Kevin Price got off of his bus, clutching a small suitcase to his chest. He didn't want it stolen. Again. As Kevin walked around the small Ugandan village of his mission, bittersweet memories came rushing back. Kevin remembered the first house where he and Elder Cunningham tried to "spread the word of Christ". He saw the tavern that he and his fellow missionaries were told to avoid. It was where the men in the village went to drink.
Finally, Kevin saw the missionary center where he had spent the greatest two years of his life. He could hear laughter from inside the simple hut which, even after all the blasphemy that happened inside, still had a cross over the door. For the first time since he received his invitation to the reunion, Kevin felt uneasy.
"How different will my closest friends be?" He thought "What if none of them wore their missionary outfits too? I mean, the invitation said that we should, but what if they all forgot and I'm the only one who did and-"
His thoughts were interrupted by a hug- a tackle, to be precise.
"Kevin Price! I missed you so much! How has my best friend been?" Kevin struggled under Arnold's hug. "Huh Kevin? Huh?"
Finally Kevin managed to squeak out "please… get off…" Arnold gave one of his infamous shrieks of laughter and helped Kevin up.
"We'll catch up inside, c'mon best friend. Everyone else is here." Arnold said, while dragging poor Kevin by his wrist.
The inside of their old home looked mostly the same, just a bit dustier; there hadn't been anymore missionaries sent here after their group. Everyone was huddled around the dining table. All of them were, thankfully, wearing the proper missionary attire as well. Kevin sat down in his old spot next to his old companion.
"Thanks for finally showing up Elder Price! We thought you bailed out on us!" teased Elder Neeley.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world" I replied with a smile. It was quiet for a moment, and then everyone started talking at once. Kevin couldn't hear himself think. He was responding to questions that probably weren't even addressed towards him. Finally, Arnold spoke up and when Arnold speaks, it's impossible not to hear.
"Guys, please!" Arnold said standing "Let's just take turns saying what we've done these last 5 years. Oh, and before you speak say your first name. We're not 'Elders' anymore. I'll go first. Hello," He started with a grin "my name is Arnold and for the last 5 years I've been here, in Uganda with Nabachamba. We've been married for 4 years now. And… we have a son" Arnold finished with a breath
Kevin gave an exasperated sigh. "Please, for the love of Heavenly Father, tell me you did not name him…"
"Luke Mafala Cunningham" Arnold had a huge smile on his face. Everyone groaned. "Of course his name is Luke, what else would it be?" Kevin just rolled his eyes. That was so… Arnold.
Noah Neeley became a successful architect in Detroit, Michigan, of all places. James Church worked in a domestic violence recovery center. Jacob Michaels owned a very successful candy store back in his home town of Provo. Michael Davis was a stay-at-home dad with two kids, his wife was a Senator.
"My turn!" shouted Elder Thomas impatiently, "Hi, my name is Chris, but most people just call me Pop-tarts… 'cuz I love 'em so much" He said with a smile, which was returned by all. "And… You guys aren't going to believe this, but I now own 10% of the Kellogg Company" This was greeted by blank stares. "You guys know, the company that makes Poptarts" Everyone chuckled.
"Be serious now Pop-tarts. How in the world would you manage to convince Kellogg to sell you 10% of their shares?" asked Elder Schrader skeptically "It would take millions and millions of dollars to get that much of the company"
"Fifty five million to be exact" replied Chris with a smirk.
Kevin was flabbergasted. "Pop-tarts, where did you get all that money?"
"In volatile market, the only stable investment is porn" he responded simply. There were more blank stares, followed by howling laughter. "What? It's true!" he insisted "Did you know that, while having the highest church attendance in that the nation, Utah also watches the most porn?"
"I don't think I believe you" stated Elder Church, but not unkindly, "We're not here to impress each other; it's alright if you're a bum Pop-tarts. We'll understand." Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Guys, do you not see that airplane outside of the window? That's mine. I swear, I'm not trying to show off or anything. I'm just laying the facts on the table." Chris responded indignantly. Kevin, along with everyone else, looked out the window, and indeed there was a personal jet.
"Christopher Pop-tarts Thomas, I am ashamed of you" Elder McKinley said in that overdramatic way of his.
Chris looked at him skeptically "And why is that?"
"Don't you remember rule 52?" Elder McKinley gave his former companion a friendly smile. "Do not embark on a private airplane".
Everyone laughed at the embarrassed Chris Thomas. Oh, Elder McKinley, you still remember all of those rules Kevin thought with a chuckle.
The laughter died down and everyone stared expectantly at Elder McKinley. He blushed beet red. "Guys, stop staring. I haven't done anything that interesting"
"So?" responded Arnold, "We're wondering about your sex life" Everyone gaped at him.
"Arnold Cunningham! That is not a socially acceptable question" Keven scolded, elbowing him. Yet, he wasn't disagreeing. Elder McKinley's sexuality was a delightfully awkward topic that interested them all. We leaned in, waiting for his response as he grew redder still.
"Seriously, guys!?" We kept waiting. He groaned. "Alright, Hello my name is Connor McKinley and I've been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years now" Everyone clapped and hooted. Kevin laughed. He was proud of Connor for coming out. Connor buried his face in his hands. "I hate all of you" came his muffled reply.
Kevin patted the poor guy on the shoulder. "Tells us more! Where'd you meet? What's his name?"
"Is it Steve?" shouted out Jacob "What happened with him?"
"I'm not gonna get out of this, am I?" Connor sighed with a small smile "Well, it's a long story" Everyone scooted closer. Another sigh. "Fine. After Uganda I went back home and broke the news to my parents. They kicked me out. I didn't expect much different though. I got myself a job and small place. I ended up looking Steve up after a few months. We met together for coffee." He smiled at Kevin. "I got a decaf. Old habits die hard. Anyway, he's engaged" He paused, watching everyone's faces drop. They all knew how infatuated Connor was with his childhood crush. "To his boyfriend"
"Hey, you were right buddy!" exclaimed Poptarts, hugging his friend. "You have a working gaydar!" Connor laughed and hugged his buddy back.
"I suppose I do, because that's when I realized the barista was very attractive and most definitely swung my way. I mentioned that to Steve and the bastard left my number as a tip. He ended up calling me and we went out. It was great. We've been seeing each other ever since" Connor looked around the room, still seeing expectant looks. "What else do you guys want from me?"
"Name." responded Noah immediately.
"Andrew Scott Harris. Enough. Please. I'm so embarrassed." Connor hid behind his hands again.
"Fine, we'll let you off the hook. For now" responded Arnold. He smirked. "It's Kevin's turn now"
Kevin groaned internally, but kept his smile on. This was going to be interesting. "Well, as Arnold has already revealed, my name is Kevin. I… You guys are going to laugh…"
"Probably" agreed Jacob Michaels. Kevin rolled his eyes.
"Right. I own an iced coffee shop. It's called 'Joe Smith's Coffee'. After my old time role model" Kevin said with his biggest smile to the uproar of laughter. "That's not even the best part though." Kevin looked dreamily at the wall. "I get to spend every day of my life drinking coffee in Orlando, Florida"
The rest of the night continued in this fashion, with a lot of laughter and embarrassment. Stories of current lives and memories of old passed from mouths to eager ears. Kevin had the night of his life and couldn't wait until Arnold would call them after the next 5 years passed.