Author's Note: This Harley is supposed to be classic Harley from Batman The Animated Series (BTAS) and is based more on the cartoons and video games than the comics.

Disclaimer: These characters belong to DC, Marvel, Warner Brothers, Disney, and Dark Horse. I don't own these characters, but sometimes I wish I did!

I'm also calling this an AU story.

Dr. Harleen Quinzel looked at her watch.

12:00...I have an hour before I see more patients.

Discreetly, she pulled out a little black book and began reading over its contents.

Wow, you wouldn't believe what happened to me today. It was like any other day, but then the world kinda turned to liquid. Then, everything slowed down to a grinding halt. I saw the Flash; yeah, that's right, the Flash. He ran right past me, like he was in a huge hurry to get somewhere, passed right through the wall. That woulda been weird enough, but, as my luck would have it, that was only the beginning. Things got really slow. It was like I was in a slow motion movie or something. I tried to convince myself everything was normal, so I decided to try ta clean up. That's when I noticed the closet door was open, but it was really dark inside, so I walked in to find a light switch, but..nothing...nothing but a black hole, and I fell through it!

That's right. I fell through a black hole in my closet! Let me repeat that...a black hole in my closet!

I'm neva gonna be able ta explain this to B-man; there's no way he'd believe me. He already thinks I'm crazy as is!

When I got back from my "trip," I found myself in a dumpster with this guy on screen screaming...

As Harley continued to read the contents of the diary, she began to have a flashback. It was all like it happened yesterday.

Harley pulled herself out of the dumpster and took a banana peel off of her head.

"Spiderman is a menace!" the screen of a huge jumbo-tron shouted.

"What?" Harley asked.

As if the machine knew she was talking, it replied, "Spiderman is a reckless vigilante who should be behind bars!"

Harley began thinking, "Spiderman...Spiderman...where do I remember that name from?"

Realization dawned on her and it began to set in how weird this all was. Spiderman was a superhero from another dimension-there were comic books about him in her universe!

Shocked, Harley dove back into the dumpster. She then lost her footing and rolled out and on to the hard concrete.

She dusted herself off and hid in a nearby alley.

"I could say this is weird, but that would be an understatement," Harley declared to no one in particular.

Once she regained her composure, and pulled out another outfit from her travel bag, she decided to come out of the ally.

She took a deep breath and decided to ask a random kid where she was.

"Oh, you're in New York," the kid replied cheerfully. He had short brown hair and looked a little scrawny. Harley thought she remembered him from somewhere, but she would have to sort that all out later.

Harley gave a sigh of relief. At least she wasn't in outer space or in some weird city whose name she didn't recognize. New York was familiar. They had a New York in her universe, too. She decided to take the first train to Brooklyn, getting help from a random stranger kind enough to scan his bus pass. Maybe she'd get lucky and find familiar territory.

A loud bleep of Harley's watch sounded, drawing her out of her flashback. There was a knock at the door. It was time to see another patient.

"...and I have this huge problem, Dr. Quinzel, because I'm scared to death of spiders, and so I'm also afraid of Spiderma..."

"Let me stop you right there. Spiderman isn't a spider, so you shouldn't be afraid of him," Harley said.

"I...I wish it were that easy..."

Harleen continued to listen as the boy explained his fear of spiders and the man who dressed like one.

She looked at her watch.

5:00...time to go home.

"Okay, wow, I tell you what...at our next session, I'm gonna bring you a spider, a little harmless one, and we'll go from there..." Harley said trying to hold back a yawn. She made a few notes on her pad and tried to look concerned.

Yeesh, all of these people afraid a nothing; they should see what I had ta deal with when I worked with B-man. She smiled a little at the thought.

The little boy hopped off of the therapist's couch and into the lobby. Harley walked to the door to watch before turning back to her office and filing away her notes for her next sessions. She then picked up her little black diary.

Oh well, I guess I can just pick up where I left off. It's nice ta be able ta take a trip down memory lane...

Where was I...oh yeah...speaking a B-man...

Harley dreamily returned to her flashback.

Once Harley got to Brooklyn, things got a little better. A lot of the major places were familiar, and she was able to convince someone to put her up for the night.

She lay down on the couch with a sigh.

You know, it's times like these I wish I could get in touch with B-man.

"Harley!"

"Wow, I must have a really good imagination," Harley whispered.

"Come in, Harley!"

"Wait a minute..." Harley said in low voice.

"Harley!"

Harley reached behind her ear to find a communication device; she blushed with embarrassment like someone was watching.

"Oh, I forgot about that!" Harley said to herself.

"Oh forget it, Bats, she's not picking up,"

"Oh hi-ya B-man, Nightwig," Harley said.

"It's Night-Wing!"

"Harley, where are you? We've lost track of your location," Batman said.

"You were tracking me?" Harley said in mock frustration.

"Don't act like you're surprised," Nightwing said.

"You're supposed to be at your apartment this time of night," Batman said.

"Don't make us put you back on house arrest," Nightwing added.

"Well, see, a funny thing happened..." Harley said.

Harley finished explaining her story. There was silence on the other end when she was finished.

"Hello, B-man; did I lose you?" Harley asked.

"No, I'm still here. Stay there,"

"Kinda don't have a choice,"

"Another dimension? Please tell me this is some kind of joke," Nightwing said.

"It makes sense, really. It explains why the tracker lost her location," Batman said matter-of-factly.

Harley smiled, imagining Bruce keeping a stoic posture and straight face while Dick probably wore a look of alarm or confusion. She knew them well enough from when they used to be enemies, after all. She let out a little giggle at the image in her head.

"What was that for?" Batman's stern suspicious voice asked.

"Oh come on, lighten up, B-man, it's funny; this could only happen ta me, after all," Harley said.

"You wouldn't be laughing if you knew all of the work it was going to take to get you back home," Nightwing said.

"I'll work on the calibration; Harley, stay put for now," Batman said.

"Okay, B-man," Harley said.

With that, the communication link went dead, no dial tone. She didn't really know if they were still listening or not. Carefully, she plucked it from its resting place behind her ear and put it in her purse. Then, she went back to the couch, grabbed a pillow and tried to go to sleep.

"Seriously, where does he think I'm goin? It's not like I have a Deloreon parked out back or anything," Harley thought.