Mistakes

Falling back onto the ground, spitting up his own blood, he was glad his life wasn't flashing before his eyes, because he didn't want to relive all the huge, monumental mistakes he made to get here.

His body had collapsed, so he didn't feel much pain. In fact, he didn't feel anything at all. But to his horror, his mind was still working at even though his life wasn't flashing before his eyes; he could remember all his mistakes.

He could have prevented all this, if he had only been stronger. His nephews would be still alive, he wouldn't lay here dying and he wouldn't have endangered his friends and family. But the most he regretted, was threatening his little burglar. He wanted to throw his little hobbit over the wall, just because he had tried to save them all. Save them all from him, Thorin Oakenshield, the king under the mountain, who does not deserve his kingdom and the friendship of the hobbit, let alone said hobbit's love.

The hobbit who stole the arkenstone and gave it to men and elves in order to free him of his sickness. The brave hobbit who saved him from Azog and from Thranduil's dungeon. The wonderful hobbit who left his home in order to help him regain his.

Hopefully his little hobbit left. He would never forgive him for the things he said to his burglar at the gate and he would never forgive himself for wanting to kill his beloved burglar, but if something had happened to the hobbit, he would forever be damned. His soul would never be able to find peace when the hobbit was wounded because of his foolishness.

He didn't regret meeting the hobbit. He didn't regret falling in love with said hobbit either. He just regrets that he wasn't able to apologize to him and to earn his burglar's forgiveness. It was clear to him that he would never earn the trust or even the hobbit's heart, not even, if he should survive, which was very unlikely. But he would have done everything to earn even the least bit of forgiveness from his burglar, his hobbit, his Bilbo.

He was brought back from his thoughts by a violent cough. He could feel more blood dripping out of his mouth and he could feel exhaustion taken over.

He didn't want to go. Not without seeing his Bilbo one last time. Not without apologising to his hobbit.

Somewhere, from far away, he could hear someone calling his name, calling out for him. But he didn't care. He knew his last wish wouldn't be granted, so why bother?

He just closed his eyes, ready to let go as someone shook his by his shoulders.

"Thorin, please, wake up! Thorin! Please, don't leave me!"

This voice. It sounded like his hobbit's voice. But that couldn't be true. Surely his mind was just playing awful tricks on him. But he had to make sure.

With all his willpower, he forced himself to reopen his eyes and he found himself staring into the face of his sweet burglar. The hobbit was crying and covered in blood, but as soon as his beautiful brown eyes met his own, a small smile appeared on Bilbo's face.

"Thorin!"

"My burglar…", he reached up with his hand and caressed the hobbit's cheek with his thumb.

Bilbo immediately nuzzled into his palm. "I thought you dead!"

"Not yet… oh, please, Bilbo, forgive me. I have done you wrong. The words I have spoken, they weren't truth. I know it's no excuse and I know I will never have your full forgiveness and trust, but I didn't mean the thing I said at the gate. My mind was poisoned and I was corrupted by the arkenstone!"

"Thorin, you must save your strength!"

"No, let me speak! I am sorry for dragging you away from home and I am sorry I doubted you. But the thing I regret the most is, that I endangered you and almost killed you!", at this point he could feel tears flowing down his cheek, "I am not worthy of your trust and forgiveness and I am definitely not worth of your love, but know this, Bilbo Baggins, not only did you stole the arkenstone, but you also stole my heart!"

"Thorin, you stubborn dwarf! You stupid and stubborn dwarf!"

With that his hobbit leaned down to him. Only inches were separating their faces and he could feel the other's warm breath on his blood covered lips.

"And you have stolen mine!", Bilbo whispered before closed the space between same and sealing his blood covered mouth with his own.

His mind was clouded and he forgot the world around him as his burglar kissed him softly. For a moment he even forgot that he was lying injured and bleeding on the ice, his arch enemy dead a few feet away.

Bilbo pulled away eventually and his hazel eyes stared down at him.

"I just wish we had more time…", Bilbo's voice broke and more tears were escaping his eyes.

"We will! I will wait till your time has come and then, if you still want me, we can be together, as one!"

"Of course I want you! And I have forgiven you, actually I never blamed you. I just wish things were different…I wish it wouldn't hurt so much!"

"Bilbo-", he was interrupted as Bilbo shook his head and sealed his lips ones more, before pulling away and resting his curly hair on his barely rising chest.

"Just be silent and let enjoy this last moment, before we-"

"-depart!", he finished.

Bilbo nodded. "You promise you will wait?"

"Till the end of the world!"

Hope you liked it!

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Greetings

Inkognito! ;D