Aubergine

Prompts: Vincent. Shera, Regret, Secrets, Affair

Added: Betrayal, Guilt

He wasn't sure when it had started, sometime before he got a phone. There had always been something familiar about Shera, and it wasn't until his second meeting that he was able to place it.

"Are you related to Lucrecia Crescent?" he asked only to watch Cid's face change and drop.

"She's my sister, how do you know her?" she questioned back full of skepticism. Vincent couldn't tell if the look on Cid's face was terror or anger, but it was enough to make him curb his tongue. "She worked with my father," he stated simply, watching her recoil.

"I'm sorry," was her response before she walked out of the room. Finally, Cid spoke to end the confusion.

"She was the baby ya' know," he remarked to Vincent, whom felt a pang of guilt. All I did was watch when I should have stopped it, he thought. "She knows Lucrecia left but not where she went, yet, I plan on telling her, but you can't let her know the extent of you and her, at least not yet," he explained further. His behavior peaked Vincent's curiosity. It was less than a month ago that he was screaming at her to make that 'god damn tea'. However the realization that she saved his life had softened him more so than Vincent had expected.

"She's going to know who I am eventually," Vincent relayed.

"I know, but she's going to need time to process everything. I know her and it will be too much to tell her everything at once," She never did find out how much Vincent had loved her sister. No, he couldn't relay that to her, especially after that first time. She was smart, if she knew that she would know his motives.

Cid should have know better- told him to stay away from his wife, but he didn't. He should have known that he would turn to Shera for comfort and she would accept that like she accepted everything. The blame for the failed launch, the corporeal loss of her sister, the change in Cid's behavior and the proposal that followed. Vincent should have known better, he thought he did, but each time he swore to himself that it wouldn't happen again, but it always did. Everytime he saw Shera he was reminded of her. They had the same soft brown hair, the same gentle eyes, and the same soft, pale skin. It wasn't love, or even lust, it was simply comfort. He took comfort in the similarities, between them in her experiences and the parallels. He was the one that instigated it, that started the whole sordid affair. Each time she'd sit there with a cigarette in her hand staring off into nothing and Vincent knew that she was thinking about Cid and how she had betrayed him. Vincent felt the same pang of regret for betraying his friend, but it was never enough to stop the affair.

They'd sit at the bar with Reeve and Cloud and Vincent would often wonder if he knew, and what he would do if he did. He had seen how violent his temper could become and mused on whether or not his actions endangered her safety. Everything had a domino effect. How long could he hide it? How long could she?

He recalled the first time. Cid had been away and asked him to check in on her and he obliged. At first, he wasn't sure why he did but looking back, he knew. She offered him a bottle of water, and he looked at her with her arm outstretched. Vincent couldn't hear her talking, all he could hear was blood rushing through his veins, his heart pounding. He kissed her, she let him, dropping the bottle to the floor.

Then came the time that Cid raged about the Geostigma, feverishly working on his new airship to help the pandemic.

"And Shera, fucking Shera contracted the Stigma. Shera, who's never hurt anybody, doesn't have a mean bone in her body, puts up with so much shit from me 'n everyone else, and she's the fucking one to get sick. It should have been me," he rampaged. Another pang of guilt and regret shot through Vincent. He wanted nothing more than to scream at Cid "It's my fault, I'm sleeping with your wife and I'm the reason she contracted GeoStigma, it's my fault," and take his punishment, but he refrained, not wanting to complicate their relationship beyond repair. It wasn't love or affection, why should he be the cause of their separation? Soul wrought of Terra Corrupt, it wasn't his sin anymore. She carried it too, a punishment for her involvement. Everything in his wake was turning to fire and ash. Was this what Lucrecia wanted? Selfish desires destroying her baby sister, compounding the guilt on his shoulders, furthering him from Redemption. What would it take for the destruction to stop? When he saw her next, she openly accepted that she deserved the Stigma for what she done, and it felt like another knife in Vincent's chest.

Then the fountain erupted in Aerith's church, holy water, healing water. Redemption for Shera. Cid had eagerly dragged her straight from bed, still in her pajamas and yellow fingerless gloves that hid her affliction. Vincent watched them jump in the pool together and the realization dawned, that Cid did indeed love her. He wiped the water from her face, pulled off her gloves and kissed her, and it added to the guilt that weighed on Vincent.

"They're so adorable and in love! I wonder when they're going to start having babies!" Tifa had remarked. Vincent didn't respond, walking away instead. Chaos and destruction followed him everywhere. He knew he needed to learn when to walk away, when to stay and when to stop. He had tried, tried to stay away to avoid all of them, but their lives were interwoven in an aspect that would continue to follow him.

"Shera worries about you, and you know how she gets," the Captain had told him. How was he supposed to respond to that? Was it worry? Or something else entirely? Often he wondered what he meant to Shera and what she saw in him, what kept her interest.

Eventually he did come to genuinely care for her, but in a way he hadn't with others before, and while he couldn't explain it, he knew it had to do with her connection to Lucrecia. He was curious if she had similar reasoning, but never asked. He never spent the night, and she never asked him too. Their conversations were minimal, but deep nonetheless.

"What was my sister like before...hojo?" she asked one night, cigarette in hand. He had once asked Cid if Shera smoked and he had told him 'only under stress and after sex'. Vincent wondered which was her reasoning, or if it was both.

"She was like you," he responded and they both fell into silence, a long pause with only the sound of the wind in the night.

"I was still a toddler when she went to work for Shinra," she finally said, smashing out the cigarette, and tying up her hair with that yellow ribbon. Just like the one she wore, only smaller.

"She always wore a yellow ribbon in her hair," he told her. Shera smiled back.

"I know. She always did, we both grew up wearing yellow ribbons, and it stuck with both of us," she admitted. "She also loved picnics. Our last picnic she was pregnant..." trailing off, She lit another cigarette. Vincent could see it was just as painful for her, another thing they shared. Yellow ribbons, red heels and lab coats, they shared so much more than just their appearance. Habits, phrases mannerisms, but they differed. Lucrecia drank coffee, Shera preferred tea. Those differences allowed him to distance himself, while the similarities pulled at the humanity he had left. Humanity was just as much of a curse as Chaos and he often wondered if he'd be better off void of all emotion, rather than just being cold.

When Chaos returned to the planet, more of his humanity returned and even then he tried, but couldn't stay away. Even as he approached the house he kept telling himself to turn around, go elsewhere, find a prostitute, anything but further corrupting Shera and her marriage.

She was intuitive and immediately noticed he had changed and inquired about it.

"You're more human now," she remarked, the knife feeling hot in his chest. Everything cut deeper now. He needed better resolve. He swore that time would be the last, and he stuck to it. Remembering each instance of betrayal, each sin, he was able to curb himself, control himself. She never asked him why he stopped, never did she try to instigate anything and she stopped bringing up Lucrecia entirely. He knew he had killed a piece of her soul with the secret they shared, and the gravity of his sins hit him like a truck. It hurt to see Shera and Cid and Cid's friendly behavior made it all worse. He just wanted to be punished for what he did, and even after 100 years passed and he was left with only the memories. No one was left to punish him, instead he punished himself, sitting in Lucrecia's cave with Shera's yellow ribbon and the memory of her soft skin, her willing lips and gentle caress, the one he craved from her.

He finally confessed his crime to Red, when it was only the two of them left. He was left speechless until he asked what actual harm he caused. Aside from the stigma that was cured, no one was hurt. Shera took their clandestine relationship to the grave with her, leaving Vincent the Highwind and The Shera to help others when needed. Both he kept side by side in the hanger, a memorial to the Chaos he brought to their lives.

Her skin felt like velvet against his lips, his cheek, he longed to feel it without his gloves, but Vincent knew he wasn't worthy, he didn't even deserve what she let him do. Arms around him, she began to pull off his red cape while he pulled off her lab coat, and then her hideous golden sweater. She was shorter than Lucrecia, and heavier, but he didn't care, their other similarities were overwhelming enough, and incited his fall from grace. He refused to let her undress him, strip his body of the armor that hid the scars of his torture, he didn't want any more questions or for her lips to embrace his horrors, all he wanted was to take comfort in her body, not for her to explore his. Shera let him. She let him lead, followed and mirrored him carefully, kept her arms around him, made him feel loved. He'd take her, and her lips would embrace his cheek with a breathy sigh that only further reminded him of her and when he was spent she'd pull him close, cradle him against her warmth. Vincent would kiss her chest, and she'd apologize for leading him on. He'd ignore it and remind her that he started it. Shera'd light a cigarette and stare off, occasionally breaking to ask him a question before finishing her cigarette and dressing herself again. As awful as his guilt felt, he looked at the memories fondly, knowing that Shera cared like Lucrecia had, then it would spiral back into guilt knowing he had only transposed his feelings for Lucrecia onto her sister.

She had been a beautiful person, a light in the lives of many, much like Lucrecia had been to him and even with all his guilt, he never came to regret the moments that he had with Shera. Despite his betrayal, his secrets and hers. Regret was a wasted emotion and there was no room for it, guilt had taken up residence and it's weight was far to heavy to incorporate anything else. Over time he would learn guilt had the same place as regret, and was nothing more than a mental torment and a waste. With time there would be nothing left but the fondness of the memory of her touch and the painful sweet sound of her voice, in sync with Lucrecia whispering,

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm not," he replied, wishing for three words he knew he'd never hear.

Authors extensive note: this was the most bizarre organic prompt pull I've ever gotten. I was going to put it back, but the more I thought on it, the more I thought I could make it plausible, however it's one of those kinds of pairings that has to be done well in order to work and I'm not sure I have the skill yet, but I made an effort. All I ask is that if you post this to a bad fanfic site/tumblr please let me know, I'll enjoy the laugh. Not gonna try to defend this one, like I said, it came from a prompt box- and I use a handwritten prompt box- no joke. So I made Lucrecia and Shera sisters- they'd be close to 30 years apart which is uncommon but does happen. You can find me on tumblr as michellekellyff and the ask box is open. I hate myself for writing this, but it was the prompts. I know it's not too smutty, but fanfiction here only allows M rated fanfics and I've had fics reported lately so I don't want to break the rules. I'd really like some feedback on this one. XOXO MK