A/N: I was thinking about writing this for a bit so enjoy!
SKY WATERS: UNIT USER GUIDE AND MANUAL(The Hobbit model)
CONGRATULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a SKY WATERS unit! The following information is just the basic need to know stuff, so she doesn't maim or kill you!
Technical Specifications:
Name: Skylar Waters, Sky, Ms. Waters(do not call her this unless you want her to attack you)
Age: 17
Height: 5'11"
Weight: About 125 lbs
Size: Flat as a board and proud of it.
Accessories: This unit comes with the following items listed below.
One (1) Black leather trench coat
Three (3) Black tank tops
Two (2) Green long sleeve shirts
One (1) Fake elvish sword(she can and will injure you with it if you wake her up too early or incorrectly)
Programming: This unit's insane and random personality gives her a wide range of possibilities. We have listed the few she has shown interest in.
Writer: This unit's over-active imagination and insane adventures give her all the inspiration she needs to write an entertaining story.
Bodyguard: This unit's vicious tendencies gives her all the material she needs to scare away those obsessive possessive ex-boyfriends and/or girlfriends.
Stalker: This unit's love of freaking people out makes her perfect for stalking that cute new neighbor.
Removal from packaging: This unit's volatile behavior when woken improperly makes this task very difficult. Please take one of the following actions if you value your continued existence!
1. Knock four times then take cover. She will burst out of the box, look around, and calm down if you look terrified.
2. Have a TONY STARK unit come over and leave him with the box for a few minutes. Come back and your unit will be out of the box, probably plotting someone's doom with Tony.
3. Have a LOKI LAUFEYSON unit come over and have him say something. Your unit will burst out of the box and tackle him to the ground.
4. Place a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies next to the box then take cover. She will explode out of the box and devour the cookies as fast as humanly possible.
Reprogramming: After you have removed your unit from her packaging, you are free to reprogram her in any of the following modes. (Btw, its best to reprogram her with a sonic screwdriver)
Random(default)
Insane(default)
Clueless(default)
Happy
Big Sister
Romantic
Angry(unadvised)
Destructive(locked)
This unit's default modes make her hard to predict and fun to be around. Her Clueless mode can be deactivated, but it's still a mystery as to how to deactivate it.
Happy mode is activated by giving her chocolate and can be deactivated by taking the chocolate away. In this mode she is on an endless sugar-high.
Big Sister mode is similar to the Big Brother mode in other units but much more violent. This mode is activated when the unit sees you crying or upset/depressed. The unit will find the cause of this and make them disappear without any trace except for the blood trail.
Angry mode is activated by waking her up too early in the morning. She will attack you any chance she gets until she feels like you've had enough or if you've given her candy.
Destructive mode is activated by... We don't actually know... and will result in destroyed furniture, ripped wallpaper, shredded curtains, broken mirrors, and tomato spatters all over the place. Deactivate this by leaving her with a sane SKY WATERS unit for a couple days.
Rest: If this unit is asleep, leave her be. She will murder you if you wake her up wrong(in other words, before noon on a Saturday)
Eating: This unit will feed herself because she doesn't trust anyone else to cook.
Cleaning: Will clean herself and kill anyone who dares to interfere.
Constantly asked questions:
Q. Does this unit ever stop eating chocolate?
A. Yes. When there is none left.
Q. Why is she constantly dissing my clothes?
A. Because your sense of fashion probably stinks, and she thinks telling you will make it better.
Troubleshooting:
Problem: My unit curled up in a corner and started crying uncontrollably when I mentioned the Hobbit. Is this normal?
Solution: Congratulations! You unlocked her hidden Depressed mode! She might kill you later so give chocolate and apologize immediately.
Problem: My unit is stuck in Destructive mode and switches any other SKY units that try to fix her to Destructive mode as well. WHAT DO I DO?!
Solution: Run for your life. Find the nearest Natasha Romanoff unit and let her handle it.
We hope you and your unit get along well and live happy lives! Please look forward to other units from the Skyward Units Company!