A/N: I posted this because I just HAD to post SOETHING. This hiatus is KILLING ME! So, please enjoy. I wrote this because, as some of you know, I LOVE Tim, especially angsty or tragic Tim-centric fics. I intended Abby and Tim for this, but I wrote it so that it can be taken for any couple.
Enjoy and PLEASE review!
Every day, she knew that there was a chance that one of them wouldn't be coming back. Every day, she watched them go out and get shot at, chased, hurt and, once, even killed. She always knew it could happen again.
But never had she thought that it would be him. He'd pulled out of so many scrapes before, most of the time unscathed.
Never had she thought it would hurt so much. She'd never let herself admit that she loved him before, but now she wished she had.
Never had she thought that it would affect the rest of the team so much. As she sat in her grief, she watched as everyone else succumbed to their own. She watched them crumble.
Never had she thought that he loved her so much, but as they went through his things, they found love letters he'd never sent, pictures of her she didn't know he kept, a will leaving more than half of his possessions to her.
Never had she thought that she would enter such a downward spiral. She hadn't eaten since she found out, sleeping was a thing of the past and the things that she had once found joy or even solace in were now meaningless.
Never had she thought that one person's death could damage a team as a whole so much. Their efficiency took a nosedive, along with their accessibility. Kate's death hadn't been nearly as catastrophic.
Never had she thought that she would react so badly. When they told her, she cried, raged, screamed at them, begged them to tell her they were joking, that it wasn't true, but they had stood there. She was inconsolable.
Never had she thought that the littlest things would trigger the sweetest – and most painful – of memories. Typing at her computer, brushing her teeth, driving her car.
Never had she thought that she would feel so guilty. It was irrational, she knew. She wasn't there, and she couldn't have prevented it, but there were so many unresolved feelings, unspoken thoughts, undecided reactions, unmentioned regrets.
Never had she thought that she would miss him so much. Even for the littlest things, she would begin to ask him, only to remember that he wasn't there, would never be again. Never smile that contagious smile she loved, correct a mistake she'd made, tell her not to worry again.
…And never had she thought that he would continue to have such a hold on her heart, even after he was long dead and gone.
A/N: So, what did you think? I'm not psychic, so you'll have to use the old fashioned way and review. Please?