For Evil for completing GGE '14 in a timely manner. I really do hope you enjoy this.
Note: the general idea is that you get a black scar when you love someone, red when it's requited, and white when they've died.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
He looks down at his wrist that is marred with one white soulscar and one red. Until now, he's only had the scar from Lisa, the only person he ever truly loved and who had loved him back.
But now, he bares the mark of Jack as well. He should hate the man; should want to punch him instead of kiss him because he's the reason Ianto doesn't have Lisa anymore.
He can't, though, not when Jack does everything in his power to protect him, protect them all. When he knows Jack only killed her to protect everyone. Can't hate him for doing something he never had the courage to do even when he knew Lisa was a danger to them all.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
Ianto has seen Jack's wrist, seen how many soulscars marr the skin. Jack flaunts them, with his sleeves rolled up, where nobody can miss them. It's a staggering amount of white and black marks with two red. There's a little voice in the back of his mind that reminds him that Jack has lived a long, long time already so it shouldn't be that surprising.
But Ianto's only had one relationship before, and she was turning into a Cyberman towards the end. So he's not sure it's really the best thing to even start another relationship, especially with his boss. Since he doesn't know when to draw the line between loving and knowing when there is nothing left to save.
He isn't sure he should start something with someone that has loved and lost so many times, because doesn't loss change a person? It changed him. Jack, however, think they should try anyway. Or, Ianto assumes he does, if Jack's lips against his own are anything to go by.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this.
"You won't remember me in hundred years."
Ianto doesn't know what possesses him to say it, but the words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. His hand freezes where it was tracing the soulscars on Jack's wrist.
He's been thinking about it for a while, about the hundreds of scars that Jack bares. Thinking about how he probably doesn't remember them all. But he wasn't going to say anything about it.
Jack places a hand on Ianto's, where it's still frozen above Jack's wrist; a gentle touch not meant to move his hand. "Is this an everyday thought or spur of the moment?"
Ianto doesn't meet Jack's curious eyes. "Spur of the moment," he lies.
Jack presses Ianto's hand against his marks. "Pick one," he instructs, "and I'll tell you their story." When Ianto is quiet, Jack continues on. "Just because I can't remember the color of their hair or the sound of their laughter, doesn't mean that I don't remember their names or how I loved them."
Ianto doesn't apologize for his insecurities. Instead, he says, "Just don't forget me."
He feels Jack's laughter and sees the way his eyes light up. When it dies down, Jack kisses Ianto softly. "I could never forget you."
Maybe, just maybe Jack is telling the truth.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this, but in the end, Ianto can't imagine not loving Jack.
A/n - so many thanks to Lo Bo for beta-ing even though she's not familiar with the fandom. She's the best.