AUTHOR'S NOTE: My first attempt at Homestuck Fanfiction. Have mercy on me.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine.
WARNING: Karkat's language, necessary OC's
SUMMARY: The thing is no one knew anything more about "Kitty" other than her delicious cooking (Dave obviously doesn't want to share – ever) but the guys are more or less already in love with her. Drew insists she's probably this blond bombshell with big, blue eyes, all curves with legs that go on forever and a great rack... Practically everyone in the team has their own opinion.
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Matt met Dave Strider a month after classes began and Calvin University's basketball team opened its doors for new blood. He remembers how Dave sat on the bleachers, hunched over and fiddling with his iPhone, looking a little out of place with his bright red shirt and dark sunglasses. Matt thought he was lost or maybe he wanted to watch them play until the coach arrived and Dave was on his feet, wandering over leisurely to line up, surprising him and most of the other freshmen.
Dave was tall but not as tall as the others and he was a little on the thin side. Other than his unusual coloring, white-blond hair and unbelievably pale skin, he was pretty much like an average guy. He looked more like he belonged in a fashion magazine because he was, aesthetically, a good looking guy. He certainly didn't look like he'd be able to hold his ground in a basketball court and Matt saw the coach and the other players agreed, giving him a quick, dismissive glance before turning to the others.
When try-outs began, the coach got him to go first on a one-on-one match, probably hoping to get him out of the way as quickly as possible. But Dave Strider blew them all away as soon as his hands touched the ball, zipping through the court and getting a three-point shot right of the bat, still wearing those sunglasses, and had everyone's jaw fall to the floor in shock. Even the coach was stupefied and he was not easily impressed. He wanted to see how far the kid could go. Throughout the try-outs, it didn't matter who or how many guarded him because Dave Strider managed to get past them all and the coach was just too eager to get him on the team.
And, as they say, the rest is history.
Dave is a very private person and that hasn't changed in the past four months they've known each other. He has a large group of friends and followers but they aren't anything more than that. He flirts with the girls who follow him around but never lets them close so it becomes a surprise when they hear Dave talking on the phone on a particularly rainy Sunday afternoon, sports bag slung carelessly over his shoulder while he holds a plastic bag in his hand.
He moves to the bleachers to have a little privacy but not before they hear him say a couple of things.
"Yeah, I got in just fine, Kitty Cat. Stop fussing," he says and Matt can almost feel him roll his eyes behind those sunglasses. Despite that though, there is a fondness in his voice that Matt hasn't heard him use before. "No way in hell am I sharing my dinner with anybody," he says with a snort as he looks into the bag. "Yeah, they can have the oatmeal and raisin cookies. Who would want those anyway? It's like chunks of dandruff and shrivelled goat shit in chewy cookie dough." He pauses and his smile (if one called it that) stretched (like a tenth of a millimeter) wider.
The guys stop whatever they are doing and stare as he plops down on the bleachers.
"Love you, princess," he says, moving the phone an arm away from his ear and Matt can hear a string of muffled sounds coming from it. Whoever it (she, Matt's brain screams) is, they are (she is, his brain screams again) very loud. When Dave gets the phone back to his ear, he listens and grins before hanging up.
It turns out to be the quietest practice they've had in weeks. After practice, Dave hands them a small tin of – surprise! – raisin and oatmeal cookies as he promised and he has to disagree with Dave because they are the best damn cookies he ever tasted.
The following Sunday afternoon practices progresses in this way with Dave on the phone with "Kitty" when he arrives and a box of whatever treats Kitty cooked (her mac and cheese and hamburgers were to die for and those fudge brownies, UGH!) for the day. The team starts to look forward to them like some kind of reward after a gruelling day and even the coach sneaks off with a cupcake or two. Considering that they are getting only Dave's "leftovers" and they are practically salivating, Matt can only imagine what kind of food Kitty makes for Dave and he is a little jealous because Dave must be the luckiest guy on earth to have her.
As it turns out, Kitty is not only the answer to their gastronomic prayers but she is also their guardian angel, protecting them from the wrath of a clearly demonic (read: extremely sexually frustrated) Dave.
It is the coach's fault and the old man doesn't feel sorry about it. He schedules them all for a training camp on a weekend when Dave is supposed to go to his brother's place an hour and a half's drive from campus and shit hits the fan pretty quickly from there.
Dave goes, albeit grudgingly because they think Kitty said so but Dave is not happy about it and he makes sure everyone knows it. The weekend is an exhausting trial of balls getting shot at their faces and snappy comebacks that had everyone wincing. The following week without Kitty is much worse and pushes the proverbial snowball of Dave's revenge down a very steep hill as he almost breaks everyone's fingers. Dave obviously adores her so much that he doesn't dump her to fool around with someone else no matter how some of them kind of wished he did (but not really because she's Kitty) so he can release some of that tension. The team can't wait long enough for the weekend to come and sure enough, by Sunday, he comes back with an almost-smile on his face and a box of brownies and apple pie.
The thing is no one knew anything more about "Kitty" other than her delicious cooking (Dave obviously doesn't want to share – ever) but the guys are more or less already in love with her. Drew insists she's probably this blond bombshell with big, blue eyes, all curves with legs that go on forever and a great rack. Jamal thinks she's probably a redhead with cute freckles and Jorge insists she's a Latina, all wavy, dark curls and doe eyes. Practically everyone in the team has their own opinion.
The chance to see her finally comes on a practice game with Sassacre College and they learn that Kitty will be coming to watch the game between Dave and his childhood best friend, John Egbert – who they have no idea existed until he comes to the gym, all smiles and corny jokes, telling Dave about the good news.
"I already told Crab Cat about the game, Egderp," Dave says and the team pretends not to listen while they exchange glances with each other.
Crab Cat is only one of the few names Dave called Kitty (until now, they still aren't sure if Kitty is her actual name) and it's probably because she has a temper or whatever. Among others are Kitty Crab, Princess, Carkitty (they don't know where that came from) and a bunch of other stuff that kinda makes Kitty's temper tantrums understandable.
"Aw, that's so unfair, Dave. I wanted to tell Car," says Egbert, pushing his rectangular frames up the bridge of his nose. His overbite peeks down his lips in a frown before he brightens up again. "Well, anyway, I'll be driving us over for the game."
Car? Like Carol? Or maybe Caroline? Carla?
"Nuh-uh," Dave refuses, shaking his head. "Bro's taking Car."
John deflates a little. He shuffles his feet a bit, a little tense and uncomfortable. "Dave," he starts, a little hesitant. "There isn't anything between me and Car, you know. I mean, we're just friends. Really."
Another exchanged glance between the guys and they suddenly feel there's some history there.
It took a while for Dave to reply. He sighs. "Fine, you can ride with Bro."
The day of the game arrives and time passes in a blur of passes and shots. They win against Sassacre by one point and coach is yelling in the locker room that it was too close and they will be doubling the work every day to make up for it. They don't hear the other stuff he says because it doesn't matter compared to Kitty who is somewhere out there and they are so close to meeting her.
Dave finishes up quickly, grabbing his things and shoving them in his bag. He steps out and they hurry after him. Jamal pulls a bouquet of daisies, peonies and roses from his locker and they stare at it, wondering how he managed to slip it past them.
"What?" he says as they stare at him, his dark skin turning darker as he flushes.
Dave is pretty quick on his feet and they nearly lose him in the crowd. They spot him walking down the parking lot towards Egbert and two other guys. The first one they spot looks like Dave except he is obviously older and broader. His hair is all spiked up and his sunglasses were triangular in shape. The second guy is about a head shorter than Egbert and has messy black hair standing in all directions and wide, thick-rimmed glasses perched on his nose. He's thin and wears an oversized turtleneck shirt with its sleeves going past his knuckles.
They look around but there is no sign of Kitty anywhere and seeing as she's not there yet, they decide to approach and socialize.
Dave bumps Egbert's fist with his own and dodges a noogie from Matt supposes is his brother before he turns to the Shorty and –
"Holy shit," Duke mutters and Jamal nearly drops the bouquet as they watch their supposedly straight teammate kiss another dude like nothing but the two of them exist in this world.
It's like watching a car crash. Matt wants to look away but it is impossible when Dave has his tongue down Shorty's throat when Kitty could arrive any minute. It's probably irrational of him but he wants to beat Dave up for cheating on Kitty.
Older Strider – Bro? – clears his throat and he is smirking at the dudes playing tonsil hockey. "You have an audience."
It's like a switch goes off and Shorty shoves Dave off him and looks around him with wide brown eyes before he rounds up back to Dave with a snarl.
"What the fucking hell, Dave?!" he screams and they watch Dave fix his sunglasses over his nose. "You knew they were there all along, didn't you?!"
"Sure, I did," Dave replies and there is some eye-rolling going on in that response. "I just want to make things clear before they meet you, Crab Princess."
Whoa, now –
"Make what clear exactly?"
"Look but no touch."
"What the fuck?"
"It's the rules, Karkitty."
Wait a sec –
"Rules?! What rules?! And what the hell have I fucking told you about those dumbass nicknames?!"
"They're pieces of my genius and you love them with all your heart."
Wait one damn minute –
"That is effortless bullshit right there. Bullshit that only a Strider can come up with – no offense, Dirk."
The elder Strider pushed his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. "I'll take it as a compliment, Kitty Cat."
"Oh, God, not you, too," the little shorty groaned before he turned a scalding glare at Strider. "I blame you for this. I said no such thing. I don't even know how you passed second grade with your so-called 'genius' when you can't even get my name right. Quit it with the nicknames already."
"But Crab Cake is an awesome name. It's so… you."
Oh, God, it can't be –
"I like Beep-beep Meow, myself," Egbert chirps from the side, earning himself a glare.
"Shut your fucking maw, Egbert, and don't give this asshole any more stupid ideas." He looked at all of them before throwing his arms up in the air. "That's fucking it. I give up. You douchebags are ganging up on me. Again. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I subject myself to this form of brain-numbing torture when I can just stay at home and watch a good movie?"
"Man, your movies suck. Besides, I like you better in the kitchen," Dave quipped helpfully.
"That better not be some smartass remark about my predilection for cooking and your weird-as-fuck fetish for ruffled, pink aprons," Shorty deadpanned. "And romcoms do not suck. They are awesome, you fuckass!"
Oh, fuck, TMI! T! M! I!
"Dude, why don't you introduce us to your team?" Older Strider cuts in smoothly before anybody else can say anything.
"Sup," Dave greets. He points to Older Strider. "This is my Bro." Then, to Egbert. "You already know him." Then to Shorty. "And this is my little Princess."
"Fuck you, Strider."
"Love you, too, baby."
The little guy looks just about ready to burst a vein before he takes a deep breath and calms himself. "My name is Karkat Vantas. Not Princess. Not Crab Cake. Not Crab Kitty. Not Karcrab or any dumbass fucking names he," Kitty – er, Karkat – jabs a thumb at Dave, "made up."
It's awkward but the guys manage to introduce themselves to everyone including Karkat and damn, Matt can kind of understand why Dave is a little too possessive of his boyfriend. Karkat is loud and he definitely has a temper but he's surprisingly nice and easy to talk to if you are anyone else but Dave. With the guys around and him not knowing them well, he becomes this shy, blushing thing that no one can resist. Matt remembers Jamal giving him the bouquet and he blushed and stuttered a shy thank you and it was so adorable (in a non-homosexual way, of course) the way he held the flowers in his arms. He doesn't have to know that Jamal was almost shitting in his pants because Dave was glaring lasers at him through his shades.
They learn later on that Karkat is studying Culinary Arts (hence all the food), and soon he makes them their own goodie bags. He is also very good at giving relationship advice and the guys call him once in a while for any girl trouble. He visits campus more frequently now and sits with the team girlfriends during games then he disappears with Dave after them. There are times when they are caught in the hallways, kissing the stuffing out of each other or just arguing with each other (more like Karkat arguing and Dave just watching him).
Matt figures that Kitty really doesn't have to be a girl. Karkat is perfect the way he is. The longer they know him, the more he becomes a part of their team. He's a cool dude even with all the yelling. He isn't at all what anybody expected but he is great and it is fun to rile him up (as long as Dave isn't looking).
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hope you guys liked it!
Comments are appreciated!