Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, I wouldn't bother suffering through High School any longer. (I'd have cash!).

*Edited Version* Well, I'm not in High School any longer, but I do still need money. _ Too bad I don't own Kingdom Hearts! ^^^

Sickness:

I don't know exactly how long I have been sick. I just know that the feeling started on that ship. I don't remember the Captain's name but he wasn't very important to me anyways. What I do remember is that childhood game we used to play; my old best friend Riku and I. We're not really friends right now, and although I don't want to think badly of him, every hallway in this place that's full of echoes just makes me more weary and I think I may have nearly lost all my faith in the good in people's hearts. When I start to feel this way...well, it is hard not to resent him just a little.

The game I played - well, it was immature, and wasn't really a game - but you know how when you were a kid you maybe used to tease each other with that old 'Stop hitting yourself!' thing? You'd take their hand and smack them with it and say those words thinking that you were incredibly funny? Well, I was one of those immature kids...is it hard to believe? I sure hope so. Anyways...Riku was just so fun to tease, but I never really thought about it back then, and of course it didn't make any difference in our lives anyways – my teasing him I mean.

So as we got older and found more fun ways to tease each other, it all faded out... that kind of stuff you just never really make note of.

Except on that ship.

He was so sad when I saw him there. I could see it in his eyes, because they were like mud...or like dirty clouds - like the type you see before a really bad storm - with the darkness lingering in them. I didn't realize how bad it was until I found the Hollow Bastion, but it was still scary. I had seen darkness there before. Riku's had those intense eyes for a long time; even before we met Kairi. He's had a tiny bit of darkness in his heart since we met - but I love Riku, and I never thought this would go so far.

You know, when Kairi arrived, I almost thought I saw a little bit of that darkness melt away. I gotta say that's probably why I care so much for Kairi. Maybe that is why I need to find her so badly. I get confused and I think that maybe it isn't Kairi I am saving...but Riku. If I find Kairi, will Riku's darkness go away again? Will we all be able to go back to the islands and hang out like the old days? I never thought those days would be gone so soon. I don't think I appreciated them enough...I don't think any of us did. Riku, deep down, do you miss those days too?

Now I feel really sick.

I looked into the cold, yellow eyes of my own shadow. My anti-me. Riku...did you create that thing because you missed me? On some level I believe that is why you did it. It was pretty scary in any case, hacking away at myself with the keyblade. It was also kind of nice. I was mad at myself for letting you go; for not searching harder for you. I almost enjoyed hitting my own image. Maybe I should have just left Donald and Goofy to look for you independently. Would you have been happy then? Would you be by my side right now, searching for Kairi with me? Then, we all could have just gone back to the islands and hung out like the old days, and teased each other like old days, and built lame rafts, and ate paopu fruit - which isn't really to my taste, but I'd eat it with you – all just like the old days! Everything would be great. We'd have a rematch of that one last race, and we'd stay together like that forever. Our own happy ending.

But endings aren't always nice and happy like that are they? When I was slashing away at myself, I saw you there out of the corner of my eye, and I distinctly heard you mutter 'Stop hitting yourself, Sora.'

Stop hitting yourself.