Gone, Gone, Gone

Intro: After the 7th season, some parts of the 8th are included as well.

Meredith was on her way home, with Zola in her arms, but then realises that walking away won't be any help at all. She looks in Zola's face and is angry with everybody, Richard, Ellis, Owen, Derek, Alex, Izzie, George, Christina and herself. Especially Derek, how could he be so careless, leaving and risking to loose Zola, their baby-girl. She doesn't want to be like Derek, she turns around towards the entry-hall and Janet, who she is pretty sure, will take Zola away.

After leaving a crying Zola in Janet's arms, Meredith feels restless, unsure about where to go. She can't go home, where the whole house is covered in Zola's stuff, she can't work because she just was fired, she can't soak reassurance in Derek's arms because he left her, her and Zola. She doesn't know what to do and starts running towards the roof of the hotel. On her way there she passes Webber's office, startled by Alex loud voice, she stops for a while to listen to their conversation, she hears Alex offering to lie for her and that Richard has the whole day been trying to get a job for her. Still she can't forgive them, even if they had their reasons and in a way did the correct thing. Trying not to cry she listens, she leans in the room, through the crack of the door, when suddenly Alex turns towards her and sees her.

She starts running, running faster and faster, people are watching her, talking about her, Zola, the lost job, Adele, and she just wants to be far away. Suddenly she is on the roof, crying, during to get her fast beating heart to slow down. She can't breath, it doesn't even matter to her, there isn't anything to keep breathing for, nobody. Christina is on her way to start her own family, even if she doesn't know it yet, but after seeing her with Zola, Meredith is sure.

She slowly sinks to the ground staring into the distance, watching the sun go down, whishing for George and Izzie to be there. Why did she have to loose so many people, she doesn't want to loose further people. She hides her teary face in her knees.

Alex doesn't know what to do; he was a part of the reason why Meredith lost her job, her future. After his talk to Richard feels a little bit better, at least there is an other person, who believes in Meredith and fighting for her. He had seen Meredith rush past the office after listening in, but is sure that he would be the last person she would like to see. Therefore he starts his search for Derek or Christina to go after her. During his way, it comes to his knowledge that Derek has stopped talking to Meredith and that Janet has taken Zola away.

He doesn't think about how angry Meredith is with her, he just wants to help her. The person, who has been his first friend in Seattle, the person, who never left his side, no matter what he did. The person he even had a little crush on in the first few months.

He sees her shaking shoulders, doesn't need to ask whether she is crying, he has seen it often enough. But never was he the reason for her tears, it makes him feel sad and angry with himself. He steps closer to her sits down besides her, leaning back against the banister - an invitation to use his shoulder to cry into, or as a punching bag.

She turns, looks at him with cold, but still sad eyes and starts blubbering. "Why am I not enough to get people to stay; am I a bad person, why, I don't understand it?" "No, Mer, I am the bad person, not you. You just wanted to safe a person, it might have not been the right way, but the right sentiment. And you are enough and so much more, you are a good friend, you got me to open up, you are family person, you forgave your father and let your sister live with you, you are a promising surgeon and a good mom, Zola loves you and you are gonna get her back, I promise you… Shall I continue, I am sure I can go on for a while, or is this enough? And if the board of the Seattle Grace hospital and Derek are too stupid to recognize this, screw them. I mean it, I know you love Derek, but he has been an asshole. Every few years he decides that he put you down to make himself feel better and higher on a podest."

Meredith starts smiling through her tears and looks into Alex eyes – "I am sorry, I was angry with you, I know you didn't do anything wrong, I am angry with myself and the whole world right now." They just sit there, looking at the horizon, Alex grabs Meredith's hand, and they are content just sitting there, doing nothing.

After a while Alex gets up and Meredith follows suit…