This is a playlist I had running while writing this fic. Most of it captures a lot of the feelings Max and Chloe have for each other, along with a handful of other tracks that relate to some of the events and themes in the story. Enjoy!
The entire Koethe catalog
The Receiving End of Sirens "Epilogue"
Alkaline Trio "I'm Dying Tomorrow"
Lauv "Breathe"
Circa Survive "Schema"
Brand New "Tautou"
Blackbear "Idfc"
My Chemical Romance "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)"
SMNM "Baby Girl"
Modest Mouse "Float On"
Steve James "Warrior (feat. LIGHTS)"
Florence + The Machine "Cosmic Love"
"No, Max. You're the only one who can."
Max looks at Chloe longingly, but with sadness in her eyes. I don't believe that. Why am I the one who has to make this decision?
"Chloe… I'm so, so sorry. I don't want to do this." You're my everything, my entire life. I don't want to give you up. I've bled and cried for you, I've watched you die so many, many times.
They embrace with a fleeting hug. I don't want to do this. I don't want to choose.
"I know, Max. But we have to. We have to save everybody, okay? Being together this week, it was the best farewell gift I could have hoped for. You're my hero, Max." This can't be farewell, it just can't.
Max closes the distance between them, cupping Chloe's face in her hands and their lips connect in a tender, prolonged kiss. Max slowly pulls away from the caress and takes a step back.
"I'll always love you. Now get out of here, please! Do it before I freak." Chloe begins to back away from Max, anguish written all over her eyes. She hands Max the photograph that she has been clinging to as if her life depends on it, because it does.
"And Max Caulfield? Don't you forget about me."
"Never." Max gazes defiantly, acknowledging the ramifications for Chloe when time is rewound.
She lifts the butterfly photograph and stares at it, dripping with rain from the tempest roaring around them.
Max has had enough.
I choose to sacrifice Chloe and what? Everyone at Blackwell is saved, all the residents of Arcadia Bay live. I spend the rest of my life with a gaping hole in my chest because the person I spent an entire week warping time for is gone. Forever.
The sea spray mists around Max.
I choose Chloe over the Bay and everyone in Arcadia dies from a tornado that shouldn't even logically exist? I have to live with the guilt for the rest of my life that anyone who dies during this disaster is dead because of me and my stupid time-traveling powers.
In the distance, the tornado is cutting into the coast and sending building materials in every direction.
I saved Kate from jumping. I saved Victoria from Jefferson. Nathan was killed because we didn't find him fast enough. Alyssa was saved how many times? I prevented Chloe from being shot three times and run over by a train. What does it all mean? All of the pain, the suffering… for nothing if I don't photo jump to where I shot the butterfly?
The wind is heaving Max forward and shoving her away, a reflection of the madness tearing apart her insides right now.
If I do jump… the love of my life, my reason for living… ceases to exist. And I have to watch it and live with that for the rest of my life. That I accepted my fate and passed on the one real chance I have to make things right with Chloe. To make up for my absence and be a real friend and more to her. Those five years I was gone without a single phone call or letter must have been terrible for her. I was such a shitty person and there's no excuse for what I did. All I can do is make things better from here on out.
No. No. NO. I refuse to accept these as my only choices. Save Chloe or save Arcadia Bay? Fuck. That.
Max whirls around and strides over to Chloe, who looks mortified at what's to come, she doesn't understand what's about to happen. Max's focus becomes razor sharp as she grips Chloe's hand with a strength she didn't know she possessed. With her other hand, she holds up the selfie Warren took of the two of them during the End of the World party. Max reminds herself to ensure that she gets her own copy of the selfie when the two of them pose. She channels all of her willpower into gripping the polaroid with her mind.
There has to be a better point where I can change things and not have it end up as a choice between Chloe and the Bay. I've already used this photo some half-dozen times to deal with Jefferson and the tornado. I don't know if this is going to work, but like hell am I gonna leave her behind to the storm while I do this. I've left her behind too many times already.
The gales of time buffet against her very soul and she pushes back with everything she has - rage, fear, uncertainty, love, power.
Max thinks about all of her terrible alternate moments with Chloe. Helping her commit assisted suicide while in an agony-ridden, paralyzed body. Witnessing her murder at the hands of Nathan from a gunshot to the abdomen. A smoking bullet hole in the temple from a vengeful Jefferson. Then her memory drifts to scenes of joy. Dancing together in Chloe's room without a care in the world. Breaking into the Blackwell pool at night and swimming as sharks and otters. Kissing Chloe on a dare and seeing the utter blissful surprise painted all over her face.
Rivulets of red start trickling out of her mouth, nostrils, eyes, and down her forehead as she continues to fight the forces that stand to rip her to shreds if she loses this elemental battle. She is a gruesome sight, like something out of a terrible car accident or a horror movie.
Max is shaking with pain and fire while fighting an unbelievable current with all of her might, searching for her anchor. When she realizes she already has it.
Chloe.
Chloe is in a trance-like state as Max manipulates their position in time but slowly begins to regain consciousness and turn her head to face the girl who has her hand in a crushing grip. Chloe's eyes go wide as she sees the effects of using her powers this ferociously.
"Holy shit, Max." Chloe's mouth is agape with shock and terror.
A storm is raging all around them as Max grits her teeth and more blood seeps out. "Do not. Let. Go. Of. Me. I need you, Chloe. I need your strength."
Chloe is terrified at the thought of losing Max after all they've endured. After all Max has endured to get this far. After all of the times she has saved Chloe's life in multiple realities. She sees the toll this is taking, but she also sees the determination in Max's eyes, the sheer force of will.
"Take it, it's yours," she says without hesitation.
Chloe feels warmth surging through her body. She is a conduit of energy and her life force collides and mingles with Max's.
Max's mind flails through the turbulent sea, desperately searching for something to grasp when she's hit with the intensity of Chloe's spirit. She feels reinvigorated and firmly lays a hand on a lone rock. It's sturdy, it's solid. It gives her purchase to ride out the fury of this maelstrom.
The image in the photo moves in and out of focus as the temporal storm dissipates and the atmospheric electricity eases; everything fades to white.
A snapping sound echoes in Chloe's ears and she can feel her hand burning from the fierceness of Max's squeeze. She immediately fixates on the white-bordered square being ejected from the camera in Warren's hands.
Fuck, Max did it! She brought both of us through the photo. Unbelievable!
Chloe does a quick fist pump as she sneaks a glance at Max before Warren has a chance to face her. Her eyes grow wide with fear. Oh shit oh shit, Max still looks totally fucked up like when we were at the lighthouse.
For better or worse, Max loses her balance and collapses from fatigue, offering Chloe an opportunity to maneuver and cradle Max in her arms, away from the gaze of Warren.
"Maximillion… talk to me." Chloe swallows roughly. She's fixated on the blood that is continuing to trickle out of Max's orifices.
Max croaks out a response. "We are going to save our friends and your family. Fuck the choices. I'm making a new one."
Choices? "What do we do?"
"We are going to get in your truck and find everyone. No one gets left behind." Max stresses those words because of the memories that haunt her. Victims that have come and gone in realities past and present, like Rachel, Kate, Victoria, and Chloe.
"Did you… did you jump us both through that photo, Max?"
Max swallows a mouthful of blood. "I did. We're sharing this, you and I. I can't do it without you, so please don't let go of me."
Chloe had previously felt desperately helpless and at the mercy of so many other circumstances that caused her nothing but pain and anguish. She now has a sense of control, of purpose. She feels something in her heart, a connection with Max that is giving her an indescribable reaction.
"Uh… ladies? Is this a moment I shouldn't be interrupting or something?" Warren is slightly slurring his words and his confusion at the sudden change of atmosphere is further compounded by his intoxication.
"It's cool, bro. Max wanted to do some pre-drinking and hit the bottle a little too hard. We just need a minute, I'll keep an eye on her." Chloe cringes, it's extremely out of character for Max to drink anything other than fruit juice and water, it's sure to raise some red flags with Warren.
Chloe quickly adds, "It's the end of the world, dude! Everyone's getting fucked up, right?"
That seems to satisfy Warren as he responds with a "yeah-hah!" and staggers away.
Oh shit, the selfie. I need that, it's a linchpin that's saved my ass how many times now? Max is frantic.
"Chloe...you need to get that photo from Warren. I'm in no condition to take another one for us to keep." Max sits herself up, some of the blood drying on her cheeks and forehead.
"Ok, I'll do my best. Are you gonna be ok here by yourself?"
"Yeah, I'm just going to sit for a little bit by that tree." Max pulls herself up laboriously and lumbers over to the nearest one, releasing a long breath of air.
Chloe doesn't take stock of her surroundings until now when forced to confront them. There is a limit to where she can go and how far. Are we in the picture? She sees Warren heading towards a void that looks like the distorted edges of a burned photograph.
Quickly, Chloe shouts, "Dude! Warren! You got a minute?" She runs over to him.
Warren is shocked out of his fuddled state at the sound of Chloe's voice.
Breathing heavily, Chloe asks, "Do you mind if Max hangs on to that selfie?"
"...Why?" Warren looks at her quizzically.
A dozen different excuses fly through Chloe's mind and she fumbles the response, her high state of nerves getting the best of her.
"Because... she wants it?"
"We can take another shot later for her, let's meet up inside!"
Shit, I need Max. If I just try and grab it from him, he'll chase after me. I don't want to screw this up for her. But she's in no state to be using her powers. Fuck fuck fuck.
Desperately, she says, "Warren, I don't really have a lot of time to go into this right now. But can you believe me when I say that it's hella important she hangs on to that selfie?"
Warren shrugs his shoulders and hands over the polaroid. "I guess we'll just get another one later that I can keep, right?"
Chloe in mid run shouts, "You got it!" and sprints back to Max slumped under the tree.
"MAX!" Chloe lifts her head up to stare into heavy-lidded eyes.
Max cracks a smile, her teeth stained with blood. "Did you get it?"
"It's right here." Chloe clutches it in her hand and holds Max with her other one. "C'mon, we need to get you somewhere safe where you can recover a little. We have a lot of work ahead of us if we want to do this right with minimal use of your powers."
Abruptly, Max chokes out, "Chloe, I'm sorry for what I did at the lighthouse."
"Max, don't you ever apologize for something like that. You're putting your health and body on the line to use your powers like this, I can see what it's doing to you. Don't you dare die on me and make this decision become your grave."
"Ok. Chlo, you need to call David. Get him to your house so we can explain everything about Nathan and Jefferson."
Chloe pulls out her phone, staring at the screen without blinking and thumbs the keys with fierce desperation.
The edges of the void begin to come closer and closer to Chloe and Max as their vision fades to white.
Max slowly opens her eyes. She's in Chloe's bedroom. She's dizzy with pain when she has the realization.
Did we change that moment with Warren enough to give us the chance to save everyone? To keep Chloe alive?
White-hot agony sears her brain and she grabs at her temples.
Is this the beginning of a brain hemorrhage or something? I'm punishing my body way more with this kind of a jump than when I pressed upon the edges of rewinding those shorter moments or using my polaroids - am I going to kill myself doing this to save the people of Arcadia? To save Joyce, David, Kate, Warren, and everyone else? I'm not. Losing. Chloe. Again.
I said 'fuck that' and I mean exactly fuck that. I'll be damned if I let the Universe make me choose between Chloe and the people of Arcadia Bay. I can jump Chloe and me through photographs! Max writhes in pain on the bed. If my body is the only thing that can stop me from rescuing everyone, so be it. I do this until I collapse and hope my spirit animal is there to keep me from dying. It's worked before on those automatic VCR pauses where I was seconds away from death, so why not now?
Max can hear arguing through the floor.
Chloe remembers this conversation. I hope she remembers all the right things to say to convince David to go out there and take care of Jefferson.
There's shouting, swearing. There's no goodwill with David after having gotten him kicked out of the house and calling him on his stalker-esque behaviors, like security cameras and campus interrogations.
Chloe storms upstairs and back into her bedroom where Max is curled with the blankets, grimacing in pain.
Careless urgency got the best of her in her argument with David. "I don't know exactly what I said last time -" Chloe freezes when she sees the look on Max's face. "Oh fuck, Max… are you ok?"
She runs over to the bed and cradles Max.
"I'm… better than before, just in pain."
"I fucking hate myself right now, but I couldn't get David to go out and investigate the farm to arrest Jefferson. I can't bring myself to ask this, but can we -"
"- Rewind?"Max swallows. " I think it will be easier than a photo jump, Chlo. Hold my hand and help me concentrate."
With no concern for her own well-being, Max closes her eyes and thinks of her anchor and her rock. She feels the pressure build in her head, she becomes detached from the blood seeping out of her nostrils and ears and scalp. Max opens her eyes and looks at the alarm clock next to Chloe's bed. About one hour in the past. Chloe curls up into a ball as the pain washes over her.
"Fuck, Max, I'm sorry. I'm gonna do this right, I promise."
Max's blood is seeping into the sheets and leaving dark stains where her face is buried. It's a wet kind of warm, but it's somehow comforting to her.
Chloe goes over the entire conversation in her head and thinks about every possible comment that sets David off. She's going to leave out the step-douche comments, the cameras, and the controlling behavior. She reminds herself that David saved Max from Jefferson. Don't you ever forget that for a second. This is about preventing more Rachels, more Kates, and more Maxes - put that fucking psychopath behind bars.
Chloe turns off the attitude that has become like a second skin for her over these painful years without her father (her real father) and marches downstairs to explain to David just how right he was to be paranoid; just paranoid about the wrong people.
Max continues to sniffle into Chloe's sheets and beats herself up for making such a mess. I brought this fucking tornado. I let Chloe die time and again. I fucked this up. I fucked this up. I'm not gonna ruin this again. Chloe and I will be together and we will save our friends and family. Together.
Her head starts to spin. Is this blood loss going to give me permanent damage? Is this going to hurt me more and more every time I jump or rewind with Chloe?
Thoughts start racing through her head. Gunshots and lifeless stares.
Stop. STOP. I will not lose Chloe again. I will not lose Chloe again. If I can bring her with me, she's fucking coming with me. End. Of. Story. I will tear this goddamned Universe apart for Chloe.
Chloe has always been a piece of this puzzle, one way or another. One piece is enhanced powers that apparently let Max move other people through space-time. Or maybe it's only Chloe that can move with her? Isn't it supposed to be like in the movies, where a time traveler has to be careful not to run into their past self?
No, I don't think it works like that. Somehow I'm replacing the Max and Chloe in that moment with us, wherever and whenever we go. Or we're merging? I don't know. I'm not a physicist. I'm not going to try and hash this out with my rudimentary understanding of this kind of science anyway.
Chloe tromps back up the stairs with a satisfied grin on her face, but immediately tries to dial it back in Max's presence. She knows that David is making a beeline for the police station right now to explain the situation with as much detail as Chloe was able to relay from her and Max's experience with the Dark Room. She's confronted with the blood. So much blood. The grin is completely wiped from Chloe's face now.
Did all that blood come from Max's face? Chloe rushes over and turns Max so she can see the damage firsthand.
"Jesus fuck, Max. We need to take you to the hospital. Like now. " She's direly insistent and deadly serious. Very un-Chloe like, but given the situation, entirely warranted.
Max's face looks like someone took a paint roller and smeared it up and down her forehead, nose, and lips. But Chloe knows it isn't fucking paint.
"Max, I really think you need like an IV or something… hook you up to a blood bag? I'm obviously not a doctor, but that's a shitload of blood all over my sheets."
Max coughs. "I'm sorry about your sheets, dude."
"No no no, don't you even start with that 'sorry' shit. You're totally fucking yourself up to keep us together. That's something you're never allowed to say 'sorry' for. I absolutely forbid it. Can you walk with help, or should I carry you? You need a doctor. Like fucking yesterday."
Please don't die, Max. Please don't die. I will never forgive myself for letting you make this decision. I should have just thrown myself off that fucking cliff.
Chloe takes a breath and leans in to let Max put her arm around her for support. Max weakly moves off the bed and shuffles over to her clothes.
"I probably shouldn't go out in these super lame pj's, right?" She smiles feebly.
"Let's get you cleaned up a bit and change into something a little more presentable, ok? But quickly. If you fucking die on me, so help me…" Chloe grabs a loose towel from a hangar and gently dabs at Max's face, attempting to remove their reminder that time travel is gravely wounding a superheroine.
Chloe helps Max out of her sleep wear as gently as possible and gets her into jeans and a t-shirt.
"To the hospital with us. Now."
"Grab your Dad's camera first. We need an insurance policy in case something happens."
Chloe does her best to move slow enough to guide Max as she staggers, but with enough distress because every minute that passes not being in the hospital is making her agonizingly anxious.
The ride to the hospital is restrained, like Max and Chloe both have confessions they're hurting to make, but are fearful of verbalizing and putting out in the open. Chloe takes the plunge first.
"You said it after we jumped through Warren's photo - 'fuck the choices.' What were you talking about?"
"I feel like the Universe is trying to get me to sacrifice something. Either you or Arcadia Bay. To which I say 'fuck that.' I didn't ask for these powers. They were given to me. There's a tornado coming and the person I'm with," Max brushes Chloe's hand, "is the most important thing in my life. I would seriously move mountains for you, Chloe. I really would." Max stares intently at Chloe's profile. "But if there is even the smallest chance that I can prevent all of our friends and your family from being hurt by the tornado, I'm taking that chance."
Chloe's heart swells upon hearing Max's words. She's never felt this way about anyone in her entire life and she refuses to let this feeling go. But at the same time…
"Max, I love you so much. As a person and for what you're doing. But you're destroying your body to make this happen. If this kills you, I'll never forgive myself. Maybe it would have been better to just jump to where it all began and let nature take its course."
"No!" Max cries frantically. "No. I refuse. I absolutely, fucking refuse. I have been through Hell to keep you alive, Chloe. I'm not about to throw that all away. This has to mean something." Max points down, emphasizing the here and now while saying, "It has to. I was given these powers for a reason at a time when I hadn't seen you for five years. I don't believe for a second that there isn't a connection there."
"I'm not denying that, Max. But what if I was just a trigger for your powers and ultimately your powers are meant for something more?"
"I wish this shit came with an instruction manual, I really do. But all I know is how I feel, Chloe. I'm not giving that up again. I'm gonna do my best to make sure everything works out for as many people as I can manage, but if I have to make that choice again, you know what I'll choose."
Chloe nods in understanding, but fearful of the consequences. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
I feel like this might be my only chance all day to make use of this calm a moment.
Max smashes her lips into Chloe's with reckless abandon, completely disregarding the fact that there is an automobile being operated on a public road in need of undivided attention. She kisses Chloe with a passion and desperation that feels like a last embrace.