A/N So I know I have a Klaine story going but I had this dancing around in my head so I decided it need to be written. And it helped me get past some dead spots. This is dedicated to my wonderful bestie Allison whose birthday it is today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLISONNNNNNN
Ahem… so anyway tell me what you think. Second Glee fic, first Puckurt fic.
Disclaimer: Not mine, but if it was there would be some John Mayer sung by Blaine, Linkin Park by Puck and Finn and lack of all things Rachel. And Mike Chang would never wear a shirt.
Puck should have never gone to Finn's house, sure, he and the lanky boy had been recently reunited as best bros, but they should have stuck to the routine they had gotten into and stayed at Puck's house.
Usually they stayed there because Puck would have to babysit his little sister, but today his mom was home from work and the two football players decided to play some Xbox at the Hudson-Hummel household.
At first Puck was happy for the change of scenery, until he realized that the scenery involved Kurt, who was wearing some sort of tight sweat-pant outfit thing while he did yoga in the same room they were in.
It wasn't like Hummel was bothering them or anything, he was off to the side so really, Puck didn't even have to look at him. But he was, secretly of course. He was not gay. But Hummel was bending over in these crazy positions and they were suddenly more interesting than Black Ops with Finn.
Puck wondered what it would be like to fuck someone, not Hummel per say, while they were in the position that Finn's stepbrother was currently in. He was leaning over and touching his toes…
"Dude, you just died again!" Finn complained. "Are you even trying?"
Puck quickly tore his eyes away off of Kurt, who was now bending himself in a pretzel shape. "Yeah dude, I'm just… I gotta headache alright? Jeez." Puck replied defensively.
Finn just groaned and started saying something, but Puck wasn't exactly paying attention because Kurt had just let out some weird gasping sound that was way too sexual to actually be yoga.
Even though he tried really hard, his eyes immediately shot to the effeminate boy, and Puck could have sworn that Kurt opened an eye and looked at him. The bastard had to be doing this on purpose.
"You're ignoring me." Finn whined crossing his long arms, and Puck glanced back at him.
"Pouts don't look good on you bro." Puck told Finn, whose face quickly loosened up from the frown he had been sporting. "And I'm not ignoring you, I told you my head hurts."
This is about when Hummel spoke up for the first time. "Maybe you should stop playing those dumb video games for a little while. I'm sure they aren't helping your headache." He then deeply inhaled and continued his weird stretching routine, probably unaware that Puck was staring with his mouth agape.
"Yeah, well I have to go pick my mom up anyway." Finn said look at his phone for the time. "You wanna come man? Or wanna just stay and wait for me?"
Ideally, Puck would go with Finn and by the time he got back Hummel would be done with whatever he was doing and out of sight. But of course, Puck couldn't play by the rules. "I'll just wait here. You won't be too long right?"
Finn shook his head and then grabbed his coat before walking out the door with a: "Be back soon."
When the door slammed behind Finn, Puck stretched out on the couch so that his view of Kurt was much more direct. Since Finn was gone he figured he didn't need to be as subtle. Kurt liked boys, and anyone who liked boys liked Puck, he was badass. Therefore, Kurt would be totally hot for Puck being an audience to his sexy yoga thing.
"Careful not to drool on the upholstery Puckerman." Came Hummel's voice from somewhere inside a pretzel of limbs. Puck jumped a little and looked around.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He replied innocently, although maybe he was drooling. But it wasn't like he was gay; Kurt was just… like a girl or something.
Hummel just shrugged before doing this bend thing that would most definitely make the most amazing sex position if only girls were more flexible, and more into anal. "Damn Hummel, you're fucking flexible."
Kurt gave a breathy laugh. "I know. Yoga comes in handy sometimes; and for more than just keeping me in fabulous shape."
Puck's jaw must have dropped. Was he talking about gay sex? It sounded like it to Puck, although everything sounded like sex to Puck, just not gay sex. His mind was suddenly filled with all of the things Hummel could do with that bendy body, and his lips? Hell yeah. Not that Puck was gay, but sex was sex and anal sex was better.
"Yeah I bet you can get into some kinky positions." Puck didn't realize that he had shifted his position so he was now even closer to the slowly stretching body of Kurt Hummel.
"Well I wouldn't know for certain, but I'm always up for a challenge." No way. Was Hummel flirting with him?
Puck suddenly went on autopilot, like it did every time someone flirted with him, since he was a natural at it. "Oh yeah? I'd totally take you up on that challenge." The thought that Kurt was a boy and he had just propositioned him did not occur to him until after the suggestion had been made. And it was too late by then.
Kurt stood up quickly and looked directly at Puck. "Did you just…" Kurt looked somewhat alarmed and a lot confused. "You're straight."
Puck let a small grin appear on his face. "I might be straight, but even I can see that you are damn fine Hummel. And I would so do you."
Kurt had the audacity to roll his eyes, and Puck was being totally sincere and putting on some of his best moves. Well maybe not his best because his shirt was still on.
"Listen Puckerman, even though you have amazing arms, and really great eyes, and you are easily the most diverse male in New Directions now that I am gone, I'm not that desperate that I'm just going to jump you." He paused. "And if you're totally kidding right now, it isn't funny."
There was a small silence before Puck spoke up. "You think I have amazing arms?"
Kurt folded his arms before he gave an appraising nod. "Yes they might be on my list top three best arms."
Puck was satisfied because hell yes, even dudes wanted to get a piece of the Puckasauras. "We should make out." Making out with a dude couldn't be that different.
Kurt paled. "No I don't think so." Then he added. "Finn and Carole will be back any minute." He started chewing slightly on a fingernail as if he was nervous.
"Right, well maybe some other time." Puck winked. "Because seriously that yogurt shit got me all hot."
"It's yoga Puck." Kurt said with a small smile. "And I should probably get back to it so I can finish in time for my moisturizing routine." Puck nodded eagerly.
Kurt finished up his yoga, and Puck watched him with no inhibitions this time. That is, of course until Finn and Carole walked back in.
"How's your headache?" Finn asked sitting down next to him.
Puck just shrugged. "It's throbbing." He said hoping that Kurt would get the sexual innuendo, and he shot a glance over to the other boy who rolled his eyes as he rolled up his mat.
"Oh. Well do you wanna take something? I think we have like asprin or something." Finn asked somewhat concerned.
The self-proclaimed badass shook his head. "Nah, it'll be fine." Now that Kurt is leaving, he silently added as he watched the smaller boy's ass as he walked away. "Let's just keep playing."
Later that night, after his moisturizing and showering, Kurt quickly texted Mercedes to tell her that she owed him fifty bucks. She texted back in disbelief: You seriously managed it?
Kurt just grinned to himself before sending her a longer text explaining exactly what had happened. He had never doubted his capabilities when it came to Puck, however he didn't realize at the time how much he would end up wanting to actually take the other up on his suggestion. He kept that last part out of the text.