Notice me Sunpai
Chapter 1: A New Hell
I stare blankly out of the car window as we drive by a place I don't really care for. Most people at this point become bored looking out the window with nothing to do, for me I find nothing better than looking at a world go quickly by. To forget the faces of people I'll never meet is easier when they're all blurred. My neck becomes stiff from sitting in the same position for over an hour. My mother is driving to what she likes to call "our new chapter in life", personally, I don't care. My chapters in my life are pretty much the same, no one interesting, no one exciting and no one worth remembering. This is our second day on the road, stopping by tourist death traps and staying in cheap disgusting motels. At one point I hoped we never reach our destination. My mother had the map upside down for the first three hours of our long car journey but the horrible thing about hope, it fades all too quickly. Eventually my mother realised her mistake and was driving in the right direction. The radio was playing songs that are too happy for my taste. Signs posted along the road seem to be pointing to a new city which I've never heard of, to a place I don't care for. I look at her occasionally and then turn my attention to the window. My pale blue eyes blink every so often, sometimes I can go minutes without blinking, which to me is impressive. It hurts for a while when I do that but pain is the only true feeling I have. Happiness is an illusion and fades as quickly as hope.
"Will be there soon." My mother breaks the silence between us.
"Can't wait." I said with a fake smile and as much enthusiasm as getting socks for Christmas.
"I promise," she suddenly says "This will be the last time we move. I know it hasn't be easy on you moving from city to city. Leaving all your friends behind but this will be it." She says confidently. I'd laugh at that statement if I understood humour. The last time she said that was supposed to be the last time and yet here we are again. We always seem to move every so often to a new place to start a new life, but why? I guess I don't ask why because it means little to me. Somehow I must've fallen asleep because all of a sudden, everything goes black. It's not long until I'm awake again, I wasn't out long ten minutes at best. Light comes flooding in to my eyes and it hurts, once again the feeling of pain is all I know. I step out of the car and have a look at our new home. It's nothing special. A simple four bedroom house, white walls, a blue door and an adjoin garage that we'll probably never use because it will be filled with junk my mother refuse's to get rid of. Most of our stuff is in storage and will be sent around to our new home once an agreed date is reached. I only know all this because I was the one who had to arrange it. My mother, moonshine, was unable to form sentences after a night out so the job fell to me. I'd probably have to do that at some point but for now I just want to get in and wait until we have to move again. As I grab my bag of clothes that I've kept on me since we moved, I wonder what new horrors this city has for me. As I look around it seems we now live in a suburban area. A nice garden, a quiet street and the new school isn't too far away, for all my complaining its better than the apartment building we lived in not too long ago. I never knew rats could grow that big. As I walk through the front door I notice the walls are white, my mother would argue that they're beige but to me white is white no matter what you call it. The stairs were wooden and the banister was varnished with walnut wood. The downstairs was spacious but since there's only two of us anywhere is spacious.
"Pale moon, sweetie." My mother calls "Why don't you go and pick your room. While I sort out some of this stuff."
"Kay." I reply. It's always my mother's way of making things up to me for dragging me from a place no one knew I was there. I get to choose any room I want and my mother has the other room. As I walk up the stairs I feel dragged down, maybe that car journey took more out of me than I thought. There was something strange about that unexpected sleep in the car, we happened to be passing the new high school I was attending when it happened. A perfume scent of coconuts and pineapple had filled my nostrils. Perhaps it was my mother's new perfume. Maybe I just closed my eyes to ignore the school and its hundreds of mouth breathers or perhaps the long miles we travelled just made me tired. Yeah, that's it. It has to be one of those. As I reach the top of the stairs I look in both directions. Two doors one way, three doors the other. My chance of finding a bedroom are one in five, I open the first door at the end of the hall on the right hand side. It's a small bedroom, nope. As I look in the other doors I find small minor faults with the rooms and the bathroom. It's only on the last door when I open it and walk around it I think to myself it has everything I need. A nice spacious room with a window facing away from the street and onto the fields behind us. That's good I hate it when people walk by the house and try to see what's inside, you never know which one of them might try to break in late one night. For example, that time someone decided to try their luck for a quick buck. An unfortunate incident happed to that thief when he thought he could get away with breaking into my room. Well it's a good thing he was ambidextrous, otherwise it would have been hard to write his name when signing the confession. A door to the left of the room leads to en-suite. A clean white bath, a shower and my own toilet. Something I've always wanted. Sharing a bathroom with my mother wasn't exactly ideal, especially after her night outs. As I put my stuff down on the floor, I smiled. "This…could be good." I said aloud to myself. Maybe things wouldn't go wrong this time. Somehow I knew that wouldn't be the case. As I walked down the stairs I saw my mother leaving out the front door.
"Where are you going?" I question her. She stopped and said in an apologetic voice.
"Sorry sweetie, I just got a phone call I got to go to a business meeting." Somehow I knew she was lying. But curious as I am, I ask her.
"By business meeting you mean actual business or the business meeting that involves a lot of drink." My mother's face turned red, it was that kind of business meeting.
"I've left you some money to get some food, it's on the counter in the kitchen." She said as she walked out the door, slamming it shut. Barely here for an hour and my mother is already out, drinking with people she'll be working with the next day, if she can still stand. My mother knows I don't like food that's been prepared by someone else. All their nasty, disgusting, vile germs spreading everywhere. I take the money and put it in my wallet. I decided to look in our cooler bag to see if there was anything left. There was. A half-eaten BLT sandwich that's been sitting at the bottom of an uncooled cooling bag for two days. I pick it up and take a bite. The mayonnaise tastes disgusting, the bacon salty and the lettuce and tomato long gone. I swallow hard and take another bite, even though this was awful it was better than going out and getting something to eat. Suddenly I feel uneasy, dizzy and sweating. It felt as though I had a huge stone in my stomach. Then without warning I threw up in the sink. It was a large yellow bile mess with bits of pink mixed in. Great. Barely two hours here and I'm already sick. Sick of this, sick of this house, sick of this life. I throw the rest away and stagger towards the stairs. I grab hold of the banister and look up. My vision was becoming impaired as I saw two sets of stairs and one misplaced foot would cause serious injury. I hold back the vomit that was in my throat and begin my climb. As I reach the top I realise my one error in choosing my room. It was at the other end of the hallway, meaning in my current state a few feet may as well be a few miles. I place my hand on the walls forcing my weakened body to move. Every movement was painful and I needed to throw up, quickly. As I reached my room I stumbled in to my ensuite. I hacked and heaved as more yellow bile came up, it was disgusting. As I pushed down on the flush mechanism I washed my hands thoroughly and then crawled into my sleeping bag. It was my only comfort, as I didn't like sleeping in beds other people had slept in. My mother always said the staff cleaned these regularly, but I don't believe a word she says. I shiver and sweat as my illness takes hold and I fall asleep into a deep, dark, peaceful slumber. As the night progresses my sleep becomes filled with turmoil and restlessness. The pain keeps reminding it's there, it's always there. I soon come to realize that it is not the pain in my stomach that's making me restless, it's my nightmare. My dreams always start and end the same. It starts in the blackness and ends in blackness. These dreams I love are peaceful, calming, solidarity and dare I say it, enjoyable. I call these my philosophical dreams. This is where I reflect upon everything, how the world should be, how people should be more like me. Call me narcissistic, I don't care I close my eyes, breathe in deeply and I feel at peace. Then that smell comes back. Stronger this time. Coconuts and pineapple, why coconuts and pineapple, I detest tropical fruit. As I stand up and spin round to see which direction the smell is coming from I start to feel warm, perhaps I'm sicker than I thought. Suddenly a burst of light pierces my veil of darkness and nearly blinds me. As I raise my hand to shield my eyes I realise this is where it's coming from, everything. The smell, the warmth, the light and…colour. Orange and yellow intertwined in my dark world, they dance around like me like it knows me. I begin to smile at it just as it becomes more intensive. I feel myself being consumed by it as I watch my dark world disappear. As I wake up in a cold sweat and I look around my bare room I realise it was just a dream. The real nightmare begins with rising of the morning sun, as I realised I have school today. I sigh deeply.
"A new day and a New Hell, await me."