Panic! At the Firehouse
by Erin Griffin
Fandom: Ghostbusters (2016)
Pairing: Patty Tolan/Julian Holtzmann (Toltzmann)
Summary: Though the battle in Manhattan is over, it still comes back to Holtzmann in an unexpected way.
It didn't happen to Julian often. At least, not since she was in high school, but high school sucked and she figured this was why the panic attacks happened so often. She used to know somewhat exactly what had triggered these attacks, but this time Holtzmann was working on her spectre containment feild when her chest felt a little tight. Her hands shook to the moment where she could no longer hold her screwdriver. She barely heard the screwdriver clatter onto her project and then roll to the floor. She clung to the side of her work station as she tried to catch her breath. She slowly sat down, crossed her legs and took off her goggles. Holtzmann pressed her palm to her eyes and began to rock slowly, one of the coping mechanisms she used in high school that helped. When, five minutes later, she couldn't breathe, she began banging on the side of her work station, hoping Kevin or Patty (the only ones around since Abby and Erin went on a short vacation after they had averted a ghosty apocolypse and were almost sucked into the underworld).
"Holtz? Do you know that it is ONE IN THE AM!? I wasjust getting into my book when-" Patty stopped talking when she saw the state Julian was in. She rushed to her friend's side and placed a hand on her back. "What can I do? What do you need baby?" Julian gasped for air, her eyes wide, and Patty stood again and ran to her room again, shuffling around until she found what she was looking for. She saw her friend in the same state upon arrival, and she handed over the item in her hand, an emergency inhaler she hadn't needed to use but kept around just in case. "Two puffs in, hold for five breathe out."
Julian did as she was told, setting the goggles to her side. Patty's hand was on her back, rubbing soothing circles. She could breathe a little easier but her hands still shook. "This... hasn't happened for so long," she said after a few minutes.
"What happened?"
"Panic attack. Never had em since high school. I don't- I don't understand."
"Honey, we saved the world - us four against a shit ton'a ghosts. It was a war, and you were a soldier. I know you had fun at the time, but it was bound to catch up with you sooner or later." Patty watched Julian as the blonde's hands calmed. Julian leaned on her then taking in deep breaths. "Get some rest," Patty said. There was no answer at first. Patty then sighed and stood. "Come on, Holtzy. Get up."
Julian reached for the top of her work space and used that to haul herself up. She shut her eyes tightly and sighed a shuddered breath. "Thanks," was all she got out after a beat.
Patty hummed, and then grabbed Julian's hand, wrapped the engineer's arm around her shoulder and picked up her friend. There was a short surprised squeak from Julian, but it was otherwise quiet as Patty walked into the den. She gently lowered Julian onto the couch and grabbed the blanket drapped over the back and spread it over her friend.
When Patty left again, Julian listened for movement in the kitchen area. A moment later, a glass of orange juice was set before her, along with a small box of funsized Nerds. "Still don't know why you like these together, but here." Patty said. She sat next to Julian as she picked up the remote and turned the TV onto Adult Swim. It was an old episode of Julian's favorite show of the moment, but when Patty saw the smile on her friend's face she kept it on that channel. As Patty leaned back, Julian rested her head on her shoulder, and Patty smiled. If Julian stopped chasing after Erin for a second she would see the way Patty looked at her a little too long or let her touches linger. Patty was used to people seeing past her, but it didn't stop the affection she couldn't help but feel for Julian Holtzmann.
"Thank you," Julian said again when the commercial break started. Patty smiled again but stayed quiet. "I haven't had one of those since high school," Julian murmured. Patty nodded to this, and looked over to her friend. "I don't know why they still scare me," she admitted.
"But you got us now, Holtzy. We got your back," Patty said. Their eyes finally connected.
"You've got my back," Julian said softly. "You saved me. Did I ever thank you for that?"
"You didn't need to," Patty replied.
placed a hand on her stomach, sure the new stirrings there had nothing to