"When are the results for the musical up?" I asked Lily Evans.
"I've told you a thousand times, Katrina, they'll be up in a few hours. They will be posted in every common room," Lily sighed, tugging at her sleeve.
I blushed, slightly embarrassed. "Do you think I'll get in?"
"I honestly have no clue, but your singing sounded wonderful. But compared to everyone else, it could be a hard choice for the director. I don't envy them," Lily said.
I nodded my head in agreement. "Professor Beery must have a hard time choosing. I mean I'd totally choose myself, but that's because I'm biased."
Lily giggled. "So am I."
A distant voice called, "Lily, come on back to the Gryffindor common room with us."
Rolling her eyes, Lily sighed. "Sorry, Remus is calloming. Probably needs something."
I giggled, unsure how to react.
I was sitting in the Hufflepuff common room when a piece of paper appeared on the wall. This must be it, I thought to myself, It's the cast list!
I ran out of my chair, rolling up my sleeves, prepared to see my name on the list. I examined all of the names closely but when I didn't see mine, I began to panic. Why isn't my name on the list? I thought I did really good. Is this a mistake? No, this can't be a mistake. Magic doesn't make mistakes.
Tears welled up in my eyes. I deserved to be in that musical. Stupid James Potter had made it in. How did he make it in and not me? That's utterly ridiculous! Anger rushed through me and I knew I needed to do something about it.
So I did.
I ran down the hallways, receiving multiple dirty looks from paintings. I kept on running and running until I reached Professor Beery's office where he was sitting at his desk, working on paperwork. Unable to control the anger in me, I screamed, "You're such an idiot for not including me in the musical."
"Huh?" he replied, rolling up his sleeves to his elbows. "I thought I casted you. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're in it."
I didn't hear the last thing that he said because I wasn't paying attention. I didn't want to hear what he had to say. It would probably be a stupid apology or some silly words about how I'm not good enough to be casted.
I said, "You are so idiotic and you don't deserve to be a director, let alone be a teacher. I hope Dumbledore fires you and you can't ever get a job after this."
"Fine, Miss Matthews, you're definitely not in it now!" he yelled. "Now please leave me in peace. You're lucky I didn't give you detention, little miss. I would expect this kind of backtalk from a first year, not a fifth year like you. Now go and never use that type of language with me ever again!"
I left the place in tears. I really shouldn't have reacted like that. The anger just controlled me and had its grip on me and nothing else was in sight. I had a chance to be in the musical, but just like that, I threw it all away. Just like that. My anger took control of me and grabbed me by the reigns. Maybe if I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve, I wouldn't have let myself become that emotional—over nothing. I'm such an idiot.
I threw myself into my dormitory and sobbed into my pillow. "I'm so stupid! Why can't I just control my anger and not mess things up! Why am I so damn stupid!" I screamed but my pillow muffled the sound.
Eventually I heard knocking at the door. "Go away," I yelled, "I don't need any visitors right now."
Despite my wishes, the door was opened up and I saw Professor Sprout standing in the doorway. "I said go away," I Herbology professor sat down next to me on my bed. "What part of 'go away' do you not understand?"
She smiled sadly. Speaking softly, she said, "Katrina, I heard what happened from Professor Beery. I understand that you do have a tendency to get angry pretty easily—-being your head of house, I've noticed it—but I can see why you're upset."
I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. "I guess. This totally sucks"
"And it 'totally sucks' to be forgotten about. But you'll have to accept that fact that you're not going to be in the musical." Professor Sprout sighed and stroked my hair. She was definitely a mother figure for me while I was here.
"But I had high hopes for it…"
"I know you did Katrina, but you'll have to deal with it. Perhaps if you atone for your mistakes, you can change yourself in the eyes of Professor Beery. I've heard he likes chocolate muffins for starters."
I nodded, smiling hopefully at my professor. "Thanks."
"No problem," she said while wiping my tears with the sleeve of her jacket. "I have some paperwork that I've been putting off. I'll see you soon."
"Thanks for coming."
"My pleasure."
And that's when it hit me.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Lily asked.
"Of course it is," I reassured her, carrying the chocolate muffin. "Professor Beery will love them. Besides, what's the harm in giving it to him?"
Lily didn't respond.
We both continued down the hallways into the musical theatre room. There were multiple students warming up their vocals, but to be honest, none of them were as good as me. I took the cupcake from Lily's hands and ran up to Professor Beery.
"I have something for you."
"What are you trying to do? Poison me, Katrina?" he asked, frowning.
"No, um… I just thought I would do something… nice for you," I said, handing him the cupcake.
He knocked the cupcake out of my hands. "If you think that giving me a cupcake is going to redeem yourself, then you're wrong. You need to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve if you actually want a chance in this world. Emotional outbursts don't get you too far in life—James Potter, stop trying to sing like a soprano—so what I suggest is that you leave me alone because there are very few ways that you can redeem yourself from your severe mistake."
I nodded, looking away; I was definitely blushing. Definitely. I could feel the blood in my cheeks and my sweaty palms on my Hogwarts robe.
Walking away stiffly, Lily caught up to me and asked, "How did it go?"
"Terrible," I said. "He absolutely refuses to give me another chance. I really hate myself for my mistakes."
"Don't get yourself down over this. Just keep trying. Roll up your sleeves and get dirty if that's what it takes. But I highly doubt it will because you can do this, Katrina! You can do it!"
"I know I can but that doesn't mean I don't doubt myself."
"Trust me, Katrina, as long as you keep trying, you can get it done."
"Katrina, I have an idea to get you into musical theatre next year," Lily said excitedly.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Well the Professor seems to be looking for some stage technicians to help with props and costumes. Maybe you could talk to Professor Beery about it," Lily said.
"Well, he definitely won't let me do it after the type of language I used...and all the things that I said," I mumbled, sighing as I pulled on my sleeve.
"It's always worth a shot Katrina. Besides, what's the worst thing that can happen?"
"I get detention for harassing a teacher?"
Lily laughed as she rolled her eyes. "Come on Katrina, I know you won't do that. You're better than that. Now seriously, what's the worst thing that can happen?"
"I get rejected?"
"See, now that's the spirit Katrina. But who can resist that cute little smile of yours." I felt the blood rush up to my cheeks and I giggled nervously. "Plus the way you blush when you get embarrassed and nervous is super cute," Lily added, flinching when I pretended to slap her.
"Can we please discuss realistic solutions to my problem?" I begged.
She proceeded to drag me by my sleeve, "Just go in there and do it. You totally can do it! I believe in you!"
I opened the door to the Professor's office quietly as Lily whispered to me, "You just need to believe in yourself."
Nodding, I entered the office, leaving Lily out in the hallway. "Professor, I have something to talk to you about," I pleaded.
"You know I told you that you weren't getting back into the musical. Not after your outburst," He hissed.
"I was just wondering if I could help-"
"No"
He's never going to let me do it. Especially not with the way that he's talking to me right now, he sounds like he's about to kick me out of his office, I thought.
"Look, I'm sorry for what I said!"
"It doesn't matter now. You're only sorry because you didn't make it into the musical. You're not sorry about what you said to me."
My cheeks flushed and I tugged at my sleeve in nervousness. "I am sorry for what I said. The words I said… I couldn't control my anger at you so it controlled me. And that made me blurt out things that I regret now. I'm sorry I let my anger take control of me. I shouldn't haven't gotten that angry about something so stupid."
"Katrina, I'm not sure if I'm ready to let you back into the musical just yet. You did learn an important lesson, but I am afraid to let you back in because it means that you won't learn anything from this and you'll just go back to acting like you did before. I just hope that this means that you'll be more willing to change and stop wearing your emotions on your sleeve. We all get emotions but we shouldn't let our emotions control us. Because you wore your heart on your sleeve, you reacted in a way that was likely uncharacteristic for you," He explained.
I stood there in silence for a few seconds. "'What about the musical next year?"
"Perhaps if you manage to redeem yourself, then I might think about casting you. The moment you were sorted into your house was when your audition began, which is a factor that I use when selecting people. For your audition, you performed beautifully, but that was fifty percent of the entire thing. If you manage to roll up your sleeves and impress me within this entire year with your capability to change, then I will consider casting you."
"Thanks Professor," I smiled, "Thanks for telling me."
I walked out of his office with a smile on my face. Sure I wasn't going to be in the musical this year, but that didn't really matter. I would send myself on a journey of self-improvement and selflessness in order to get into that musical.
Lily saw me coming out and she asked, "How did it go?"
"Well I'm not helping out with the musical this year, but that doesn't matter. Professor Beery said that if I continued to redeem myself for my mistakes he might consider casting me. So that's what I'm focusing on now."
"That's wonderful to hear. So are you going to do it?"
"Of course. I'd be insane not to."
Throughout that school year, I focused on making the school a better learning environment for everyone. I'd take time to tutor the students in younger years which was appreciated by them and their teachers. I also tried my best to promote intra-house bonding throughout the school because I thought it would help break the stereotypes down about each house. I wrote my OWLS and did my best and managed to receive eight. Before I knew it, we were back at school for our sixth year at Hogwarts.
I tried out for the musical once more and when I saw my name on the list, I knew that I had truly rolled up my sleeves and redeemed myself.
Words: 2044
House: Gryffindor
Category: Themed
Prompt: [Word] Sleeve
Year: 2
