Chapter 1
May 29,2009
Stefan's POV
If you would have asked me 162 years ago what I wanted out of life I doubt I would have imaged myself here. In a rundown backwaters bar watching Lexi hustle two drunken rednecks at a game of pool, to be honest I don't have the slightest idea where we are exactly. For the last decade we have drifted around living moment to moment never staying in one place more than a week. It is on nights like these that I often take trips down memory lane and reevaluate my life. Wondering what could have been if Katherine Pierce had never graced our door. But what is done is done, no use in dwelling over it now.
My mind goes blank as I stare in my half empty glass; I debate for a moment on whether I am done for the night. But then I think what the hell one won't hurt, so I knock back the last of the Scotch. Just as I wave down the bartender I am hit hard with an emotion that I never thought I feel again. The only difference is it hits me hard and fast almost knocking the breath out of me. I just can't shake the feeling; it's like feeling loved and having your heart ripped out at the same time. Sort of like before except the ripping my heart out. Last time it was more of a need to protect. The bartender gives me a curious look as I stand and make my way to the door.
Leaning against the outside of the bar I try to make sense of what I am feeling. Clearing my mind I reach for my phone. There is only one way to know this is really happening. He answers on the third ring, still his snaking sarcastic self.
"Hey bro, long time no speak. I figured it would be another decade before I would hear from you."
Not feeling up for a brotherly chat I cut to the chase. "Do you feel it; it is like last time only different?"
"What no civil banter between brothers?" I can almost see the smirk on his face as he taunts me through the phone.
"We don't do civil Damon!" I grit my teeth in an effort to not crush my phone.
I hear a deep sigh on the other end. "Well since you asked of nicely. No I don't feel anything except buzzed and horny right now. But I think I know what you mean. Suddenly feels like someone ripped you heart out?
I let out a long held breath that I was not aware I was holding. "Yeah that is it exactly. How do you know?"
"Some years back it happened to me once. I drank myself through it. Last about a month...I think."
Confused and scared I need answers. "Well what brought it on? Why did it stop?"
"Slow down baby bro. I don't know what happened I just woke up one morning and I thought I was going to die. And like I said I drank myself though it, it just went away."
In Mystic Falls at the very same moment in time...
Elena's POV
I walk along the dark road trying to find peace in the chaos of my mind. Matt and fought again only this time I think I finally got through to him. How many times and how many different ways can you tell someone that you don't want the same things out of life? Some people are meant for the small town life but I'm not! I dream to see the world and meet exotic people in foreign lands. And the when I reach a ripe old age I can write about what I experienced and saw.
Headlights approach me from behind, must be my parents. I had called them after my fight with Matt. I climb in the back as the car slows to a stop. I refuse to look my parents in the eye as I buckle my seatbelt. Aunt Jenna is in town and we were supposed to have family night but Jenna being the fun Aunt that she is insisted I go to the party despite my parents protest. Mom tries to break the awkward silence.
"Elena dear try not to dwell on this thing with Matt, you did the right thing. I am sure in time you will be friends again. Just give Matt some time to adjust." She turns to face the rear of the car and smiles.
Before I have a chance to respond something in the road causes dad to jerk the steering wheel. I brace myself thinking he would hit the brakes to keep us from going over the side but it never comes. Instead the car plunges into water and time seems to slow down. I scream dad grips the steering wheel and mom lunges forward hitting her head on the dashboard. She must have unfastened her seatbelt when she turned to speak to me.
Water is filling the car and I panic. Dad reaches into the glove box and hands me a seatbelt cutter then turns back to mom trying to wake her. Quickly I cut myself free and dad yells for me to break my window. I hand the seatbelt cutter back to him once I scatter my window. Dad cuts mom free and then himself. The water is chest deep and rising. He yells for me to get out I sob that I can't go without them. Water now up to my shoulders dad assures me that they are right behind me. I swim out my window and rush to the surface. Finding my way to the embankment I try to catch my breath as I wait for my parents but they never seem to surface.
May 30th
Elena's POV
You know that moment between being awake and sleep when you can hear everything around you but yet you can't will your eyes to open. Well in that moment I hear the low hum of an air conditioner, an incisive beeping noise and the low mummer of a TV with an occasional sniffle. Willing my eyes to open I am greeted to a brightly lit room and emotional Aunt Jenna. I lift my hand to shield my eyes to see an IV placed in the back of my hand and a monitor thing on my finger. Everything comes rushing back and my first thought and question rather is where is my mom and dad? Jenna takes my free and into hers and in between sobbing breathes she tells me what I feared the most, that they did not make it out of the car.
It's not fair… the only reason dad stayed behind was to get mom. Mom was only hurt because she tried to comfort me. The only reason I needed comfort was because I had a fight with my boyfriend at a part I should not have been at. They were dead because of me! I break down crying hysterically. Jenna pulls me into a tight hug trying to calm me down but nothing seems to help. My nurse must have heard me because she rushes into the room. I miss the conversation exchanged between Jenna and my nurse but the next thing I know I feel sleepy.
Waking some time later, well much later, the sun is about to set. Jeremy now takes Jenna's place in the chair. "Hey" is all he can manage to say in a broken voice before he stands and rushes out of the room. Great now even my own brother can't stand to be in the same room with me. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself. The last thing I need right now is Nurse Jackie running in here to knock me back out. That's when I hear Jenna's voice and I open my eyes.
"Elena honey, how are you feeling? Any pain or nauseous? They said you had a concussion and that you might be nausea."
I shake my head and wince in pain. "No….not nauseous. But I have a bit of a head ache."
Jenna reaches for the call button on my bed. "Okay then I will call your Nurse. Are you hungry? I can run and get you something. I know hospital food in not ideal."
Jenna leaves right when the nurse comes in with some ibuprofen. I mute the TV leaving me in silence. Trying to make sense of everything that has happened I notice this new sensation. I feel like a part of me is missing, well besides the fact that I just lost both my parents anyway. Maybe this is not the time to dwell on it. I have parents to bury, a brother to look out for. Lord knows Jenna is not the mothering type, she is 14 years younger the mom and only 11 years older than me, more of a big sister then a mother figure.
When Jenna returns she tells me that my dad's brother Uncle John just got in town. He offered to handle the funeral arrangements not that much needed to be done. My parents were all about planning ahead for these types of things. I am grateful Uncle John offered but at the same time a bit confused. He was never really around growing up, I guess he and my dad where not close.
Stefan's POV
I tried to sleep last night but sleep never came. Not that I need sleep anyways, it is just a nice way to pass time sometimes. My mind was reeling with the different possibilities of what I could be feeling. I make a mental list of some witches I could look up; maybe they could clue me in. I know Damon won't be much help as long as it doesn't interfere with his drinking or endless rounds of ménage à trois. One thing is for sure this feeling stuck around this time, not a fleeting pass like so many years ago. Just as I give up and decided to get ready for the day I hear a knock at the adjoining door to Lexi's room. Shirtless and in a pair of cotton drawstring sleep pants I answer the door. Lexi is still dressed as she was the night before; she must have just gotten in.
She flops herself on my bed and props herself up with my pillows. With an all knowing smirk she asks the dreaded question.
"So Stefan, what put you on edge last night? I thought you would be used to my hunting habits by now. Only been BFF's for 80 or so years."
I sit on the edge of the bed opposite of Lexi. "Nothing you did Lexi, I promise. Haven't you forgotten, you can do no wrong?"
She hits in the face with a pillow and says with a grin. "Well that takes a load of my chest." But then she losses the smile. "Seriously Stefan what's going on? And don't lie, I know you to well."
"Well it actually first started about 16 or 17 years ago. The last time Damon and I saw each other last. It is this intense feeling Damon and I both experienced it at the same time. We both felt an overwhelming love and need to protect. It was like we longed to find someone. It left after about a day but this time is different. For one the feeling is progressively becoming more intense plus it hit me hard and fast. Almost like someone ripped my heart out. But I can't tell you why or how."
Lexi looked at me with concern. Perhaps she thinks I am losing it. "Wow! I was not expecting that. Here I was thinking you slipped up or something. Shit Stefan, have you called Damon is he feeling this too?"
"Yeah I called him. He says it happened to him once and he drank himself comatose till it passed. No clue why it happen or how it stopped."
"Typical Damon. Well I suggest we go on a witch hunt. I bet they might have an idea, unless you want to pull a Damon. "
Lexi crashes for the day as I start making a list of witches I know and where I saw them last. I list itself is quite short and I have no way of knowing if they are still even alive. If I am lucky they might have a decedent or two around to help. At sun set we will continue our road trip to nowhere.
June 1st
Elena's POV
I see myself in the mirror, knee length dress in black. It is sleeveless; Jenna thought it would best to be comfortable rather than hot and more miserable then I already am. She even found this cute shawl to wear with it. I almost skipped on the makeup not want to have to chance of smearing any mascara when I cry; but then again I think I am all cried out…for now. Just maybe I will cry myself to sleep tonight.
I was released yesterday from the hospital. Jenna and Jeremy both were there. I think Jeremy was there because Jenna made him. I can tell he blames me. The ride home was silent, Jenna stopped for takeout. As soon as we got home Jeremy bolted to his room and stayed there for the night. I know we have to talk at some point but right now I have no idea what to say other then I am sorry.
Here at the cemetery everyone in town shows for the funeral. All day I keep hearing how sorry everyone is for our loss and how my parents where such great people. I don't need to be reminded, I remember; after all they were my parents. The one thing I am gratefully for is Bonnie and Caroline, they don't say anything just a hug and a 'call me if you need anything'. They understand somewhat, Bonnies mom left when she was young and Caroline's parents split some years back.
The service itself is beautiful, I imagine mom made sure of that. All the right songs are played, most beautiful poems recited. I think half way through I zone out barely taking notice of the words being spoken. Jenna gives me a gentle shake bringing me back to reality. It is my turn to say my last good byes. Placing a red rose on the lid of both coffins I feel my throat tighten and my eyes water. Who know I had any tears left to cry?
The Lockwood's open their home for everyone together after the funeral. It seems the whole town closed up shop today. Wanting to avoid everyone's sympathetic stares I sneak out the kitchen door and hide out on the back porch. Tyler must have seen me sneak out because he sits next to me and offers me a flask. I pass. As bad as I feel that is road I don't need or want to go down.
Eventually we head home, it may only be 4:30 in the afternoon but the day seems to never want to end. I change and head down stairs. Midway down I hear Uncle John and Jenna arguing. I turn to go back upstairs but my name pecks my interest. Of course I forget about that one squeaky step half way down the stairs, by the time I reach the kitchen all discussion has stopped, although something tells me the issue is still an issue.
I get a bottle of water from the fridge and then take a seat at the table trying to act as if nothing was wrong. Despite my effort Jenna and Uncle John both take a seat across of me.
Uncle John speaks first "Elena I know that you have been through a lot in the past few days and I hate to add to you stress but there is something I need for you to know."
I just nod for him to continue.
"I think I will be honest here and just say that you are adopted Elena. And I am you biological father."
"What?" I manage to choke out. Why is he telling me this now, what does it matter? My father is gone!
"Look Elena I am only telling you this because you have a twin sister. If it weren't for that I would have never brought this up. Your parents were going to tell you on your 18th birthday and Jenna was going to follow through with their wishes. But I thought that maybe now would be best considering the circumstances."
I have no idea what to say. But I need to say something. "What makes you think I would want to know this now? Do you think I would want a new instant family?"
Uncle John is silent for a few moments. "Look…there is going to be a void in your life and I thought it would be best to fill it with you biologically mother and sister instead of drugs and alcohol."
"What makes you think I would do such a thing? And my sister is with our mother? I don't understand, why did she stay with her and I didn't?" I almost feel unwanted.
He takes a deep breath before answering. "Well it's simple really. We were young and in love, she became pregnant and intended to keep the baby. We did not have a lot of money so we came to my brother Grayson for medical care. We did not know she was having twins. He said something about your heart beats being in sync with each other which were why we did not know. Isobel was terrified about having to raise two babies and we didn't think we could finically. Meredith and Grayson had been trying for a few years to have a baby and when they offered to adopt you it seemed to be the perfect solution."
Trying to take in everything he just said I lean back in my chair. "So where are they? Do they want to see me?'
"I don't know Elena. Isobel and I split up a few years later and then she married a guy named Alaric. He asked to adopt Elyssa and I let him. I will admit I was never there for her and he was."
To be honest I can say I am not shocked by that confession. "Well do you at least have a last name so I do a search for them?"
He goes into the kitchen to get some paper and a pen. "Yes of course. Their last name is Saltzman."
I thank him and walk back up to my room. I am not sure what to do with the information, not even sure if I even want to meet this sister of mine. But in case I change my mind I tape the piece if paper to my mirror. Maybe one day I will have the nerve to look them up.