Regina grasps Henry and Roland's hands as they walk to Arthur's castle. She hates this, walking into another sovereign's territory. She should be riding her horse, surrounded by her knights, on the offensive to prevent any possibility of attack. Instead she is surrounded by everything in the world that matters to her. Zelena had reminded Regina barely an hour ago of how much danger the people she loves are in just by being close to her. But Regina has no choice, everyone she cares about is here, transported to this new land with her, so all she can do is hold on to her boys tightly, ready to defend her family however necessary.
Regina glances over at Robin every few seconds as he walks beside Henry. Regina would be holding on to Robin too if she had another hand. She had still been half supporting his weight as he gasped for breath in the wake of Zelena's attack when the portal had opened feet from where they stood.
Robin smiles at Regina reassuringly, a small nod and a hand on the small of her back as they walk. She breathes a sigh of relief at his touch, squares her shoulders, and continues on. Beside her Henry offers a smile too and squeeze of her hand. She mouths I love you to her son. Her heart is back in her throat again as looks at Henry and at Emma next to him. Regina bites back the fear again. She can't let doubt show when Arthur's knights are watching her, can't let it show when Henry and Snow are counting on her to save Emma from the darkness.
They're all waiting outside the castle so the knights can alert Arthur of the presence of strangers in their land. Regina is constantly scanning, watching for a threat. She sees Henry sit down on a log, his hands clasped between his legs as he stares off into the distance, looking so young and lost.
She goes to him, wishes desperately that she could take away the pain that's stacked up on him these last four years. She remembers her happy child, not a care in the world. He's remained a happy boy somehow these last years, still hopeful and good and kind, but there's a weariness that's settled in him now that terrifies Regina. She sits down next to Henry and leans her head on his shoulder.
It makes him smile. "You always said I was your favorite pillow."
"I can't help that you're so comfortable." Regina says, making Henry chuckle. The sound is music to Regina's ears.
"My little prince." Regina sighs, her heart so full of love and pain for her son. She reaches her hand to cover Henry's, her thumb rubbing what she hopes are soothing patterns across his fingers.
"We're going to save her aren't we?"
Regina's chest clenches. Henry sounds so afraid. "I promise you sweetheart. I won't rest until you have Emma back."
"I'm tired Mom."
She looks him over, and oh does he look exhausted. There's none of the joy she'd seen when his fatigue was from a late night of reading comic books, when he walked into the kitchen the next morning with a sheepish smile knowing that Regina would guess in a second why he looked so poorly rested. Now he looks so weary. Her baby is fifteen years old, and already he has seen more than he ever should. Regina has always wanted to give Henry a normal happy life with cookies and homework and comics.
"I'm so sorry Henry."
"It isn't your fault."
Her throat feels tight. It is her fault. Emma took on the darkness for her. Regina was going to die, and Emma saved her. But the darkness went after Regina, went after her because she already belonged to it for so long. Emma never deserved this. Neither do all the people suffering now, all the people counting on Regina to make it right.
"I love you Mom. I don't know what I would have done if I lost you." His voice sounds tearful and Regina sits up to look at him. There are tears in his eyes threatening to spill over, and Regina pulls him into her arms, cradling his head against her shoulder and rocking him.
"I love you. I'm right here sweetheart. Everything will be all right, I promise." Her chest clenches with the thought that she might not be able to follow through on this promise. "I won't rest until I find a way to take the darkness from Emma."
"I'm scared Mom. I know I'm supposed to be the Truest Believer, but I don't know how to believe right now."
Regina lifts Henry's chin to look him in the eyes. "You will always have the most beautiful heart I have ever known. Everyone gets scared sometimes and has doubts. You can let me believe for both of us for a little while."
He nods at her with a little smile before burying his face into her neck again. "I love you," he tells her again, his voice tearful.
"I love you so much honey." She holds him tightly, rubbing his back and just trying the only way she knows to make him feel safe and loved and to give him back some of his hope.
They stay simply holding on to one another until Regina hears tiny footsteps walking towards her. She and Henry sit up, and it warms her heart that Henry keeps an arm around her back, still pressed close to her side.
Roland looks upset, and Regina's eyes immediately seek out Robin, relieved to see that though he is speaking heatedly to Zelena, he is flanked by Charming, Granny, and Emma. Regina would go to him, but the Roland is telling her with tears in his eyes that "Papa's yelling at the mean lady" as he climbs onto Regina's lap and makes himself comfortable.
"Your Papa will be ok Roland. Zelena did some bad things that he's angry about."
"I don't like her. She scares me."
"I'll never let anyone hurt you sweetie. Your papa and I will always protect you."
Henry ruffles Roland's hair, tells the younger boy. "I'll protect you too. We're family, and family always takes care of each other."
Regina's eyes fill with tears, and she squeezes Henry's arm before pressing her lips to his forehead and whispering, "I am so proud of you."
"I'll protect you too!" Roland says, his worries apparently forgotten and a smile on his face.
Regina presses a kiss to his messy curls. "My boys," she murmurs contentedly as she hugs them both close, and she feels in her heart that they both are now. Roland is hers to love and care for, and she hopes she can live up to the incredible responsibility and honor of being in his life.
Henry lays his head on Regina's shoulder and she tries to relax for a moment and just let herself breathe deeply as she watches Robin, ready to protect him instantly. But a moment later Charming is encouraging Robin to walk away, and Regina feels grateful to David as Robin walks to her.
"Are you ok?" Regina asks, worry bubbling up inside her even though Robin is here and safe. She knows how much the things Zelena did have hurt him, left him so filled with guilt and shame that Regina tries every day to help him work through. It hurts Regina terribly not to be able to take the pain away from Robin no matter how much time she spends holding Robin and promising that what happened isn't his fault.
"She just had some nasty words to say. I didn't take them very well."
Regina scrutinizes Robin's expression as he sits down beside her, tries to figure out what Zelena had said, knows it was most likely about Regina or their children if it made him so upset.
"I'm sorry for frightening you my boy," Robin tells Roland, leaning over to press a kiss to the son's hair where Roland's head rests against Regina's chest. Roland moves to his father's lap, and Regina wraps her arm around Robin's back, rubbing circles over the rough fabric of his jacket.
"It's ok Papa." Roland tells Robin, his face serious and earnest.
Robin looks at Regina with red eyes as Roland lays his head on his father's shoulder. Her hand rubs his back, his neck, fingers run through his hair, as she tries to soothe him without being able to fully talk about what happened while their sons are present.
"My three boys." Regina whispers, her arms wrapped tightly around the most precious gifts in her life.
Regina and Robin are settled into a bed in Arthur's palace, far too large and ornate for either of them to feel comfortable. Regina rests her forehead against Robin's, her hands ghosting over Robin's throat, memory of an attack that left no marks surging to the front of her mind now that there is a moment of quiet. Her lips are inches from his as she asks. "Are you all right?"
"I am, I promise." He covers her fingers with his own, weaving their fingers together. "You're trembling." Robin says with a frown, pulling Regina against him and letting her rest her face in the crook of his neck.
Regina lets out a shuddering breath. She's shaking and she can't stop. Everything is crashing in on her. Henry, her baby who has been forced to shoulder more than any child ever should. She hadn't protected him from so much pain. Snow, who is counting on Regina to bring Emma back to her, Snow who still trusts Regina even after every thing she's put Snow through, Snow who Regina cannot fail again. Zelena could have killed Robin today, has already done so much to him. But still Regina has him; he's alive and safe and they're together. That almost wasn't true after this morning. They're in danger still, her whole family is, and Regina is so terrified that she won't be able to protect them. "I almost lost you today."
"I'm here." Robin twines his fingers into Regina's hair, his other hand rubbing circles on her back. "I'm here my love. You saved me."
"I was so scared."
"I know. Believe me, I understand. I've come too close to losing you." His arms are so tight around her and she grasps him just as tightly in return. "I'm ok. We both are. Our boys are sleeping next door."
"I don't know how to do this Robin." Regina feels frantic, the panic rising in her chest, her heart beating wildly as she thinks back to her sister strangling him. "I'm so scared I'm going to lose you. I'm so scared that you're going to get hurt because of me. Everyone I care about gets hurt, and I cannot be the reason that you—" Her voice breaks, a sob overtaking her. Before Robin she would have hated to be seen like this, would have only broken down alone, but she trusts him completely, knows he's already seen her broken and loves her still. It makes her cry harder. She cannot lose him.
"Oh my love, my love." Robin holds her, his hands rubbing circles on Regina's back as he presses his lips to her hair, her face buried in his shoulder. But she wants more, looks up at him to find his face streaked with tears, and she has never had someone hurt at her pain like Robin does.
Her hands find his cheeks, wiping away the tears as she presses her forehead against his. She's taking shuddering breaths, trying to control herself, but then Robin kisses her so softly, and she's breaking again. He just holds her, whispering to her, words that blur together, but let her focus on the sound of his voice and the feel of his arms and his chest, real and solid.
Finally the tears subside, and Regina looks up at Robin, feels exhausted, her head throbbing. She's suddenly embarrassed, can hear her mother yelling at her when she was still Roland's age for crying like this. "I'm sorry," she whispers, a reflex really, the words she was taught to utter at any sign of weakness her mother witnessed.
"Whatever for?" Robin asks, his face looking terribly pained that Regina is apologizing. Regina can't look at him, feels even more embarrassed now, her cheeks hot, and she wants to take it all back, and still Robin's embrace is what she draws comfort from. Crying into his arms feels so different from crying into her pillow, it's this unbelievable comfort and connection and love that she has never felt before.
Robin bows his head so he can meet Regina's eyes. "Please don't ever apologize for needing to cry. You have been strong for everyone these last months. Do you know what you've given me? You are such a precious gift Regina. Having you back, and having your forgiveness and acceptance and support is such a gift. Your arms around me after a nightmare or when I feel so terribly overwhelmed, helps me more than I can possibly explain."
"I've told you Robin. There's nothing to forgive, and I am not going anywhere. I will be here for you and Roland and the new baby."
"Our baby," Robin says the phrase he so commonly repeats. Every time she says she'll raise his baby with him, he reminds her that this baby (who Regina has surprised herself by falling in love with so completely) is both of theirs.
Regina smiles and nods. "Our baby," she tells Robin, knows how much he needs to think of the baby as theirs. She knows he needs not to associate this child with its conception, and thinking of Regina as the baby's mother helps him. Regina remains afraid that Zelena will somehow poison the baby against Regina, convincing the child that what matters is biology, not the fact that Regina will be the one to raise it with Robin. But Regina swallows the fear back, thinks of her Henry and how she finally knows that he sees her truly as his mother.
"We're partners, my love," Robin says, his fingers gliding over her cheek and through her hair, "and that makes me so incredibly happy. I want to support you, just as you have done for me. So please don't ever be sorry for sharing yourself with me, because I am grateful for the gift of being allowed to know your beautiful heart."
"Robin," Regina sighs. Her heart is so amazingly full of love for this man, her fingers running over Robin's face. "Thank you," Regina tells him, "for loving me."
She knows she's invited him saying it, knows he's said it so many time in so many ways, but this is the first time she's heard, "I love you Regina. You bring me such happiness, and I will always love you."
Her heart is pounding, but she wants to say the words. The fear of losing Robin so strong, and yet she remembers something Emma told her in Isaac's universe. It's not that Robin doesn't know how Regina feels, she knows he does. But she wants him to know that she trusts him enough to say the words, that he means enough to her for her to face her fears. "I love you. Robin, I love you so much."
She never expected the relief that hits her with those words. She's baring herself to Robin, and it wasn't something that Regina ever realized that she needed this badly. But he's smiling at her and looking at her like he can see her very soul. When the world is closing in around her, and there's so much being laid at her feet, so much that Regina doesn't know if she can live up to, she has Robin here and willing to share her burden. "I love you," Regina says again, unable to keep the words inside any longer. "Loving you and being loved by you makes me so very happy. Even when everything is going to hell around us, I'm so happy to be with you."
He's kissing her then, a happy little laugh spilling from his lips before he's deepening the kiss and pulling Regina tighter against him. She moans against his mouth, letting herself get lost in the feeling of Robin's touch. Later they will talk strategy for keeping their family safe. For now Regina takes this moment of peace and lets herself revel in the feeling of being in love.