This is my second fanfic dealing with JacoBella.

Only this time it takes place during Eclipse: Chapter 23: Monster: Page 528

Dawn of a New Day

Prologue

They say true love is blind. And maybe some of that is true. But there's one thing that can crash right through that barrier. Okay, two things. Friendship and family. I just can't believe how long it took me to realize that. Though of course, I've never been in love with one person before, let alone two. So how should I know how love works? I guess I'm that naïve. Jacob once said that I lack self-knowledge. He is right. I do. It has taken me far too long to realize just how important he is to me. Now I know he is my whole world. Along with his family and friends, my family and friends.

Chapter 1: Monstrous Decision

"I love you, Bella," he murmured.

"I love you, Jacob," I whispered brokenly.

"Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me, and then come back."

And Jacob misunderstood.

Why wasn't I stopping this? Worse than that, why couldn't I find it in myself even the desire to want to stop? What did it mean that I didn't want him to stop? That my hands clung to his shoulders, and liked that they were wide and strong? That his hands pulled me too tight against his body, and yet it was not tight enough for me?

The questions were stupid, because I knew the answer: I'd been lying to myself.

Jacob was right. He'd been right all along. He was more than just my friend. That's why it was so impossible to tell him goodbye- because I was in love with him. Too. I loved him, much more than I should, but was it enough? Was it enough to change anything? Or was it just enough to hurt us more?

Yes, I decided. Not yes, it was only enough to hurt us more. But yes, it was enough to change anything. He was enough. No, not was. He is enough. For now anyway. For now, he is my whole world. Or at least my own personal space heater/sun.

How long has it been since we were like this? 5 seconds, 20. A minute, an hour. A whole year. I decided it didn't matter. I wanted, needed, to be right here. I could stay like this forever and never let go. Well, not forever and I would have to let go eventually to breathe. We both would. But long enough to become glued to his lips permanently.

There's that word again. Enough. I really need to become unglued right now.

It was like we were one person. His pain was always my pain. Now his joy was my joy. Almost tangible. Like an earthbound sun, he once reminded me of. Whenever someone was in his gravitational pull, Jacob warmed them. Who knew that phrase could be more literal than it let on?

For one brief, never-ending second, an entirely different path expanded behind the lids of my tear-wet eyes. As if I was looking through the filter of Jacob's thoughts. I could see exactly what I would've given up, exactly what this new self-knowledge would save me from losing. I could see Charlie and Renee mixed into a strange collage of Billy and Sam and La Push. I could see years passing, and meaning something as they passed, changing me. I could see the enormous red-brown wolf that I love, always standing as my protector if I needed him. For the tiniest fragment of that second, I saw the bobbing heads of two small, black-haired children, running away into the familiar forest. When they disappeared, they took the vision with them.

And then, quite distinctly, I felt the yearning along the fissure line in my heart for that collage to happen in reality.

Jacob's lips were still before mine. I opened my eyes and saw he was staring at me with wonder and elation.

"I have to leave," he whispered.

"No."

He smiled, pleased by my response. "I won't be long," he promised. "But one thing first."

He bent to kiss me again, only this time I savored it. I tried to hold on to it as best as I could.

This kiss was different. His hands were soft on my face and his warm lips were gentle, unexpectedly hesitant. It was brief and very, very sweet.

His arms curled around me and he hugged me securely while he whispered in my ear.

"That should have been our first kiss. Better late than never."

Against his chest, where he couldn't see, the tears welled up and spilled over.

"I'll be right back." He turned around and started running full tilt for the clearing, already quivering as he prepared to shift to his other self.

Shift. Something I'll never be able to do.

Twenty minutes later I was laying face down on the sleeping bag. Why couldn't an avalanche bury me right here and now? It certainly would save a lot of pain. Not just my pain, but Edward and his family's, too. How could I possibly break it to him that I was wrong and Jacob and him were right? With that being said, how could I tell Jacob goodbye if he wasn't enough? I couldn't even if I wanted to. I couldn't think of anything else in my life right now that isn't more important than Jacob Black. I know I said that before, when the Cullen's were still gone. However, this time he means way more than Edward. And all along I never even thought that was possible. Even Edward was more important to me than my own father. I realize now how selfish that is. Now that I choose life, I don't have to say goodbye to anybody that I love, not even the Cullen's. I have to talk to Jacob about that, but not right now. Now I need to go find Edward and talk to him, finally tell him the truth involving my feelings toward everybody.

As if on cue, without warning, Edward was by my side, stroking my hair. I always loved it when Jacob did that to me when we were embracing. Stop right there, I told myself. You have to focus on Edward. He needs to know that you're not his anymore.

"Love," he whispered. "Are you alright?"

"No. I want to die." That was far from a cry.

"You know I won't let that happen, right? Jacob won't either. Is that what's this is about? You and Jacob."

"Pretty much."

"Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"I just want you to hear this from me and not Seth's head."

"Anything, love."

"Please, stop calling me that!"

"Why not?"

"Because…because I asked Jacob to kiss me." I looked up at him, afraid of what I would see. Surprisingly, he didn't look that hurt, or was he acting again. Ugh, I hate it when he does that. Always masking his feelings. Like when he left me for dead. I continued on. "I realized that…that I-" I can't say it. I don't why. I just can't.

"That you love him," Edward finished for me. Only he said it like it was a well-known fact and not a question.

"More than you. I love him more than I love you. Please, don't be mad at me. He just wanted to feel loved and wanted by me. But the only way for him to feel loved by me was to kiss me. I was just playing along, but the longer we were like that, the more I let my guard down. Then all I could feel was Jacob Black. It felt like he was relinquishing a lifetime of his warmth to me. All I thought about was this universe with Charlie and Renee mixed in with the Pack and La Push, along with two little black haired children. Mine and Jacob's children. I saw everyone else and their kids. It seemed so real and I realized that I wanted that universe in the palm of my hands. It's crazy if you think about it." Then there was silence. Maybe Edward isn't taking this as well as I thought. It's time to face the music. I got off the floor and looked up to see that he was no longer in the tent with me. "Edward?" I shivered and turned to see the zipper open. And that's when I heard eight wolves howling in the distance.

Please let me know what you think. Thank you! Peace!