Chapter 1- New Roles
She couldn't believe it; the rules had changed yet again. Three new roles were added to the game and among those three- she was chosen to be one of them. Demure sat in a circle with two of her acquaintances Lila and Dimca waiting to be approached by the Caterpillar.
"Ah Lila, Dimca, Demure you have come on time" Nightmare appeared before them with a grin on his face that never seemed to fade while in their presence.
"It's not like we had a choice" Lila said inclining her head as she spoke. Her voice was as monotonous as the other two girls. We were known for our monotonous tones, why fake feelings in our voices like the others when we didn't feel those emotions. It all seemed so pointless, if you didn't feel anything why would you try to hide that fact? If we died, our clocks would be taken to the watchmaker and he would repair us. We would be sent out into the world again to live again and attain another faceless role.
"Why are we here Nightmare?" Dimca asked, her voice seemed to be stronger than Lila's or my own. She took on the role of fearlessness. She wasn't scared of anything, not that Lila and I were afraid of things; she just seemed to be unreachable most times.
"Why you have been chosen" Nightmare laughed before doubling over in a coughing fit. He was always too sickly to do much and we just watched his fit unconcerned for his health. The coughing up blood was usually just for show.
"Chosen for what?" I finally found my voice and decided to ascertain an answer.
"You are the new role holders" Role holders, something everyone craved to have, craved to be. We would be important we would finally have a face.
"Who died?" Lila voiced the question all of us had on our minds.
"No one you are the first to fit into these roles. Dimca you came first, Lila second, and Demure you are last" Nightmare pulled Dimca into a standing position.
"First came Fifteen" he stated before kissing her forehead. Lila stepped up beside Dimca.
"Then Thirty" Nightmare kissed her forehead. I stood and stepped up beside her. Nightmare floated in front of me.
"The circle completes with you, Forty-five" As soon as his lips touched my forehead a fiery, burning sensation spread throughout my body. I could hear Dimca's and Lila's screams mixing with my own, we were experiencing pain for the first time in our faceless lives.
Somewhere along the line I had passed out. I awoke by someone's shaking, it tossed my body effortlessly. Opening my eyes, they had to focus for once; I could clearly open my eyes and see for the first time, such a human thing. A pretty girl's face greeted my sight once it focused. Her hair falling in waves down about her shoulders was a fiery red, with under tones of blue throughout. She blinked her aqua eyes which showed concern in the almond shape.
"Demure?" she asked her voice no longer monotonous but full of worry. "Are you ok?"
"Lila?" I barely recognized her as she sat in front of me, for the first time she looked human if not for the ticking clock ringing in my ears I would have believed she were one.
"Lila, where are we?" I found myself unfamiliar with our surroundings.
"Well the Watchmaker's tower" she said and my eyes followed hers towards the grey tower. We had decided then to drop in on the Watchmaker. Someone we both hated and feared, maybe he would have some insight as to why we had had roles bestowed upon us. We could tell he was surprised, when he opened the door we watched his eyes widen; it was a nice change from the boring stoic expression he always seemed to wear. Stepping aside he silently let the two girls enter. It was obvious he had not wanted them to as they were openly connected with the resistance. I found myself at one of the windows staring out across neutral land. It was strange looking out into this environment I had grown up in many times without a face. The colors seemed bolder somehow as if they took in actual meaning. Nightmare had awakened something in us, he had the power to let us see and feel, actually feel. It was both fascinating and scary.
"It's an odd thing" Lila said stepping up beside me causing me to peel my eyes away from the sky.
"I never knew it was that blue" I said Lila looked at me and gasped.
"Another weird thing" she said her voice changing pitches. It was the first time I actually listened to the tones of her voice, she sounded innocent when we were all far from it.
"What am I…feeling?" Lila looked at me then towards the Watchmaker. "Oh and this feeling too" she took a step towards him her hand flying up to her chest as she stared at the watchmaker for answers. Her face then lit up. Happiness, she was getting flooded with emotions. I looked down at my hands. What exactly was I feeling? Was I even feeling; it didn't feel like it at all. When was it my turn to feel? Lila was getting overwhelmed and yet here I stood stoically staring at the girl as she bounced around happily. Then a thought sparked in my mind. Jealousy. The thought was as fleeting as a deer and I felt my brows furrow in concentration. I wanted that feeling back, it was one of the more tangible, just so I could prove to myself that I could feel too.
"Well…nothing to say Watchmaker?" I said hearing my own voice fluctuate as I spoke. Was my voice harsher than Lila's? Had I experienced emotion when saying that as well? If this was what having emotion entailed, I didn't want it and would gladly give it back to the Caterpillar. Here we were intruding on the Watchmaker in his own tower, something we would have never done when we were normal; faceless.
"It's normal to be overwhelmed at first" he said sitting down at his workbench and grabbing a broken clock. "It gets easier just give it time" That seemed to be the only thing he wanted to say to us. Lila looked at me and shrugged not sure what to do with herself. I had no inclination as of what we should do either.
"Shouldn't we have…you know jobs or something? Like you do?" Lila looked at the Watchmaker confusion displayed across her flawless features. The Watchmaker looked up at her then discarding his work to turn towards us in thought.
"Nightmare said nothing of your creation and I assume he had said nothing of what you should do with yourselves?" he asked looking the pair over. Lila shook her head and I followed her lead trying to copy what she displayed in her features. Maybe if I copied I would feel that particular emotion too. It was a fruitless effort and I found my face relaxing into its natural stoic expression. It was clear I would not be feeling anything at the moment so I leaned against the wall. Perhaps if I waited long enough I would feel a small inkling of a feeling. At that thought I felt a wave of warmth flow through my veins heating my features. I had no idea what this feeling was but it tunneled my vision momentarily before I returned to the oblivion of nothingness.
"Can you make tea?" the Watchmaker asked assessing us. Our shared glance seemed to make him uncomfortable.
"Before the rebellion…we were servants, so yes we can make tea" Lila spoke to him in her perfect voice, her perfect voice full of emotion. I felt a momentary pain of the emotion of jealousy again and took a small comfort in the familiarity of it.
"Then you may stay here as long as it pleases you, this is neutral territory after all. All I ask is that you don't interfere with my work" his voice took on a steely edge as he eyed the girls. Lila nodded in agreement looking eager to have a place to stay. Since we were role holders we were no longer expected to stay in the faceless villages. We were no longer welcome there. The Watchmaker turned towards me waiting for my answer. It was always known amongst Dimca and I that Lila had not wanted to be part of the rebellion. She was always one to follow the rules and felt like a murderer when destroying the clocks rather than turning them into the Watchmaker's tower. She only swore in because she didn't want to be left alone, she chose to follow Dimca just as I had. Though I followed for an entirely different reason; the life of a faceless was becoming less desirable and I hated being reborn every time I was killed. Though we don't retain our memories from past lives it still haunted me, just how many times was my clock repaired for me to spend another lifetime serving role holders and trying to cling to something that wasn't there?
I looked at the Watchmaker and without voicing my answer I gave a nod of the head. That seemed to satisfy him enough and he turned back to repair the watch he had grabbed. I turned my attention to Lila who looked as…giddy? Happy? As could be. Again I felt the pang of jealousy. At least I had one emotion I could rely on to show me this was all real. I was an actual role holder.