It is the end of summer. Just when I thought things were going well between me and Arnold. I've shown him my sweet side and became a better friend towards him. But that's not what I wanted. I wanted more than to just be good friends with him. My teenage dream did not come true ever since little Miss Perfect came back into the picture after being away for a month back at her hometown. Sweet, innocent Lila just had to ruin my plan to tell Arnold everything. How I truly felt about him. To apologize for everything I said to him since we were kids. But no...

Arnold was more interested in hearing what Lila had to say, how her "amazing" vacation was. Everywhere we went, she tagged along and Arnold let her. Why, oh why do I still let that girl feel like she's a threat to me? Why can't I just tell Arnold how I feel already? I can be just as pretty and perfect and a whole lot nicer to Arnold, which I have been ever since our vacation started! Just thinking of all this gives me such a huge headache.

I suddenly hear my phone ring. I step away from my window to pick my phone up, realizing it is Arnold who is calling me. "Hello?", I answer.

"Hey Helga! Are you busy tonight?", he asks me so sweetly. Why must his now more mature voice warm my heart so greatly, even when I'm upset at him?

"Not really. I'm feeling a little under the weather, actually." I lied. I just need to be away from him, knowing Lila would be there with him. Damn, that red-headed girl with her perfect everything.

"Aw, but Helga. Rhonda's throwing a huge party tonight before we have to go back to school again! It wouldn't be as fun if you didn't come", he tells me. I could sense he sounded a bit upset when I told him I couldn't go.

"I'm sorry, Arnold. But everyone will be there for you to have fun with. Especially Lila", I say sourly. However, Arnold didn't notice.

"I know, and Lila has been great company ever since she came back. I would be happy if you came to the party, though."

I felt my heart clench at his words. Despite him wanting me there, I just couldn't bring myself to go. Lila was going to be there and she would have him wrapped around her pretty little finger all night. And besides, Olga is over "baby sitting" me while my parents went away for Bob's birthday. As much as I disliked my parents, I thought it was kind of sweet. And Olga wants to spend time with me before I start school again and when Miriam and Bob came back. As annoying as she is, I prefer her over Lila any day.

"Just have fun without me, Arnoldo. Really... How about we hang out tomorrow, just you and me. Would that be okay?", I ask, suddenly regretting my choice of words. It made me sound selfish. But I have a right to be.

Arnold cheerfully shouts through the phone, "Of course that would be okay! Why wouldn't it?"

I was hoping he wouldn't ask. How I dread being put on the spot for what is or what isn't okay. "Uh... No reason, no reason at all. I just wanted to make sure it was a-okay with you", I hesitate. Why do I feel so nervous that I need to see stupid words like "a-okay" to him?

"Well I'm fine with it, Helga. I just hope you'll feel better by tomorrow. It's really a shame you can't come tonight", he tells me. Oh how you make my heart flutter, Arnold. You and your stupid football head and your stupid kindness.

"I will be. Now, you have fun. Don't go crazy! Don't do anything stupid, either", I say jokingly. I hear him laugh at the other end agreeing with me. I heard myself laugh, too. Wow, it's been a long time since I laughed with Arnold.

"It's also great to be hearing you laugh. I'll let you rest now, and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye Helga", he says with such a kind voice. "Bye Arnold", I say trying to sound the sweetest I can be. I hang up the phone and throw myself on top of my bed. It would have been fun to go to the party, I guess. But I just couldn't risk it. After Lila left to visit her hometown, all of our classmates noticed how close Arnold and I were becoming. It was beautiful actually. Feeling noticed with him felt amazing. Rumors spread we were already a couple. Of course, that was just a rumor. Arnold and I both laughed about it. Somehow within his laughs, I felt he loved the idea of being with me enough to be my boyfriend. Again, just what I was feeling. It could've been anything.

Now that Lila's back, it feels he's head over heels for her again. And she plays with his feelings because she knows she can. I've been there more for Arnold for every moment of his life. She's always around to get something out of him and to reject him as usual. That poor fool of mine. Then again, he's not mine. And who knows if he'll ever be. I stare up at my ceiling, imagining what could have happened tonight if I did go to that party. I could have looked hot as hell that Arnold's jaw would be dropped all the way to the floor. I could have pushed Lila to the side while all eyes are on me. I could have finally had Arnold to myself, be the assertive girl that I am and just kiss him with full force. Finally making him mine and not Lila's... Lila. She wouldn't try to make a move on him tonight, would she?

I get up from my bed feeling a little nauseous. I was over thinking it, yeah, that's what I was doing. I know Arnold wouldn't do such a thing, especially at a public place where all our friends would be at. Then again, we're all a bunch of hormonal teenagers- Just shut it, Helga, just shut it!

Thinking of Arnold and Lila is driving me crazy. I decide to go downstairs and notice that Olga watching a movie. I didn't care to know what it was about and went straight to the kitchen. Luckily there was still warm water on the stove for me to use to make a cup of tea. Chamomile should do the trick to calm me nerves. I finished it in one gulp and went straight back to my room. It sounds like Olga has fallen asleep in the living room. We did have a long day cleaning and making dinner together. Oh, that sister of mine.

I go into my room ready to sleep myself. I had to think of other things besides Arnold and Lila. I could take that offer to hang out with Olga before class begins. I make myself comfortable in my bed with the new bed sheets Olga brought me from England. I should really ask what she does for living. I'm sure she's said it so many times that I never bother to listen to what she says.

I drift onto sleep, wishing tomorrow will be a better day than the last couple of days I had with Arnold.

It is morning. I wake up in a nasty sweat. What was I dreaming about last night? I'm sure it was nothing, I told myself. I look at my phone and see I have text message from Arnold. It says, "Good morning! Hope you're feeling better. Come meet me at Slausen's for ice cream at 12 :)". Sounds like someone had a good night. A really good one I think horribly to myself. I honestly hope nothing bad happened.

I get up from bed and look for something nice to wear. But what do I have that would look nice? I sometimes feel I should update my wardrobe. I grab a pair of black pants and a pink tank top. Pink will always be my favorite color even if it didn't match with my tough exterior. I could still look girly in a way. I grabbed my pink bow on top of my loose hair to top everything off.

As I go downstairs, Olga is already up and sees me. She gives me a big smile and says, "Ooh baby sister, you look so cute! Where are you off to?"

She can be so annoying. Doesn't she have something better to do than bug me? "I'm going out with a friend, Olga. I promised we would hang out today and ask how the party was."

"You didn't go to a party with your little friends? You could have asked me if you wanted to go. I would have happily drove you there, Helga", Olga says with a sorry look on her face.

I say, "I wasn't feeling very well. I wanted to stay home anyway."

"Well, if you ever need anything, just let me know, Helga. I hope we can still go out together before your classes start, that day is coming up very soon!", Olga tells me.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'll let you know. I'll be back in a while, sis", I tell Olga as I leave the door. I think I heard her giggle when I told her that. I guess giving her my time wouldn't kill me so much. But first, I need to know how things went last night and hope I can have a Lila free day with Arnold. I hope he tells me something like Rhonda was hooking up with Harold at the party or Lila got puked on by Eugene. Those would be wonderful stories to hear.

I am almost at Slausen's and I swear I could see Arnold's head through the glass window. Even seeing his figure through a window makes me nervous. I walk into the shop and see Arnold already ordered some ice cream for us. He waves at me to the table.

"Hi Helga, how are you feeling today?", he asks genuinely. That smile of his always makes me blush. Just the way he smiles at me, although I'm sure he smiles that way at everybody else. "I'm doing pretty good. But enough about me, how was the party?", I ask him. "Oh, and thank you for ordering my ice cream before I got here."

"Not a problem, Helga", Arnold chuckles. "Well, the party was fun. Almost all our classmates were there. Sid decided to spike the punch, so I avoided it like the plague."

I laugh at the thought of everyone getting drunk at the party. Rhonda could never handle her alcohol, so I wonder how that went. "Ha ha. So what else happened?"

Arnold then stopped smiling and looked a bit nervous at me. Uh oh. Did something I felt last night happen? Did someone tell him something about me that they knew to scare him away from me? What happened?

"Helga, uh... Something else happened. It involves Lila", he tells me nervously. I didn't notice I finished all of my ice cream as soon as I felt nothing cold on my spoon. Oh god, what happened between those two? Was I about to have a stroke here? "Uh, what happened between you two?"

Arnold hesitates. "We were hanging out the moment she came in. I was telling her you weren't going to show up and I wouldn't be having as much fun with you not being there. We talked all night, and out of nowhere... She tells me she likes me likes me." I felt my heart stop for a second when he told me that.

"So... so what did you say?", I ask, hoping he rejected her. Arnold finally says, "I mean I still like her. I've liked her all these years. It's weird she finally feels this way for me! Did the country air do something to her?"

"I really don't know", I say with no interest in my tone. That girl just has to ruin everything for me.

"Anyway, Helga... She asked me to hang out with her when school starts. I know it wouldn't be fair to Gerald or you, but I just don't know. It wouldn't hurt to try hanging out with her, see how things go..."

I looked at him, hoping I wasn't looking sad and say, "If that's how you feel... Then... Hang out with her, I guess. You just said you liked her all this time..." I couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth. Even Arnold looked surprised.

"But Helga-" Arnold said before I cut him off.

"Arnold, this summer was lots of fun. I felt great opening up to you about everything, hanging out, watching movies, even being dates with each other when Phoebe and Gerald asked us to be with them. But Lila's back and it looks like she wants you like you always wanted her", I tell him trying not to shed a tear. "I'm happy to be your friend and give you advice. Right now... Just go to Lila, the feelings are finally mutual between you two."

Arnold looks confused at me. I get up and pay him back for the ice cream. "I guess, I'll see you Monday, Arnold."

I walk away without looking at him. I couldn't tell what his expression was now. All I know is I feel heartbroken over something so stupid and decide to let him chase after his dream girl. I am so stupid. How could I ever think there would be a chance between me and Arnold? I'm not pretty nor perfect. Just a big, angry Helga Pataki. I start feeling the tears stream down my cheeks. I wipe them away with disgust. Crying over something that simply wasn't meant to be. Arnold deserves what he has been fighting for anyway. I wasn't that and I couldn't force it like I've tried to when we were kids. I'd look so foolish just even trying to play with his heart and make him love me. I'd be no better than Lila or those other girls Arnold had crushes on. I need to clear my mind badly. I pick up my phone and call Olga.

Olga answers with seconds, "Hello? Is everything okay, Helga?"

"Yeah, I'm fine... Could you actually pick me up? I'm not ready to go home and... I'm ready to take your offer for us to go out and do stuff together..."

"Oh baby sister, yes! I'll pick you up in five minutes and we can finally bond like I always wanted", she says with glee.

"Perfect, sis. I'll be waiting for you."