AN: Hi, kids. I went back and forth on whether or not to post this. Eventually, I just said "screw it."
Enjoy the angst.
After Dark
"Good morning."
His hand touched Shadow's sleeping face, but it wasn't quite enough. It hadn't been in recent days. Despite the knowledge of this, Sonic had yet to give up trying to get through to him.
The blue hedgehog exhaled the weight of the world and craned his head to the side, studying the other carefully. He wasn't exactly smiling, but his face was that of one sent to peacefully drift away on a calm sea. Maybe he'd been dreaming of the future contained within that dangerous world.
The possibility alone urged Sonic into action.
"Hey, Shadow, come on. Wake up."
The other pair of eyes didn't open, as he knew it wouldn't. Still, he smiled, because it was okay for the time being. He wasn't too far gone yet. He couldn't be.
That wasn't allowed at that point in the game.
—
The morning slipped into its grave, not to rise again until the next day. He snuck outside for his lunch break to breathe in air that had grown heavy with midday heat. The first thing on his mind was Shadow. Completely forgetting about the paper bag with his name on it in the fridge downstairs, he raced home with the aim of finally shaking him awake.
He couldn't give up, no, not now, not ever. That wasn't like him. He had to keep trying, keep pushing, hoping all the while that Shadow hadn't forgotten about him yet.
That was what he feared the most. Wouldn't his whole world fall apart if Shadow emerged from that dizzying blackness without any memory of his name or his face? That would have been a tragedy without a doubt, but an infinitely worse outcome would be if Shadow never came back at all.
Sonic possessed too much determination to stand by and let that happen.
"Shadow?"
His breaths sounded like waves crashing on the beach. Sonic backed away, choosing not to interrupt them with his presence. After all, he couldn't swim; and he wasn't so sure that he wanted Shadow to be the one to teach him.
"'Kay. I'll come back later."
—
When he returned, full of hope and words that he'd been dying to say, he found that the previous scene had not changed. Shadow was still lying there in the same position, his body half-curled into a ball and his face turned away from the only visitor he'd had in an untold amount of time. This time, Sonic sat down beside him, rested a hand on his spiky bed of quills, and tried not to worry about him.
He failed after barely fifteen seconds.
"Damn it, Shadow," he sighed while running his fingers through his musty-smelling black fur. "Can you just wake up and tell me what's wrong? 'Cuz I kinda get the feeling that this is my fault, somehow... I'd just like to know for sure."
Shadow didn't respond, but Sonic hadn't really expected him to. If Shadow had truly woken up right then and there, he would have had some serious explaining to do. For only that reason, Sonic was glad that the other had yet to open his eyes. He was ill-equipped to face anyone who had witnessed one of his rare moments of weakness, but the thought of looking his arch-rival in the eyes after the matter was almost enough to get him on his feet and out the door.
Then he looked down at Shadow's sleeping form and remembered the roots that had sprouted in his heart and connected their bodies together.
He smiled at the fond recollection of feelings both old and new and laid his head down beside Shadow's. He could allow himself a short rest while his heart was still warm from the touch in his memory.
—
He dreamed of that one August day when they went to the beach together. Somehow, they had gotten lucky enough to visit the beach during low tide. They ran together in the sand and sat with the dunes to their backs and talked for hours about everything and nothing. He had seen Shadow smile then. He had even managed to make him laugh when he got sand in his shoes, tripped over himself, and took in a mouthful of gritty seawater. He had stood at the shoreline with his back to the water for a few seconds and watched Shadow tilt his face up to the sun and stretch his arms out. Though neither of them said a word at that precise moment, Sonic knew that Shadow was happy then. The soft glow in his eyes said all that he would never allow himself to say.
That light, however small, drew Sonic in as if he were a brainless insect. He sat so close to Shadow that their legs touched, then rested his head on his shoulder and looked out at the gently rolling ocean. Their fingers tentatively brushed over one another before firmly entwining in the sand. In order to seal the bond that they'd established, he offered a bright smile that Shadow reciprocated.
He couldn't have asked for a better day.
In real life, they had been forced to leave once the tide started coming in and the water covered up the sand that their feet had once trailed through. But in Sonic's dream, the day never ended. They stayed there forever, side by side, blissfully gazing at the horizon of a serene world.
He only wished that such a thing was possible.
—
When he woke up, he tried not to think about the fact that he hadn't seen Shadow smile since that day; but it was next to impossible to do with the offending party sleeping right next to him.
Frustrated, he brushed the rays of early morning sun from his face and turned to look at Shadow, just to confirm that he hadn't stopped breathing in his sleep.
Not quite yet. His chest was still rising and falling, as much as Sonic could see. Unsurprisingly, his eyes weren't open and he was facing away from Sonic; but he was still alive. Somehow, despite having been comatose for what felt to Sonic like years, that body named "Shadow the Hedgehog" was still alive and breathing.
Such a simple sight wasn't enough for Sonic, though. He wanted some form of acknowledgment: words, a sigh, a glare, a slap in the face, something. He wanted Shadow to open his eyes, sit up, and tell him to get lost, go to hell, fuck off, go away, bother someone else, something. He wanted everything to go back to normal. He wanted Shadow back from wherever he'd disappeared to.
"Come on," he whispered as loud as he could stand it. "Open your eyes, Shadow. Just a little. Please."
He felt like crying. His eyes were itching and burning and his throat stung. He couldn't stop dwelling on the memory of that smile, those bright eyes, the radiant sun on that perfect day, and it was destroying him. Maybe it was destroying Shadow, too.
No, that wasn't possible. Shadow had destroyed himself long ago.
—
Sonic couldn't quite remember how long it had been since Shadow had gone to sleep. A year, maybe? Or was it a little less than that? Ten months? Six? Two?
He couldn't say for sure, because he'd never kept track. He had always believed that Shadow would open his eyes the next morning... okay, the next... okay, the next... until both of their birthdays came and went without anything more than a sleepy murmur from Shadow. After his return from the party that his friends had thrown him, he noted that Shadow hadn't moved an inch.
That was the day on which he finally admitted to himself that something was seriously wrong with his dark counterpart.
Still, he remained hesitant to take Shadow to the hospital or even allow Tails into the house. There were times at which he questioned whether or not Shadow was pretending to be asleep just to get back at him for something, if the whole situation was all in his head, or if it was really any of his business. At others, he found himself right back at square one, denying that there was anything wrong with Shadow and swearing up and down to himself that Shadow would wake up on his own. That wasn't too unreasonable, was it? He was just a little tired, that was all. People got tired all the time. All Shadow needed was some time to rest. It hadn't been too long, had it? Just a couple of days turned weeks turned months had gone by. There wasn't any cause for alarm!
Sonic tried to convince himself of this sometimes, but found it harder and harder to believe as time marched on and Shadow stayed in the same place, never once turning to face him. Again and again, Shadow drew breath after breath, cutting through the silence.
—
The world grew less and less hospitable with each additional second that Shadow's eyes remained closed. Sonic found himself inventing excuses at every turn, telling his friends that the house was a mess and no, they couldn't come over; then he supposedly had all the rooms repainted; then he was moving and had nothing there for anybody to see; too bad, come back some other time. According to everyone who knew him even semi-well at that time, he had moved back in with his parents following a particularly painful pay cut. What a shame it was that they lived on the other side of the world.
Having effectively isolated himself from everyone around him, he spent his newly accumulated free time by Shadow's side. He held his cold hands and read pages of books that he'd amassed over the years. He slept next to him every night and wrapped his arms around him to give him enough warmth to keep on breathing. He talked to him whenever he could and told him all about what was happening in the world that he'd left behind. He even started working from home so he could be with him at every hour of every day. Though he didn't have the slightest clue as to how to make Shadow happy, he assumed that his presence alone would have been enough to do something for the dark hedgehog. Since Shadow never gave any indication that he was awake, he couldn't say for sure if his efforts were being rewarded.
But he was determined to keep on trying. If he walked away for one second and Shadow woke up right at that moment, he'd never forgive himself. He wouldn't give up on Shadow now, not for anything in the world.
Well... anything but the world itself.
—
Naturally, they were found out before long.
The ringing of the doorbell reverberated throughout the nearly-empty house and pierced his ears, forcing him out of bed with a wince. As always, he looked to Shadow for any sign of a response. Nothing. He wasn't disappointed––he couldn't bring himself to be.
Still half in the clutches of sleep, Sonic made his way downstairs to the source of his rude awakening. He thought for a split second on his way down the stairs that maybe this wasn't such a good idea, that maybe he shouldn't open the door without knowing who was on the other side of it.
The thought was trampled by imaginary feet the second his fingers closed around the doorknob and pulled. He regretted having gotten out of bed once he saw the displeased figure standing at the door with her arms folded across her chest.
"Hey, Rouge." He forced a lackluster smile and spit out a question to which he already knew the answer. "What are you doing here?"
Why was he doing this again?
Her turquoise eyes narrowed. "Come on, Sonic, you know perfectly well why I'm here. I want to see the owner of this house."
"Huh? Oh, you mean Shadow."
"Yes, Shadow. Is he here or not?" The accusatory glint in her eyes, coupled with a sour frown, made Sonic wonder if she thought that he'd killed him.
He wasn't in the mood to fight her, so he had no choice but to let this one go.
"Yeah, he's upstairs. I'll, uh..." He scratched behind his ear again, easing for half a second the buzzing trepidation in his head. "I'll take you to see him."
"It's about time!" Both Rouge's tone of voice and body language seemed to ease up at his offer. Still, Sonic held his breath and tried not to think about what was waiting for them in that room upstairs.
But he couldn't avoid it. He had to cover his own ass in the end, didn't he?
"Yeah, um." He cleared his throat while stepping aside to allow the bat-girl entry. "Just so you know, he's not exactly... well... responsive right now, so don't expect much."
Despite the fact that Sonic had opened the gate, Rouge neglected to come forward. "What do you mean by that?" she asked instead, leaning into the doorway. "Is he still sleeping?"
"Yeah, and he has been for a really long time." Sonic almost bit his tongue at the last minute, but realized that it was no use for him to keep secrets from Rouge. If she hadn't shown up on that morning, she would have come at another time, maybe without warning, maybe with a pack of G.U.N. soldiers who would have taken Shadow away.
He'd be damned if he was going to lose another friend. He'd had too many people slip away from him over the years– whether of their own volition or as a result of something he had done– and he wasn't about to stand by and watch as Shadow fell away from him forever. That had already happened once, and as long as he was alive, it would never happen again.
Regardless of Rouge's feelings towards Shadow, Sonic knew that he had to be careful when dealing with her.
"I'll say. He hasn't showed up at work in forever!" She finally slid past Sonic and started up the stairs, stirring up a thousand fireflies in the blue hedgehog's stomach. Hoping that their collective glow wouldn't give him away, he stayed well behind Rouge.
"And you're about to see why," he muttered under his breath.
"Oh, please," Rouge laughed from somewhere up ahead. "Stop trying to scare me, big blue. I've seen Shadow knocked on his ass before. This can't possibly be that–"
Rouge's sudden silence told him that she'd found it for herself. Without a doubt, Shadow was still lying in that room with his eyes peacefully closed, dead to the world in his immobility and silence. Sonic wondered how in the world he was going to explain his condition to Rouge when she hadn't seen Shadow in weeks, maybe even months, and therefore had no idea of what he'd been like immediately before his prolonged trip to whatever dreamworld he'd concocted in that brooding mind of his.
However, he realized as he came to stand in the doorway of Shadow's bedroom, there was no need for him to explain anything; because Shadow was sitting straight up in bed, staring the both of them down.
Paralyzed by shock, Sonic had no choice but to let Rouge have the first word.
"Well, well, good morning, sleepyhead," she teased, sitting down at the foot of Shadow's bed. "Have you been enjoying your impromptu vacation?"
Shadow stared at her for a few seconds longer than was necessary before shaking his head as if to clear the cobwebs from his brain. Sonic eagerly awaited his reply, more so than he would ever admit.
"I was tired," he said to the comforter covering his lower body, "and I still am."
He sank back down into the bed in a gesture of finality. Sonic leapt through the window of opportunity that Shadow had presented him with and landed safely by his rival's side.
"Hey, come on," he insisted, tugging at Shadow's stiff right hand. "You've had more than enough time to sleep. Now's the time to get your ass back in gear."
"I'll go back to work on Monday. Just let me sleep for today."
"It's Wednesday, Shadow."
"Fine, then. I'll go back to work on Friday."
"Shad–"
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Rouge cut in, pulling Shadow back into a sitting position and shaking him firmly by the shoulders. Though his eyes were open, he directed his gaze at the floor. "You've skipped out on almost two months of work just to laze around in bed all day? This isn't like you, Shadow. Are you sick or something? Tell me what's going on, now!"
"I don't know."
She scoffed. "You don't know?" Having received no information from Shadow, she turned her attention to Sonic. "Has he ever done anything like this before?"
"Not that I know of."
"So I'm not crazy. Shadow, I–" Rouge's eyes moved to Sonic again. "We've known you for years, and you've never once–"
"I want to sleep."
Shadow pulled the covers over his head, and all was silent again; just as it was when Sonic had last left the room. With just the two of them left, Sonic didn't exactly expect Rouge to stick around; but he didn't expect her to get up as quickly as she did.
"Fine," she huffed– though Sonic could hear in her voice that she was hurt. "I-I'll just tell the Commander that you quit, then. Is that right?"
Shadow didn't say a word.
Left alone with him, it took everything Sonic had to not wrap his hands around Shadow's throat and choke some sense into him. In the end, he settled on curling up beside Shadow and pretending that the events of the past day had been nothing more than an idle fantasy. On the other side of the bed, Shadow was too steeped in reality to let Sonic go.
"Why don't you go home, Sonic? I'm not gonna give you what you're looking for."
"And why not, huh? I don't think that asking you to be a normal member of society is asking too much."
"I don't care. Why do you?"
"You're sick, Shadow."
"Yes, I am. I'm sick of everything and everyone, and I just wanna sleep."
"Are you serious? Come on, I'm bringing you to the hospital right now."
"They can't do anything for me."
"You're not a quitter, Shadow. Don't give me that. Get up. Don't make me carry you."
"I'll just use Chaos Control to get myself out of there. At least I can still do that."
"Why are you fighting me? I'm only trying to help you."
"I want to save you the time, energy, and frustration."
"What... what are you doing to yourself, Shadow?"
"I just need some time to myself. Trust me, I'll be back on my feet by Friday."
Sonic couldn't believe him, not after the endless days he'd spent by his unmoving side; but he had to pretend that he had faith in him, at least. Faking a confident smile, he tightly gripped both of Shadow's hands and squeezed them with the force of his sincerity.
"Promise me somethin', okay? Promise that before you throw it all away, you'll think it over. Got it?"
A quiet, breathy sigh was the only proof that his words had ever existed. Lacking the desire to pursue a dead connection, Sonic finally let go of his hands and stepped away.
Shadow's eyes closed––perhaps out of relief––and he slept once more; and it was as if they had been existing in a frozen world all along.
The tears that the emerald eyes offered up fell to the ground and shattered.
~End~
