Triumphant come back? Maybe. XD I just had this idea and it wouldn't get out of my head if I did not write it down. I'm not sure I'll be continuing it... I do want to, but I've got a lot on my plate at the moment, so... Maybe in the future? If you're interested let me know and I'll try to speed up the process, just know that if I DO continue, the rating WILL go up. Perhaps not immediately, but eventually for sure. ;P

Starting pairings: 1xR, 3x4(one sided), OCx3(onesided), 2x?, 5x?

Future pairings: 1x4, 3xR, 2x5

Warning: Secondary character death and OOCness (maybe? I do try to keep everyone in character...)

The Hidden Loophole

CHAPTER 1

"What did I just say?! Don't get any closer!" Quatre shouted. He could hear his heart beating fast, his arteries pumping blood into his hands. The hands that were controlling Wing Zero. He wiped out half the upper body of Trowa's mobile suit with one beam cannon shot. It was only by sheer luck that Trowa was not wiped out himself.

"Quatre… What's going on?" Trowa's voice sounded shocked, confused and…disappointed. At that moment Quatre had not paid much mind to it. All he had wanted was to destroy the entire outer space, destroy the colonies that had deserted them and killed his father. Now, when he revived that moment, he had a different perspective.

"Trowa, outer space has gone mad so I'll destroy it all. I must destroy all the weapons that have accumulated here. The colonies are becoming armed, right? That's why the colonies must also be destroyed!" he felt oddly calm as he tried to make his fellow gundam pilot see reason. It was a calm he had never felt before, a sense of purpose that was as scary as it was fulfilling.

"What's the matter, Quatre?" Trowa paused, cringing in pain. Quatre had barely noticed, but now it made him want to cry. To think he had hurt someone he cared so much about… " This isn't like you."

"Tell the others for me. Tell them to stay away. Otherwise…I'll kill them."

His monitor started beeping, announcing the arrival of a second enemy, but the beeping just would not stop. That was not right. He had had that dream countless times before and that was not how it was supposed to go…

He opened his eyes to find himself back in his dark bedroom in the penthouse apartment he owned in L4. The dream had been interrupted before the worst part, if it had not Quatre would have woken up drenched and screaming. Turning to the bedside table he spotted his ringing saviour beside an alarm clock that read 3:12 AM. He reached for the receiver, holding it close to his ear as he answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Quatre? This is your sister Aminah. I'm calling about Iria… There's been an accident."

"Aminah, what happened? What about the baby?"

"The baby's alright, Quatre. It's a girl. She's a little premature, but strong and healthy. They have her in paediatric ICU for now, but she should be fine." Aminah's voice was calm and even despite the direness of the situation, but Quatre would not have expected less from his eldest sister. He was about to ask her about Iria when she beat him to it. "We'll talk more when you get here. We're at the Zayeed Winner Memorial Hospital."

"I should be there in fifteen minutes."

"I'll be waiting." Was all Aminah said before she hung up.

He jumped out of bed and rushed into the huge closet pulling on the first pair of slacks he came across and a random T-shirt. There was no need or point in worrying about appearances when one was driving to a hospital at 3 in the morning. 3 in the morning… What had his eight months pregnant sister been doing out at that hour? Aminah would not give him any explanations through the phone so he was forced to wait until he was at the hospital before getting his answers.

Quatre drove like a mad man through the – thankfully empty – streets of L4. One of the biggest advantages of living in a colony was that everything was nearby and you could get from one extreme of the colony to the other in a matter of a couple of hours depending on traffic. It took him less than the stipulated fifteen minutes to arrive at the hospital, built and directed by his own family, and make his way to the third floor where the operating rooms were located. He found Aminah sitting near the reception desk surrounded by other 3 of his sisters. They all turned to him with expecting gazes when they heard the sound of the elevator, but the expressions soon turned into relief and a bit of disappointment. Quatre could see that they were expecting news and those could either be good or bad.

Aminah stood up to greet him. They were not very intimate, but she gave him a hug anyways and he could feel the tears spilling out of his eyes as he hugged her back. No one dared break the silence. She had not told him anything yet, but the feeling of hopelessness that hung in the air spoke volumes to him. When he pulled away he could see Aminah had tears in her eyes too.

"She was going home after having dinner at my house. We insisted she should stay the night but she said she had to be at work early in the morning and she did not want to disturb us… It was a drunk driver, Quatre. He did not stop at the red light." Aminah told him with a guilty tone. "We should have made her stay."

"It's not your fault, Aminah. No one could have predicted something like this." He held her by the shoulders and stared deep into her eyes – the same colour as his own – as he reassured her. "Where is your husband?"

"He had to stay home and look after the kids…"

One of his other sisters started to weep then. "Who will look after Iria's baby if she's gone?" she asked in a constricted voice while her other sisters whispered soothing words and patted her back in an attempt to calm her.

Before he knew what was happening Quatre blurted out. "I want to keep her." Iria was the sister he was closest to and when she had decided to become a single mother she had asked him – since he was the only man left in the Winner family, excluding those that had joined by marriage – if he would agree to become some sort of male model figure in her child's life. He had said 'yes' then, he was saying 'yes' now. "I'm going to call her Khadija."

None of his sisters could say 'no' to that. Most of them already had their own families, but Iria was all Quatre had. His friends – his adoptive family – were all far away and when Iria died… His eyes filled with tears at that. It was true. He knew it in his heart. Iria's death was no longer a matter of 'if' but 'when'. Though no one had had the courage to say anything yet, they all knew. When Iria died he would be alone. In a few minutes or maybe in a few hours, he would be alone.

OxOxO

When the fateful news finally arrived it was almost six o'clock. The doctor asked them if they wanted to see her. Quatre did not. He wanted to remember Iria as he had last seen her, a couple days before, full of life with sparkling eyes and a smile on her face. Instead he headed to the paediatric ICU to see his brand new niece, Khadija, for the first time. They allowed him to see her only through the glass, she would be staying there for at least a few more hours until they had made sure her vitals were all stable. He smiled at the small pink bundle a nurse had told him was Khadija Winner, soon they would meet in person.

Standing there at the PICU, he almost lost track of time. It was 6:30 when he returned to the reception to make a phone call. He called Trowa Barton, the man he had been in love with for nearing 10 years now. Quatre had confessed his feelings to the other man in 195 AC at the end of the war, but even though they had not been reciprocated, in his heart he had been unable to let Trowa go.

They all arrived safely at MO-2 after waiting for Heero and Wing Zero to catch up with them. Earth was safe and so were the colonies. The war was over and they felt at peace at least for the moment. Quatre could feel their five hearts beating together in a rhythm that was all their own. When he opened the hatch of his mobile suit he heard clapping. The entire crew had gathered at the mobile suit hangar to receive their heroes. He smiled, but it was short lived for soon the bloodloss from the puncture wound in his left side – a courtesy of Dorothy Catalonia – coupled with the decrease in adrenaline now that the battle was finally over sent him spiralling into darkness.

He woke up 26 hours later in a hospital bed. All his friends had been there and Duo had been happy to announce that they had put the party on hold for him. Quatre had smiled genuinely at him, but it was Trowa his eyes sought. He had looked tired, but relieved and immediately returned the blonde's smile with one of his own. Wufei had given him a nod as if saying 'you fought bravely' and Heero had told him he should have been more careful in the same detached monotone he always used. Quatre did not think he knew they shared some sort of connection and that he could feel Heero's relief just as he could see it in Trowa's face.

Soon, they were all gone, all but Trowa whose body seemed unwilling to move from the sterilized white couch where he sat. "Trowa?" he had called the boy softly still feeling somewhat weak. Trowa's gentle green eyes met his. "What are you going to do now that the war is over?"

Quatre watched as he let out a deep breath. "I don't know. Go back home to the circus, I suppose. Catherine will be waiting."

He looked away suddenly, feeling sad and empty. What if they never saw each other again? Never even talked? He did not want to part. "Would you consider coming with me back to L4?" Trowa blinked up at him in surprise and Quatre felt the need to explain. "You know I care a lot about you…"

"I care about you too. You're my friend."

"No, Trowa, what I mean is…" he forced himself to meet the green eyes again. The heart monitor was beeping faster and faster and the Heavyarms' pilot suddenly looked worried. "I think I love you."

Quatre saw Trowa's eyes widen, but he overcame the surprise soon enough, frowning somewhat sadly as if anticipating the pain he would cause them both. At the moment, Quatre had been too distracted trying to catch his breath and slow his heart to correctly interpret that look. He had held on to hope until the very last second.

"I'm sorry. I can't. I love you as a friend, but I don't really like men that way." He must have seen the confused and heartbroken look on Quatre's face for once again he apologized.

Quatre had shaken his head then, smiling through his tears. Trowa had made what seemed like a great effort to regain his feet and had walked over to the bed to give his friend a hug. In Trowa's arms he had cried himself to sleep.

"Hey." Trowa picked up, having recognised the caller ID.

"Hey, Trowa." He answered, letting the familiarity of the other's voice bring a weary smile to his lips. "Can you talk? Is it a bad time?"

"I can talk. What's going on?"

"Trowa, it's… It's Iria… She's…" Quatre swallowed back his tears, recomposing himself. "It was a car crash. She didn't make it."

There was silence in the other end of the line and for a moment he regretted not having activated the visual, but it was a hospital so he had to keep it down. Maybe it was better this way, he did not think he would be able to hold back his tears if he were looking in his friend's eyes. "God, Quatre…" was all Trowa could come up with.

"I know." For some reason he chuckled as a few tears managed to escape from the corners of his eyes and slide down his cheeks. "You remember she was expecting a baby?"

"I think you mentioned something about artificial insemination last time we spoke…"

"She wasn't even pregnant yet? Has it really been that long since we last spoke?"

It had. Quatre remembered how things had been right after the wars… They used to trade daily e-mails and call each other at least once a week. Duo, who was the most talkative one out of the five of them, would call him practically every day, but then time had started passing and 'every day' turned into 'every week' then 'every fortnight' and 'every month' until they only called or wrote when there was something important to talk about. Wufei, who he was the least close to, was the first to lose contact, then it had been Heero. Trowa continued to write somewhat regularly and Duo continued to call, but things just were not the same anymore.

"Looks like it has."

"She had a baby, Trowa. A girl. I'll be taking care of her now."

"What about your sisters?" he sounded somewhat concerned. "Are you really going to do this on your own?"

"I want to." Quatre whispered back. He truly did want to do this. He wanted to treasure that little miracle Iria had left behind and make sure he kept his sister's memory alive somehow. Besides it would be nice to love someone who loved him back for once… "I'm not sure why I called you…" he continued after some time. Trowa's ability to respect his silence had always been something he had loved in the man. "I guess that with all that just happened I felt the need to talk to you, guys, and see you again before it is too late… How are you? And how are Heero? And Relena?"

After the wars, Trowa had returned to the circus as he had told Quatre he would and his sister Catherine had incentivized him to go back to school. He had done so and, at some point, had decided to go to college to study veterinary medicine. It did not surprise anyone, considering the quiet pilot 03 had always had a special connection with the members of other species. His salary from the circus had not been enough to pay for tuition though, so Heero or rather Relena had offered him a position as her second personal bodyguard and thus he had moved to Earth where he had been sharing an apartment with Heero ever since.

"We are all fine." He said simply not wanting to discuss personal matters over the phone. "Would you like us to come over?"

"Maybe in a couple of weeks when I have taken Khadija home and gotten her settled. Could you invite Duo and Wufei too? I think I should be able to make room for all of you in my penthouse… Then maybe you could stay for a week, perhaps longer…" Quatre had to fight back tears again. Suddenly, it felt like all the loneliness of the last few years had caught up with him. Without noticing he had built this huge snowball and now it was threatening to bring him down with it.

"I'll see what I can do." Trowa's determined voice cut through his thoughts.

"Thank you, Trowa. I have to go now. I should be with my sisters…"

"Take care."

"You too."

Quatre took a deep breath, strengthening himself for the ordeal that was about to come, and made his way back to his sisters.

OxOxO

Trowa reached for the knob, but froze. Once he would have walked into Heero's bedroom without as much as a second thought, but after the former pilot 01 and Relena had gotten together they rarely slept apart. He could still remember catching the two of them in a not only compromising, but extremely embarrassing position on a certain Sunday morning… It was a mistake he was not willing to make again. So he stopped and knocked.

"Come in." Relena's cheerful tone had barely reached him before he was pushing the door open. "We're almost done." She told him with a smile as she sat on the edge of the bed putting her earrings on.

They would be catching a shuttle to L4 in exactly two hours and a half, but the recommendation was that they should arrive at the spaceport at least 2 hours earlier to be able to check in with tranquillity and, even though they did not have a lot to check in since they were scheduled to stay at Quatre's only for one week, none of them liked to be late. It was a trait the three of them shared.

"Is there time for breakfast?" Relena wondered turning to Heero who was zipping and locking their bags.

"There'll be plenty of time for us to eat something at the spaceport." He retorted picking up the luggage and heading for the door. Trowa took one of the bags from him, his own already in the trunk of Heero's car. Relena followed, closing and locking the door behind them as they made it to the elevator.

"Will Duo and Wufei be coming as well?" she questioned as the door slid shut.

"Duo said he wouldn't miss it for the world." Trowa answered knowing their braided friend's words to be true. Duo and Quatre had always been close maybe because they were the more talkative ones in their little group or perhaps the less fucked up ones? No, that sounded unfair somehow… They had all had their issues settling in after the wars, but Heero, Wufei and himself had also managed to find their place. Whether it was the right place or not was a moot point. "Chang was not so sure… He could not give me any details, but I assume he is working on a case."

"He must be." Heero agreed just as the doors slid open. "He's the best Une's got."

They fit the bags in the trunk, Tetris style, as Relena climbed into the back leaving the passenger seat for Trowa. He was not sure how he should feel about it… Ever since she had started coming over regularly, she had been doing her best so he would not feel like the proverbial third wheel. Trowa had become friends with her more easily than expected after starting to work for her, but that did not make him feel less out of place when Heero and Relena were around at the same time. It was not that he resented their relationship or the supposed intrusion in his personal space – the apartment was Heero's anyways – but seeing the two of them together made him yearn for something he had never had.

He had met a girl in college – Kate was her name – and they had quickly become friends. She was beautiful inside and out and he was pretty sure she wasn't completely blind as to his growing feelings for her, still she did not seem at all interested in being more than friends. From time to time though, when it seemed he was finally about to move on, she did something like taking his hand in hers or giving him an unexpected hug and reawakened his hopes. The hand holding incident had been a particularly confusing one he still replayed in his head to that very day… It made him feel like she reciprocated and part of him was convinced her religious conservative parents were the only reason they were not together. Heero had told him clearly that Kate was using him, taking advantage of his shy and often insecure personality, but that hopeful part of Trowa refused to believe it even though the other more logical part of him knew it to be true. Watching Heero and Relena together made him think of Kate, of things he wanted badly but could never have.

"I don't know why Quatre did not invite us himself…" Relena wondered worriedly as they pulled out of the garage.

"He was busy arranging his sister's funeral and settling the baby in." Heero offered.

"I still can't believe he's doing this…" Trowa commented with a frown. He had always felt awkward around children and the last thing he could imagine himself doing was raising one on his own.

"I think I understand why he's doing it…" Relena was staring absent-mindedly out the window.

"I think he feels lonely." Heero shrugged when two pairs of eyes turned to him. "Why else would he have invited all of us at once and to stay for so long?"

"He did sound lonely over the phone." Trowa felt the need to agree.

"I guess we all just assumed he would move on well after the wars… Maybe he didn't after all." Relena sounded guilty and Trowa knew they were thinking pretty much the same thing. It did not matter that they had each followed their own path, they should not have allowed themselves to get so caught up in their own lives to neglect contacting their old friends. "Sometimes I wonder if we have moved on ourselves or if we are still stuck trying to find a loophole." She continued in a whisper, blue-green eyes lost in the passing scenery.

Trowa found himself staring at her out of the corner of his eye. If she were right that would explain why he had dropped out of college unable to fit in and lead on an ordinary and careless life. Was that even an option for the likes of them? He wondered what Heero's opinion was… The Wing pilot had always seemed to be the most unlikely to cope with the ending of the wars and yet there he was working and dating a woman he loved and who loved him back or so Trowa assumed. Heero had outdone himself, apparently, and surpassed all of them in their searches for a place to belong. But was that really it or did he feel like Trowa? He wasn't much more expressive those days than he had been during the wars. With Heero it always felt like you were in the middle of an endless mission, one he simply had to see accomplished no matter how long it took. Maybe that was how he coped, seeing life as a mission rather than a big confusing mess of options and feelings and choices which was the way Trowa saw it. Sometimes he wished for the purpose and confidence he had had during the war, for when it came to everyday life things he was simply too out of his depth.

They arrived at the spaceport in 25 minutes without breaking any traffic laws and it took only 15 minutes to check all of their luggage in. Relena had gotten them 1st class tickets which obviously helped speed up the process as well. Soon they found themselves sitting at a small round table at one of the many expensive cafés waiting for the boarding call. An elderly lady recognised the former queen of the world and approached to shake hands and congratulate her. Relena was always charming and polite, she even took a picture with the woman. She did not mind the attention, in fact she did not get half as much attention as people thought she did. Very few actually recognised her and those who eventually did often thought it was only a lookalike. There was no way someone as important as Queen Relena Peacecraft would be dressed in a simple summer dress having coffee at some random café with two ordinary looking young men. They were not even dressed as bodyguards.

Though Relena had pursued a political career after the wars she did not seem very eager to ascend in it. She had been elected Foreign Minister after working as Vice to fill in for her father, but when they had proposed she run for president of the ESUN she had simply turned them down. It had puzzled Trowa at the time, in fact it still did, but there were a lot of things about her that puzzled him so he did not linger on it.

"Is everything alright?" she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder as she regained her seat. "You've been thoughtful lately."

He frowned slightly and turned to Heero who seemed to watching for his reaction. "How did you…?"

"You're our friend, Trowa. You've been around us for 6 years now."

"Yes, I guess I have." He allowed himself a small half-hearted smile.

"Do you regret dropping out of college?" Heero inquired laying down his cup. It clinked against the saucer.

Trowa gave the question some serious thought, then shook his head. "No. Not really. I guess I'm just wondering how to tell everyone about it, especially Catherine. I should probably pay her a visit while I'm in space."

Relena took the hand he had wrapped around his cup. "We'll be there for you if you need us." She reassured him, seriously. Heero agreed with a nod.

"Thanks." Was all he could say.