I should hate him. I should want to kill him. He killed Lisa, he deserves it.
I won't though. I can't. I love him. It's wrong. I should leave him but I can't. He's my drug, my personal ecstasy. Except he's not mine.
He's anyone's. A casual flirt with anyone. And I'm just a toy. His object of desire when he's shot down or bored. For when Gwen's at home with Rhys.
Owen was right. I'm worthless to him. So why can't I give him up?
I'm too weak.
***
Ianto smiled as the others packed off to go home for the night. Owen lumbered out to get drunk, Tosh headed for her house and Gwen went to meet Rhys. Sparing a glance at Jack, Ianto saw the forlorn look in his eye as he stared at Gwen leaving.
Sighing Ianto returned to what he did best cleaning. Hoping someday Jack would look at him with that look. 'Why do I put myself through this pain' he thought bitterly.
"Ianto! My office! Now!"
'because I'm weak'