I couldn't sleep so wrote this possibly a two shot, maybe three! Based on the spoilers for Joey rejecting Lauren outside the vic (article in all about soap mag) anyways enjoy, although it is rather sad :( Jouren atm is heartbreaking so writing sad things is a little easier unfortunately.

Listen

I sat in complete disbelief. A mixture of horror and pain washing through my veins as Lucy descended her lips down onto Joey's. Sure it wasn't the first time I had seen them kiss, god before we were together it was like watching tonsil tennis. But since me and Joey had discovered our feelings for one and other, the thought of them two kissing churned my stomach, yet here I was witnessing it, just weeks after he had dumped me.

A few tears had dropped down onto my cheek as my eyes stayed fixated on the pair, the feeling of sick rising in my mouth now rather evident. Pushing past some random local, I headed out the door, turning the corner to The Vic alleyway, unwelcome vomit pouring from my mouth, the image of them stirring around in my mind, Lucy controlling it all with a big spoon.

Finally finishing, I slumped down against the wall, craving a drink desperately, one to wash my mouth out with and the other to numb the pain that was crippling me inside. My heart aching, the literal feeling of it being torn from my chest. How he could sit there and do it before my eyes was beyond me.

I wasn't even sure Joey knew he was killing me. Why would he? I was his ex, I wasn't anything to him anymore, and he was free to do what he wanted, when he wanted, including kissing Lucy, though I'd rather him not.

Wiping my mouth and dragging myself back up off the floor, I headed back into the pub, I needed a drink, I wanted a drink. I refused to look over at the table towards them as I ordered a drinking, leaning up against the bar. As Tracy passed me a straight vodka, I necked the entire glass, ordering another instantly.

"Don't you think you should slow down?" his voice echoed over my shoulder, I could feel the warm from his body close behind me, I groaned internally why did he have to torture me by being this close.

"Don't you think you should fuck off" I muttered under my breath, I hadn't intended to swear, this was just my anger coming out.

"Rude" he stated, coming to stand next to me as I downed the following drink, my eyes finally meeting his. His drifting to my tear stained cheeks and pale face. "You've been sick".

I rolled my eyes, he could always tell when I had been sick, as if the look on my face gave it away.

"Yeah, you playing tonsil tennis with Lucy brought back up my dinner from last night" I snapped honestly whilst paying for my third drink.

"She kissed me unexpectedly, I didn't kiss her" his voice almost pleading a little. My eyes snapped up to his.

"But you influenced her Joey, it's what you do, play girls around I should know, I got played" I hissed, I was trying to hurt him, I wanted to hurt him.

"I didn't play you Lauren" his voice a little angry with my comment, good.

"Sure" I rolled my eyes, turning away from him as I downed another drink, though his hands pulled the glass away from my lips, slamming it down on the bar.

"You don't need that" he hissed, as I wiped my mouth furiously, who was he to tell me what I need and don't need.

"How do you know what I need? You don't even know me at all" I shouted a little louder, gaining the attention from the pub. My eyes darting to Lucy as she smirked a little.

"Keep your voice down" he hissed once more, pulling me towards him.

"No, why should I? I think you should all listen up" I shouted a little louder, pulling my arm out of his grip, stumbling away from him I climbed onto the bar, Joey trying desperately to get me down, but failing.

"You all are hypocrites, every single one of you, looking down your noise at my life, you should take a look at your own" I smirked, looking at Lucy.

"You are a lying scumbag Lucy Beale, happy with yourself are you, got Joey believing every single word you say, when I know the truth" I hissed pointing at her, watching her face go red, her eyes looking anywhere but me, something I noticed Joey see. His face scrunching with confusion.

"I will never forget what you've done" I slurred, my head now pounding as the three drinks I drunk in record speed now reached my head.

"And you, I hate you" I laughed loudly, his eyes turning to horror at my words. "I hate you".

I steadied myself, Joeys face wash with a million emotions, as I jumped down from the bar, his hands reaching out to me.

"Come on you need fresh air" he whispered, taking a hold of my arms and leading me out.

I let myself be taken from the pub, Joey holding me upright, the feeling of his hands on my waist was torture and he turned me to face him. My eyes finally meeting his, I couldn't help the tears that fell from them.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I whispered, I still didn't understand why he broke up with me when he claimed he loved me.

"I'm doing this to save you, don't you get it?" he replied, brushing the hair away from my face.

My eyes locked with his once more as my bottom lip began to wobble a little a sod almost desperate to escape. He was watching me intently as I leant a little closer, his lips so close to mine, that's when his hands stopped me holding me still so I couldn't go any further.

"No Lauren, I can't" he stated, keeping me at arms length. "It's over Lauren".

He walked away from me, I was unsure where he was going but I guessed anywhere but near me.

"I know you love me Joey, so why are you killing me this way?" I shouted, not getting any response as he continued to walk away.

"YOUR JUST LIKE HIM, HURTING THE PEOPLE YOUR MEANT TO LOVE" I screamed, watching him stop in his tracks. He had tensed up in a similar way when I said it back in January when he finally retuned.

"And I hate you just liked I hated him, because your just the same" I hissed, intending to hurt him, how he has hurt me.

"I'm nothing like him" he finally spoke turning back to face me.

"You know what Joey, I wish I had died in that car crash, then things wouldn't of gone so far with us, this pain wouldn't be happening" I cried, wiping the tears from my eyes. I was playing dirty but I needed an honest reaction from him.

"You don't mean that" he practically whispered, his eyes looking at me in disbelief.

"I mean every single word" I punctuated each word I spoke "I would be better off dead than suffering this constant pain each and every day, seeing you day in, day out your fine I meant nothing to you, but you meant the world to me and now I suffer all because of you, I won't take it anymore, I'm done".

"Don't you see Lauren, I've done this to save you, you rely on alcohol daily, your more dependent on it than me, until you sort that out, sort your issues out I can't be with you" he replied, rubbing his face with his hand.

"You haven't saved me, you've sent me to an early grave" I whispered, turning away from him, I needed to go home.