Let me start by saying that this short story is a parody of the boggart scene in "Prisoner of Azkaban". Try not to take it seriously;)
"The D.A.D.A. Class they'll never forget!"
It was Ron's turn to fight the boggart. Harry watched as he approached the drag queen Snape and was expecting it to turn into a spider. But instead, it turned into something totally unexpected. Something so weird that the entire class was shocked. Prof Lupin's moustache was floating in front of him.
CRASH!
The windows burst into small shards of glass. A tall, scruffy-looking man with half his nose missing stood in front of them with his wand pointed at Lupin.
"Stand back, children!" he shouted. "I'm taking this man away!"
"But why?" asked Hermione.
"He's a paederast." said the man calmly. "A sex offender. With a record"
The class was silent.
"It's t-t-true" said Ron. "H-h-he was coming on to me yesterday. His m-m-moustache... His... m-m-moustache..."
Ron cried out in pain and ran out of the classroom. All eyes turned to Lupin, who smiled reluctantly.
"That's... that's just who I am..." he said.
"SILENCE!" shouted the tall man. "You're coming to the Ministry with me!".
He cast a paralizing spell at Lupin, who fell onto the floor in exactly the way a baloon wouldn't. The tall man picked him up and started dragging him to the door. Suddenly he turned around and said:
"Oh, and he's also a werewolf. For your information".
The class gasped.
BOOM!
Somebody had blown a huge hole into the wall. It was...Sirius Black! All the students, except Harry and Hermione, ran out of the classroom.
"You're not taking him anywhere!" said Sirius.
The man, still holding Lupin, looked at him and said:"I have no idea what you're doing here and why you couldn't use the door, but this man is a child molester and a werewolf and I'm taking him away!"
Sirius cracked his neck, spat on the floor and said:"Yes, but he is my child molester and werewolf!" He started running towards the man, screaming like a lunatic, with his hands in the air.
The tall man took a step back from the seeming lunatic. His grip on Lupin also lessened as he fell to the floor.
During all of this commotion, everyone had forgotten about the children and the boggart left standing in the room.
Upon hearing Lupin was a child molester, Harry forgot about all of the good times they had had together: the sharing of the butterbeer, the long walks in the woods, the intimate chats, and realized what this meant.
Harry realized that if this had continued for a few more weeks Lupin would have...no! Harry couldn't stand thinking about it. He began crying like Ron and Hermione tried to make him feel better. Meanwhile the boggart was getting confused. There were 5 people in the room and it couldn't turn into all of their fears at the same time. It began shaking around and grew bigger, and bigger, and bigger...
BOOM!
The boggart had exploded! There was nothing left of the classroom. The only thing that wasn't broken was the record player, still playing some annoying tune. The man from the Ministry stood up and saw Sirius running out of the door, holding Remus, which was a little difficult, because David Thewlis is a lot taller than Gary Oldman. The man got up and ran after them, not noticing Harry and Hermione lying on the floor.
Blood was running from Harry's mouth, and Hermione's arm was lying beneath her in an odd position. After the long trail of the tall man's cloak drifted from the doorway with an explosive swish, Harry's nose twitched, and his broken glasses fell from his face. He looked over and saw the blurry outline of Hermione's twisted and broken body.
"No,no. NOooooo!", Harry screamed, tears sparkling in his bright green eyes.
"No, She was my friend. My friend. I will find the person who did this." Harry says, determination darkening his unfocused eyes and sharpening his handsome features. "I will find them, and when I do, I will kill them. She was my friend."
Harry strides perpousfully toward the door. Then stops as if though he has forgotten something. A bar of light passes across his eyes as he glances over his shoulder into the classroom. "That goes for you, too, Lupin."
Harry then swishes out the door without a backward glance.
"Accio Pedophile!" cried the man pointing his wand at the door.
Remus zooms back into the room and smashes into the man toppling him over. They both laid sprawled over the floor knocked unconscious.
"Why on earth did he do that?" cried Hermione in a whiney annoying voice.
"Shut up Hermione, you're a terrible actress." Ron snapped at her.
Hermione ran screaming from the room bawling her stupid eyes out. Harry was still crying in a corner with his hair now over one eye. Remus and the man from the ministry were still laying unconscious on the floor. Sirius then ran back into the room.
"What the hell just happened?" he said. "One minute I'm carrying the pedophile down the marble stair case and the next minute he zooms away from me."
Ron just looks at Sirius Black and starts to scream like a 6 year old girl.
"AVADA KEDAVRA" cries Sirius with his wand pointing at Ron. "I hate it when people scream at me!"
There's a flash of green light from Sirius' wand and Ron crumples to the ground with his tounge out of his mouth and his eyes bulged out in surprise. Right then Snape bursts through the door. He takes a look around the room at the pedophile, the ministry man, and Ron on the floor, over at emo Harry crying his eyes out in the corner and finally his eyes meet with Sirius'. He pauses for a second looking puzzled then he says: Sirius, darling...I've missed you so much."
Snape and Sirius ran into each others arms, both sobbing hysterically. Remus and the man stared at them in total confusion. Harry continued to sob like a baby that had dropped it's ice cream.
"Sirius! You mean...that guy you left me for all those years ago...it was
Snape?"
Slowly, Sirius turned towards Remus. He nodded nerviously and wasn't at all suprised to see Remus's eyes fill with tears.
"You BASTARD!" He screamed, pulling his wand from his robes. He raised it above his head, his face scarlet with anger and heartbreak.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Remus hollered. Snape crumpled to the ground in a heap.