don't I like it.
I scratch my head slightly and say. "Huh...well, things change...I guess."I'd rather not argue with him here. A graveyard is no fitting place for a conversation like that.
Seguchi places his all too familiar hat backon his head. He doesn't act too so serious anymore, but I don't let my guard down just yet. "Oh come on! You don't remember? Maybe it's a good thing you brought me along."He mummers.
Ugh! Why does he have to be like that!? I can feel myself getting defensive, but I don't know how to react any other way. "Shut up! I'm not some stupid little kid anymore!"I say it, but I don't mean it. Does he know? I continue to lash out more words for good measure. "Just because I don't remember where everything is, or even if I liked it, doesn't mean I'm going to get lost!"
It's not important! Why do I let him wind me up like this? Maybe I should make a point of this or something. "I remember some things. Things I can't forget. That's the only reason I'd visit this grave."I ramble. It doesn't mean much, but at least it's something.
Seguchi looks slightly pleased that I would take the time to explain myself, but instead he says something that makes me sad. "Yeah...I'm sure he's happy that you're here too."Honestly, what a loaded remark! How can I express my disagreement?
"I don't know about that. I can't imagine any dead spirit being happy to receive a visit from the guy who killed him."Hmm...it made sense when I said it, but why does he stare at me like road kill. I continue despite being uneasy. "I'm sure...That his grudge against me survived his death." Eh? What
I really meant to say was "I'm sure...You know that I'm punishing myself for this."
"Well...I wouldn't speculate. Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. Only he can ever know for sure."Touma-san is filling in the spaces of dead air. He doesn't have to do that for me. I can feel the years of me falling off. Layers and layers of tough skin are being peeled off. I drop the flowers carelessly to the ground. They never meant anything in the first place.
I try to find the right words, but whatever I say won't be good enough. So, I tell it like it is.
"Touma...san."
"Yes? What is it...Eiri-kun?"
"Kitazawa, Yuki hates me...because I killed him."
I shoudn't have said that. Now, it's too late to go back. I'm too far gone and tears begin to form at the corners of my eyes. The words slip out of my mouth. They weren't worth mentioning, but they were heard anyway.
"Yuki was so good to me. He treated me like a prince. He was so much more important to me than he knew...Than I could ever say...That's why I had to take revenge."I'm really crying now, but Touma-san isn't rushing to my side. I'm grateful for it. There is one last part to my stupid story.
"Yuki betrayed me. But I only betrayed myself..."It was all true and that's why it was so hard to say. "...Since now I'll never see him again."
I don't wanna hear what he has to say, but it doesn't matter I will hear it. I always do. Seguchi sorts through the situation like he would be expected to. "You know, Eiri-kun..."I really wish he wouldn't call me that. It only adds to my shame. "The attraction you guys had for one another was down to you two being opposite forces."Bullshit! That's all bullshit! How could he possibly understand us? "No matter how close you guys got, it was impossible to come together."Oh, how tragic! I continue to mock him inside my head, but as he continues I notice something change. "You were like two powerful magnetic fields bouncing off each other."My headache's back and I know he's no longer saying this stuff to solve a puzzle. He's saying it because he knows I should hear it.
"But that's alright...because you've already met...a force more powerful than destiny."He extends his hand and smiles genuinely. It's frightening, but I can't look away because I don't know if he's taking about Shuuichi or not. He may mean himself, but it doesn't really matter.
Our sick dependency on each other continues as I take his hand. Somehow I can't shake the way he's looking at me. One would almost think we're not completely broken. I still don't understand completely until he kneels down before me. Now, it's all clear. He's Touma-san and I'm Eiri-kun and we're in New York. How could I have missed something so painfully obvious?
"For once in your life, you can finally get away from yourself..."For once I agree with him. The past is eclipsed.
"...Eiri-kun."
End
Author's Note: That was actually longer than I originally planned. That dialogue half way through was from book 6.
About Quantum Mechanic's Rainbow: My plan is to crank out 7 stories all titled Quantum Mechanics Rainbow I - VII. Each story will revolved around a different character. Quantum Mechanics Rainbow II: Indigo Algorithm is about Uesugi, Eiri. The next one is Quantum Mechanics Rainbow III: Blue Resolution is about Seguchi, Mika. There is about 7-10 chapters in each story and they're all titled after songs created by Asakura, Daisuke for his Quantum Mechanics Rainbow CDs.
About Asakura, Daisuke: Asakura-san created music for the Gravitation OVA and was part of songs like Blind Game Again, Smashing Blue, and Shining Collection. He did Shining Collection in Iceman with Ito, Kenichirou and Kuroda-san. He did the rest with Kotani, Kinya and MADS(Mad Soldiers). My idea of using Quantum Mechanics Rainbow as a basis for fanfiction started when I listened to some of the songs and pictured the Gravitation cast. Each song is the title for each short in the story. They are all in order of the original CDs. If you want to hear the Quantum Mechanics Rainbow songs. Go to and look up Asakura, Daisuke. This story's song is called Abyssos.
About Me: I probably won't be well liked because I'm not much for characters like Shindou, Shuuichi or Nakano, Hiroshi. I also don't particularly like Uesugi, Tatsuha. So, none of my Quantum Mechanics Rainbow stories will revolve around them. Characters like Mika, Touma, Ryuuichi, Sakano, Suguru, Eiri(Yuki), Yoshiki, and Reiji are more my style and I can do K-san stories on occasion. Unless I get enough demand for it...I Probably won't mention them much.
Next Chapter: The next chapter is called Angel Algorithm and is about Eiri attending a Bad Luck concert. This will have a lot more Eiri(Yuki)XShuuichi than I'm used to.
Special Thanks:
1. WS: She is my editor for this story. If you have any complaints take it up with her! No, I'm only kidding. Thanks for all your help even though I'm a bitch who always gets in a huff if you make any creative changes. Thanks for putting up with me again.
2. Anyone who reviews or reads: I really appreciate your time! What's the point of writing fanfiction...if not for the fans?
Updates: So, I got this done before the 4th. I doubt I'll have QMR:III up until after the holiday. I'm just glad I got this done. It's been sitting in the back of my mind for like...2 years or something. See you all soon!