Guilt and Envy
Rated: T (for language)
Pairing(s): Faberrittana friendship, side Brittana
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of the songs used in this story.
A/N: Here's the sequel to Pity and Promise! :) I've been hoping to start this story for a while, but I haven't had the story planned out or the motivation to write it. There isn't much I've planned for this story, so it'll probably go in every direction. Different pairings (the main will be a Faberrittana friendship) with some others that might be a surprise. We might even get some pezberry moments. No promises though. ;)
Brittany was a smart person. Maybe not crazy book smart—even when she does try—but more of emotionally. One of her best qualities was her kindness to everyone around her, and that also applied to her willingness to help with any problem. Even if getting there got her trouble, sometimes.
She felt the warm breath of her fellow cheerio beside her which reminded her of where she actually was: In Santana's room, cuddling with her girlfriend.
Loving life was another one of her qualities, and she could definitely agree that she was the happiest person right now. And the sad thing was, these happy moments brought her back to her previous negative thoughts.
"I don't know what I did wrong." The brunette's voice caught her attention again.
Her eyes followed the tall teen retreating down the hallway, feeling the pity that she felt before any of them had gotten involved in the whole situation. Santana might have enjoyed the drama before. Quinn would have probably ignored it while Brittany… well, what could she say?
Maybe she should have said something right then and there. It might have stopped her heart from hurting at the way the girl looked when she let the words sink in.
"Rachel, this isn't working out-at least right now."
"Why, Finn? Are you interested in Quinn again? I thought you-"
Brittany ducked away when she felt eyes glancing in her direction, breathing a sigh of relief that she hadn't been caught. Eavesdropping wasn't something she was proud of. When she eventually peeked around the corner again, Finn had embraced Rachel in a tight hug, looking like he was afraid to even let her go.
When the teen pulled away, his eyes were focused on his feet. "It's hard for me, Rach. In a couple months you'll be in New York, living your dream. And I'll still be here, probably working in Burt's tire shop." He shook his head. "I can't deal with the feeling of you going to New York without me, but I also don't want to have to hold onto a relationship that isn't more than a few phone calls a week."
Rachel looked up. "Please, Finn. I would never leave you behind. This isn't going to change us or who we are together." Her attempted hug was ignored when Finn turned around, muttering a sad and pathetic, "I'm sorry." That was when he walked away, and when Brittany went to Rachel's aid.
She said she was fine and just needed time alone. No matter how much she wanted to do, she knew the girl needed space. The next option was to talk to Santana.
The girl curled up next to her ended her memory and took her mind off the issue, if for a moment. Maybe she should tell her… but that same voice in her head argued against it. If Rachel needed space, then what good would it do to have Santana bugging her about it? But…
"San?" Guess her mind was made up.
The latina didn't even open her eyes; she merely twitched and mumbled, "Hmm?"
"I'm worried about Rachel." Her worried tone caused Santana's eyes to slowly open, and her body to sit up in a content position. The simply annoyed yet curious look she received prompted her to continue.
"Finn really hurt her today." Santana's eyes went wild and Brittany quickly corrected herself. "Not like that! I mean… I think they broke up. Rachel looked pretty upset."
The latina sighed. "Britt, they've broken up more than once. She's probably gonna mope for a while and then they'll get back together."
That was logically thinking, of course. It was well known that Finn and Rachel did have their fallouts. And more often than not, they always made up in the end.
"This isn't like the other times, San. You know what happened last month."
She knew Santana would probably feel guilty, but right now it would work. A girl going through changing her appearance and personality to please you was more than enough to pull on every bad feeling you ever had towards her. Brittany, of course, never felt that towards Rachel. But being alone with her girlfriend most of the time, it was brought up.
"Yeah, I remember. You don't gotta remind me again." Her hand traveled down her face dramatically, and Brittany couldn't help but smile. She knew she cared more than she was letting on. "You know she's been better. You me and Q make sure of that. But Berry's gotta live her own life too-her life, her problems. Doesn't mean we can't help, but wouldn't it be smart to let her sulk on her own for a while before butting in?"
That left her stumped. Without anything else to convince her otherwise, the blonde finally relented. "Okay." Santana smiled in reply and fell on the pillows in a similar position as before. Brittany happily laid with her, until that nagging suggestion escaped her mouth. "San…?"
"Yesss…?" She groaned even if she didn't mean it.
"Couldn't you call Rachel…? I mean, just to make sure she's alright? It wouldn't…"
"Britt, she's fine." The certainty in her voice calmed her, just a little. "We'll see her Monday, so we'll talk to her then. I promise."
That was when the blonde dropped it. For now, it was the best she could do. She banished all bad thoughts and eventually went back to her happy place of rainbows and bicorns.
Guilt was a hard thing to swallow. Sure, she was a badass and was able to scare people away with her demeaning looks and words, but she never wanted to appear heartless. In truth, she did believe Brittany when she said it was different this time. Rachel was more vulnerable and even her new friendship with the Unholy Trinity wasn't enough to protect her from other people.
The worst thing was… now that Brittany had gone home, Santana was alone in her room, staring up at the ceiling. And all the while her phone beside her bed was calling to her, causing an even deeper pit of guilt to form.
When she finally broke, it was strange to realize that she was dialing Rachel's number even if she tried everything to assure herself that everything was fine. And when at four rings, she didn't answer, she sent her a quick text.
From: Santana L.
To: Rachel B.
Yo Berry, where you at?
When she didn't get a response, she sent another quick message.
From: Santana L.
To: Rachel B.
Are you okay?
The latina couldn't remember much after that. She did remember convincing her mind to take a rest and stop worrying so much, which she might admit was pretty tough. The last time she checked her clock it read 9:23 PM, and when her head hit the pillow she lost track of the time.
She woke up completely disoriented to her phone ringing beside her, flashing 1:04 AM. Still half asleep, she picked up the phone, ready to press "Decline" when she stopped and read the name. "Rachel Berry calling."
Now more awake, she pressed "Answer" and brought the phone to her ear. "Hello?" Her greeting was followed by silence. "Rachel, are you there?"
"Santana." The voice that responded was choked by tears.
"Rachel, what's wrong? Are you alright?" The latina quickly sat up, running through every negative feeling she had.
"I-I'm okay… I'm at Finn's. We were just talking… I just…"
"Did he hurt you? I swear, I'm going to cut off his-"
"No… No." She breathed. "I just got mad… I thought we could talk about things… I… I just got really mad and started yelling. I guess it was pretty stupid."
Santana wasn't about to disagree. "Rach, I get going to talk to him. But… it's one in the morning."
"I know… I told my dads I was going by Mercedes… I just had to talk to him. But…" The rest of her sentence was choked by tears, and the dark-haired girl hoped that she could talk her through this.
"Can you come pick me up?" The pleading tone was too much for Santana to deny, and she had her jacket on as quickly as she replied.
"Be right there."