This is just a little something that came to mind whilst at work. Thought that I would post it. It slightly AU and Its basically a letter that Bella wrote before she jumped off the cliff in twilight except in this fic she was planning on killing herself. Its her final thoughts. Please don't read if this will cause you any discomfort.
I don't own twilight and I am not making any money from this. I am merely borrowing the characters.
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Happy ever after, what a Joke. Happy ever after only exists in in Fairy tales. Fictional stories where a unhappy girl meets a hopeful prince, in that moment he instantly knows that she is the only one for him. He knows, without a doubt, that for her he would walk through fire. She knows for sure that this is the man that will make her eternally happy. So in that moment they fall madly in love. As I said what a joke.
I have never been a dreamer. Never thought that fairy tales actually exist. I don't really know why but it just never struck me as something that could actually happen in real life. That was until HE showed up. That's when everything changed. He became my life, my heart and my soul. To be with him meant everything. I started to believe that happy endings where real, that it didn't just happen in stories . I felt like I was walking on a cloud when he held me. I felt safe, loved and seen. I'm not saying that I was miserable before I met him because I wasn't . I was content with what life had given me and didn't really feel the need for more. So when I met him I wasn't expecting to feel what I felt. I didn't really understand what was happening to me I just knew that I could never be apart from him.
With him I was the princess, he was the prince and there would be happy ever after. Then everything fell to pieces with four little words "I don't want you". With those words a hole formed. It was like a huge chunk of me had been cut out and destroyed.
My life before him was like looking through a dirty window. I could see the world outside and It was pretty. Being with him was like the window had been cleaned. Everything looked better, brighter, more beautiful. With him gone it was worse then before, it was like I had been put in to a windowless room. Pure blackness.
The view before me should be breath taking but it means nothing to me. The way the waves lap against the cliff or the rays of sunlight glistening off the surface should capture me. Should mesmerise me but this is NOT the reason why I am here. This cliff is purely a means to an end. A finality that I crave. Something that I can trust in. The wind is picking up, I think its going to rain. It appears as if the weather is anticipating my demise.
So this is the end. No happy ever after for me.
Bella