It was snowing in Nerima.
The tiny crystalline flakes fell like white feathers onto the ground, adding to the cheery, Christmas Eve atmosphere. The shops, decorated with lights and garland, closed early, their windows spotted with frost. Small children laughed and played in the fresh snowfall until they were called inside by their parents to be tucked into bed. It was the kind of night that was perfect for a hot mug of cocoa in front of a toasty fire, cuddling with a loved one.
And maybe if I HAD a loved one waiting at home for me, I wouldn't be out here. Ukyo sighed as she walked down the snowy streets, her breath a puff of white air. She shivered slightly against the bitter winter breeze, even inside her thick coat. She didn't quite know where she was; the Ucchan's was nowhere in sight. Everything had happened so fast, yet it seemed in slow-motion…Ukyo sighed again. The Christmas season should have made her feel excited, but instead it was depressing. It brought back bad memories from her past, and even more painful, recent ones.
Where did I go wrong? She wondered, pulling her red scarf tighter around her neck. Wasn't I cute enough? Nice enough? Smart enough? What does she have that I don't?
Ukyo shivered, but this time it wasn't the pangs of cold that caused it. Her boots crunched through the fallen snow, which was starting to ice over.
I suppose I'm doomed to spend every Christmas Eve alone.
She saw the couple; two teenagers, arms around each other, smiling, content with each other's presence. It drove the cold knife deeper into Ukyo's wounded heart. A lone tear, chillier than the air around her, slid down her cheek, and she didn't bother to wipe it away.
What a time to be dumped...She had been angry at first, with Ranma, with Akane, with herself, with the world in general. And then came that overwhelming sadness; the dark depression that constantly threatened to consume her. Ukyo had contemplated shutting down her restaurant, moving away, even suicide. But she couldn't bring herself to do any of it. She had simply adapted; it was both her strength and her curse...her ability to adapt.
That doesn't make it hurt any less, she admitted. I guess I never really had a chance; he loved her from the beginning. All they did two months ago was show it…by getting married. Ukyo shook her head to clear her mind of the thoughts that dredged up painful feelings, and for a while, she just walked.
The sun sunk below the horizon and the sky darkened, silhouetting the bare claws of trees, and the single figure trudging through the still-falling snow.
Ukyo looked up at the stars as she walked along, her brown hair brushing against her back, held by a black ribbon. She just hadn't felt like wearing the white one today, since it felt like something within her had died. Yeah, my heart…
Suddenly, her boot skidded into something and threw her off balance, causing her to trip into the snow.
"Aaah! What the---?" Spitting snow from her mouth, she struggled to a sitting position. Her face and exposed hands burned from the cold. Ukyo brushed the snow from the object that tripped her, finding the black piglet known as P-chan.
"What are you doing out here on a night like this, sugar?" She whispered, sadly. "You have a family waiting for you. You should be home with the Tendos."
P-chan remained unresponsive, not even a little 'bwee'. Ukyo blinked and picked him up. He was frozen nearly solid.
"Poor little guy." She swallowed her own misery and unwrapped her scarf, wrapping it around P-chan. The young woman tucked him inside her jacket, feeling her skin grow goose bumps at the intrusion of cold. She continued walking, in the direction of Ucchan's, whose sign she could see through the flurry of snow. The scarf and Ukyo's own body heat revived the little piglet, and he stirred groggily against her.
"Well hi there." She said softly, glancing down at him. "Decided to join the land of the living, sugar?"
"Bwee bwee!"
Ukyo almost laughed at his almost-thankful sounding reply. "Huh. A half-frozen pig sounds happier than me. I've really let myself slip."
P-chan blinked, then sunk down in her arms and sighed. She looked down at him.
"Or maybe I've actually found someone to share my unhappiness with." Ukyo mumbled, brushing a flake of snow from her eyes. "At the very least, you'll make a good drinking partner." She arrived at the front of the Ucchan's and opened the store, stepping inside and shucking off her shoes.
"Gotta change that damn name." She grumbled. At P-chan's slightly confused look, she elaborated, "Ucchan's. I think I'll change the name of the Ucchan's, that way…I won't have anything linking me back to Ranma." She turned on the light and placed the little pig on the counter.
"Now you stay here. I'm going upstairs to change." Ukyo left. P-chan, also known as Ryoga Hibiki, watched concernedly for her return.
No doubt she's as depressed as me tonight. Christmas Eve and no one to share it with, plus Akane and Ranma are…He ruthlessly cut himself off. Ukyo stumbled down the stairs, now clad in a silver and black yukata.
"Hungry, P-chan?" Ukyo asked. He nodded eagerly, and she smiled as she switched on the grill.
"It's funny. Maybe if I'd had you from the beginning, I wouldn't have fallen for Ranma in the first place, 'cause I wouldn't have been so lonely…Even though you're just an animal, it's nice to talk to someone. Anyone." She poured the batter onto the grill; listening to the familiar sizzle comforted her. P-chan squealed encouragingly. Ukyo flipped the okonomiyaki and finished it with her natural super-speed, slipping it onto a plate and putting it before P-chan. He ate it gratefully; the first good meal he'd had in days. She switched off the grill and settled down on a stool, reaching under the counter and producing a bottle of sake and two cups.
"I don't know if pigs drink," she cast a look to P-chan, "and usually I don't either, but tonight…eh, I just don't want to think about anything." Ukyo filled her cup and downed it in one go.
"Ahh." She shuddered as the warmth slid down her throat. Ukyo poured herself another cup and offered the other to P-chan, who stared back at her almost reproachfully. Ukyo felt her face growing hot and she drank again.
"You can't judge me, P-chan. You don't know…don't know what I've been through!" She rested her head on the counter as tears worked their way down her cheeks. "Sometimes it hurts so much…I just want to go to sleep and never wake up and forget everything that's happened."
P-chan gently nuzzled her arm, and her tear-streaked face rose from the countertop. Ukyo reached out and stroked his head, sniffling. Then she slugged back the bottle of sake. P-chan sweatdropped and bweed pleadingly.
Ukyo's really losing it. What do I do?
She put her head in her hands and started to…laugh. The piglet's eyes widened at the surprising emotion. Apparently, it was very strong sake.
"I'm so pathetic!" She choked between gales of laughter. "Getting drunk and telling my problems to a pig on Christmas Eve! And until I get over that jackass I'm gonna stay like this." Ukyo raked her hands through her long hair and fell off the stool to the ground with a thump. Disoriented, she struggled to her feet and grabbed P-chan, who was mildly worried. This was a far cry from the Ukyo he knew; the strong and independent young woman who was tough and wisecracking. And Ranma did this to her. A familiar anger surged up in his chest.
Hiccupping, Ukyo tripped upstairs and swayed into the bathroom. She turned on the bathwater and uncaringly shed her clothes. P-chan politely closed his eyes.
"I've decided, sugar. I'm washin' Ranchan outta my system. I'm gonna be a whole new perrrrrson." She slurred, holding the little pig to her like a lifeline as she stepped into the water.
The WARM water.
P-chan noticed too late. He squealed in panic and tried to escape, but it was futile. His squeals turned into a yell as P-chan turned from a little black pig into Ryoga Hibiki.
"R-RYOGA?!" Ukyo screamed, the shock slicing through her drunken haze in mere moments as she released her hold on him and scooted away.
"I-I can explain…" He made the mistake of looking at her, and ended up unconscious with a stream of blood tricking from his nose. Ukyo whipped out her spatula and hit him anyway, just for good measure.
Breathing heavily, she put her flushed face in her hands and kept her eyes trained on the steaming bathwater as she slipped into her yukata and tossed a towel onto him. I don't believe it! Ryoga Hibiki is P-CHAN!!! Akane's little pet piglet…A realization came to her then.
P-chan…I mean Ryoga…he's been sleeping with Akane! Fury and disgust welled up at her and she glared fiercely at the unconscious young man. As though he felt her eyes on him, Ryoga stirred and awoke with a groan. He looked around groggily, then saw her.
"Ukyo! I-I can explain!" He stuttered.
"There's no need to, I figured out everything," she spat, "how could you do that, Ryoga? I thought you were honorable, but you turned out to be worse than Happosai! To sleep with Akane as her pet…that's sick!"
"It wasn't like that!" Ryoga shouted. "I never, EVER took advantage of the trust she placed in me, and it was an accident the first time!"
"What about the other times?" Ukyo shot back. "And why didn't you ever TELL her, for God's sakes?"
"I couldn't, okay? She would hate me for it, and I couldn't bear for that to happen! I was just using any excuse I could to get close to her, and I bet you would do the same to be near Ranma!"
As soon as those words left his lips, Ryoga knew he had gone too far. Ukyo's bangs hid her eyes, but a telltale tremble shook her frame and she withdrew silently. Ryoga tried to make amends.
"…Ukyo, I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"
"Don't. Don't say you didn't mean it…because you're right. You're right! If there had been a way for me to be cursed as a piglet or a puppy or whatever, and Ranc—Ranma found me and made me his pet, I would have loved it! Whatever it took to be near him… even if it was as a pet."
Then something strange happened. Ryoga had been bracing for a storm of angry, unhappy tears. He had shed them often enough in the past months to know. Instead…she laughed. Laughed until her sides ached and her voice grew hoarse.
"It's pathetic!" Ukyo gasped between giggles. "I can't believe I would have been willing to do that! God, who was I? Were we all that desperate for love, Ryoga?"
"I guess we were," responded Ryoga quietly, feeling the familiar depression sink over him once more. "You should have left me out there to freeze…it would have been quick and merciful compared to the loneliness here—"
SLAP.
"Don't say that." Ukyo said, all trace of merriment gone, her hand trembling from the hit she gave him. "You're not the only one who had their heart broken, remember? But what you just said—about me doing that to be able to be with him—it just woke me up from this nightmare." She paused.
"I've been thinkin' a lot lately, and that helped me reach something I can kinda see now…I was obsessed. All of us were: me, you, Shampoo, Kodachi, Kuno…we were all so consumed with the need for love that…the competition got to us and we forgot about the love part and everything became a giant contest. And the prizes were Ranma and Akane. We forgot that they were people, not objects…we couldn't just force them to do what we wanted. But we didn't see that; no, we saw only what we wanted…so we didn't see the love growing between the two everyone wanted or hated…"
"Stop it." Ryoga's wavering voice betrayed his fragile emotions.
"Don't you see? It HAS to be said!" Ukyo said, trembling with the enormity of what she now knew. "They loved each other from the start and there was nothing any of us could do about it! Maybe it was fate or preordained or something, but there was nothing we could do! Were we really so blind not to see it? We lost, both of us, but how did we lose something we never had to begin with…?"
Ryoga looked at her with a mixture of confusion, pain, anger, and disbelief. Was this the same Ukyo who had always come up with crazy scheme after crazy scheme to break up Ranma and Akane? Was this the same Ukyo who had loved her Ranchan enough to chase him for ten years? Was this the same Ukyo who had thrown the bomb at the first wedding, and had been a listless, emotionless shell during the second?
"It's taken me a long time…but I think I'm finally over him. It feels strange, but good." She sighed and looked up at him. "Sorry about all that…I needed to let it out. That's what's been building inside of me for two months."
"No, thank you." Ryoga said, amazed. In explaining her own situation feelings, Ukyo had almost perfectly shown him his.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking too, while I was lost. About me, and Akane, and Ranma. If he can make Akane happy, and he's what she wants, then there's no reason for me to pursue her. However much that hurts. Perhaps I don't deserve her." There was a gentle pressure on his bare arm, and he saw Ukyo had put her hand there as a gesture of comfort.
"You're doing the right thing, but you're wrong in one point. What you deserve is happiness. They're happy; what more can we ask for?" She smiled, still with a dab of the old pain in her eyes. But it was definitely far less than before. "We can make it. We've done it before, both of us, before Ranma and Akane."
Ryoga nodded, unable to fight against her gentle logic. Ukyo stood up, drawing her yukata tighter around her body.
"It's getting late. You're welcome to stay the night, if you'd like. Um, but before anything, maybe you should put more on than just that towel. I'll get you some clothes." Smirking, Ukyo left the bathroom.
"Wahhhhh!" Ryoga reddened in embarrassment as he realized she was right and all he was wearing was a towel around the waist.
Secretly, both felt relieved to finally be free of the obsessions that had preciously ruled their lives. It was a nice feeling.
Ukyo's hand appeared at the door, holding a pair of his shirt and pants.
"Where did you get those?" Ryoga asked, blinking. She shrugged even though he couldn't see here.
"You left them here once. I guess I just kept them in case you needed them one day. Look, I was right." The young woman tossed them to him and left again.
She seems to be right a lot of the time, Ryoga thought, about a lot of things. I hope she's right about the whole messed-up relationship too.
When Ryoga finally managed to get downstairs after taking countless wrong turns, Ukyo was already preparing okonomiyaki, as their others had grown cold. She turned and patted a stool.
"C'mon, sugar, dinner's almost ready." Obediently, Ryoga slid onto the stool and watched her deftly cook her specialty. Her hands were swift and sure as they brushed the sauce onto the heart-shaped pizzas.
"Here you go." She slipped them onto plates and slid one over the counter to him, switching off the grill. Ryoga looked down at it and saw she had drawn a silly face on it and a little message:
Merry Christmas Ryoga-chan. He caught her eye and she smiled; a simple, happy smile with no hidden malice or trickery, and he found himself returning it.
"That's better. You look cute when you smile, y'know." Ukyo said, blushing a little but waiting for his reaction. Ryoga started, his face bright red, and he twiddled his thumbs in nervousness.
Ukyo gave him an amiable punch on the shoulder and gestured to the okonomiyaki. "Eat up before it gets cold." Reaching underneath the counter, she pulled out a bottle of soda and two cups.
"Sorry, this's all I've got. I kinda drank all the sake before," the young woman explained, embarrassed.
"Ukyo, this is much more than I deserve," he told her. "Having a friend like you is more than I deserve." She paused, then shook her head and smiled.
"Same back atcha, sugar," Ukyo said, sounding a lot more like her old self. "How about a toast?"
"To what?" Asked Ryoga.
"Hmmm…to good friends and new beginnings?" She thought aloud.
"Sounds about right," the young man agreed. They lifted their glasses and clinked them together. A tiny rogue thought popped into Ukyo's mind as they drank.
And to one Christmas Eve that I'm not alone.
Glinting off the freshly-fallen snow, the first warm rays of sunlight filtered through the window and onto Ukyo's face. She stirred, then slowly blinked, her blue eyes catching the light. She yawned and sat up, still wrapped in her blankets, and walked to the door.
WHUMP. And tripped. Kicking off the tangle of sheets, she strained to see what had caused her to stumble. Ukyo's heart leapt before she remembered she had allowed Ryoga to sleep up here. She had even suggested it, and when he simply stuttered and didn't disagree, she dragged up a spare futon and put it on the other side of the room. She stood up and smiled affectionately at the slumbering boy. His mouth was open, exposing his fangs, and he was snoring softly.
The big oaf. She thought with no vehemence whatsoever. Guess I should let him sleep in. Ukyo went downstairs and walked over to the front window. Frost decorated the edges of the pane in tiny swirls of white. It was early; there was no movement outside at all. Ukyo's breath caught in her throat. It looked so fresh and clean and beautiful, like the world had suddenly begun anew.
A new beginning.
Her heart warmed to the idea of being able to move on and start over. Ukyo stepped back and sat down at a table, resting her face in her hands.
I didn't do much Christmas decorating, did I? I suppose before I found Ryoga, I didn't really feel like celebrating. I wish I had at least gotten a tree. Oh well. She stretched with a sigh.
It was at that moment that Ryoga finally found his way down the stairs. Ukyo's form was framed against the icy window, sunlight streaming around her and giving an altogether angelic appearance.
She must have heard him, because she turned and smiled. "Morning, Ryoga. Did I wake you up?"
"Nope. I'm a light sleeper." He replied. "And I'd like to find my pack. I think I lost it by where you found P-chan—err, me."
"Okay. Just lemme get dressed, and we can go and find it." She stood and began to walk past him. Ryoga caught her arm.
"I can get it myself…" He trailed off and let go of her nervously. Ukyo looked at him flatly.
"Please. You'll probably end up in Russia. Just sit tight and I'll be a minute." The young woman went up the stairs. Ryoga sat down and twiddled his fingers, interlocking them slowly as he brought up what had been keeping him from sleep last night. He just couldn't understand why Ukyo was being so…so nice to him. They had been allies at best, enemies at worst, yet here she was, feeding him, letting him stay in her home, and talking with him as though they were friends.
Friends. He had never really had any before, but it was such an enticing prospect. At that moment, Ukyo bounded back down the stairs, dressed in a long red sweater and black leggings, hair thrown back by her familiar white ribbon.
"C'mon, Ryoga-chan!" She said, tugging his sleeve and dragging him out the door, quickly locking up shop. Their feet crunched the snow as they walked, Ukyo slightly ahead, Ryoga keeping his eyes on her so he would get lost. They were alone except for the occasional car or hurried passerby. The silence wasn't oppressive; rather, it was soothing. Their breath made small white puffs that rose into the cloudless blue sky.
"So…how are you doing?" Ukyo asked carefully, her hands in her pockets.
"Okay, I guess." Ryoga answered with a sigh. "You can't get over something like this overnight."
"True. But we've had two months." She bit her lip. "It doesn't hurt anymore. Maybe I just don't have the energy to care…I could never hate anyone for another ten years."
Ryoga contemplated that. "I haven't been feeling as angry as I used to. By now I would have yelled, 'Ranma Saotome, this is all your fault!' and gone to fight him, but now…" He shook his head.
"That's called maturity, sugar," chucked Ukyo. "Now, I think I found you just around this corner." Sure enough, leaning against the side of a building was a bulky, snow-covered lump. The red of Ryoga's umbrella could hardly be seen through.
"Ah, there it is." Ryoga grinned, shaking off the white blanket and hefting his pack.
Nerima was just starting to come alive with activity as they headed back to the Ucchan's. A pair of children, laughing and stumbling, ran across the pair's path, chased by their young mother. Ryoga noted Ukyo looking at them longingly.
"I've always wanted kids of my own," she murmured. Maybe, one day… Ryoga remained silent. Who was he to judge other peoples' dreams? For now, he decided to think about the dilemma at hand.
What can I give Ukyo? He had to give her something, after all of her kindness, and it was Christmas besides. But what? There was no time to buy her a gift now without her seeing, and even if he could get away for a moment, all the stores were closed anyway. So he'd have to depend on whatever was in his backpack.
Ukyo watched Ryoga studiously. He was obviously thinking hard, with beetled eyebrows and biting his lip. She started to ask him what was on his mind, but stopped short, not knowing why. Maybe he just didn't want to talk.
The duo reached Ucchan's and went inside, where Ryoga sat down and began to rummage through his pack.
Looking for a present for Akane, probably. She was surprised at the bitter tone her inner voice took when saying that. Surely…surely I'm not jealous!! Why would I care if Ryoga still loves Akane? I don't. Dismissing that entire train of thought, Ukyo realized that she should have bought Ryoga a present.
Ryoga, meanwhile, hadn't found anything satisfactory. Nothing was Ukyo's style in there; they were mostly souvenirs or forgotten presents for Akane. Then, as he was nearing the bottom of his backpack, he came up with a long black case. Peeking inside, he blinked, grinned a little, and snapped it shut, dumping everything else into the bag. He could remember quite where he had bought this, but no doubt it was far away.
"Ukyo?" Ryoga said hesitantly. The young woman turned around. "Yes?"
"Err…" Why am I so nervous, dammit? "Well, um, here. This is…for you. It's kind of a thank you and…I hope you like it."
Ukyo took it from his hands and gently opened it. Inside, on a bed of black silk, was a length of glimmering silver chain. Clasped to the front was a delicately formed glass lily, about 2 or 3 inches long altogether. Purple dye had been bled into the glass petals, giving it a swirled, unique look. The craftsmanship was flawless.
Ukyo bit her lip as tears threatened to overflow. "Ryoga, it's beautiful! Thank you. I mean that, I really do." She gave him a fierce hug. Ryoga's nose heated up at she pressed herself to him. She drew away suddenly, knowing exactly what to give back to him.
"I'll be right back!" She sprang up the stairs and to her room. Ryoga remained frozen, but his heart returned to its normal beat. The sounds of rummaging could be heard, and soon she came down again.
"This is for you," she said a bit bashfully, "it's not anything like what you gave me, but it's had a lot of memories." Ryoga took it and blinked.
"A book?" He looked to Ukyo, who fiddled with a small spatula nervously.
"There's pictures of everyone in there—Ranma, Akane, Shampoo, Mousse, you—"
"Me?" Ryoga asked, surprised.
"Well, I wanted to remember everyone…" She coughed in explanation. Ryoga flipped open the album. The first picture was one he remembered well. It was himself and Ukyo in front of the Cave of Lost Love, arms entwined and fists clenched in victory. Of course, it had inevitably ended in Ranma and Akane fighting and getting out safely, leaving him and Ukyo to battle off the ghosts.
Picking up the pieces…The thought left him a little shaken with its truth. He flipped though it. There were group pictures, like the one taken on Togenkyo Island, and other miscellaneous ones, like Shampoo beating up Mousse and Soun crying.
"Thank you," Ryoga said, amazed. She gave him another lingering hug.
"Feeling any better?" Ukyo asked as she carefully put on the necklace. Ryoga gave a curt nod.
"How about a smile?" She piqued, giving one of her own, and how could Ryoga refuse that? He couldn't.
Looks like I'll get through this. They thought at the same time.
"Merry Christmas, Ryoga-chan." Ukyo said, looking up at him with eyes as clear and sparkling as the glass lily. The sunlight fell onto them in dappling patterns, making Ryoga's chest feel very tight.
"M-merry Christmas, Ukyo…"
"If you want," she said, "you can call me Ucchan."
"O-okay than…merry Christmas, Ucchan."
The End