This chapter takes place while Lily and the Marauders are in their fifth year. The part at the very end is the exact part from "Order of the Phoenix" only in Lily's point of view. Enjoy!
I, obviously, do not own anything from the books, as I am not JK Rowling.
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"Not this again."
I picked up the flowers that had been placed on my desk in the Transfiguration classroom and put them on the floor under the table in the hopes that no one would see them.
When will he give this up? I am never going to go out with him! He is an arrogant, bigheaded, jerk!
…A really cute arrogant, bigheaded, jerk.
NO! I said to myself, internally. Pull yourself together Lily! James Potter is nothing more than the scum on your shoes! Don't give him the satisfaction of even thinking about him!
But I couldn't stop thinking about him, not when he came into class and winked at me as he sat down in the chair in right front of mine, not even when Professor McGonagall began to teach the lesson, and especially not as James ran his fingers through his amazing jet black hair.
By the time class was over, I had "Mrs. Lily Potter" drawn across my parchment about a hundred times. I was completely pathetic.
As I walked toward the Gryffindor Common Room, clutching the flowers from James in my left hand, I realized, with a sinking feeling, that no matter how many times I shot him down, or told him off, or tried to tell myself that I didn't like him, my feelings for him were not going to go away: I could no longer deny to myself that I was totally in love with James Potter.
I walked toward the Fat Lady, and was about to say the password when she pointed to the flowers in my hand.
"Mr. Potter sent you flowers again?"
I cringed and said "yes." Even the portraits knew that he wouldn't leave me alone!
I gave the Fat Lady the password (Dragon Pox), and walked through the portrait hole, all the way up to the girl's dormitory. When I entered the room I saw that it was almost completely empty, except one of my best friends, Mary.
"James sent you flowers again?" She asked, eyeing the flowers that were still in my hand.
"Yes," I sighed, dropping everything I had been carrying down on my bed, and then I sat down. "He will never give up, Mary. He is going to keep bugging me for the rest of my life!"
Mary rolled her eyes. "I don't understand why you don't just go out with him. He obviously likes you, plus he's totally cute, and smart, and funny, and he's a really good Quidditch player!"
"I can't, Mary. I just can't."
"Well I can," she said, wiggling her eyebrows up and down.
"Don't you dare! If you go out with him I will never speak to you again."
"Okay, okay," she said, holding her hands up like people do in the movies when confronted by a police officer.
She may have been one of my best friends, but Mary didn't know that I had a thing for James. I'd never told her; I'd never told anyone. So when I snapped at her, she thought it was because I hated James, not because the thought of James with someone else broke my heart into a million little pieces.
I got up off my bed and made my way toward the door.
"I have to go now, Mary, I told Severus that I'd meet up with him during break to study for O.W.L.s."
"Ugh, why do you hang out with him?"
"You don't understand," I said quietly, my hand resting on the handle of the door. "You don't know him like I do. He's not like you think he is."
And with that, I left the room.
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"Let's take a break," I told Severus, closing the Defense Against the Dark Arts book in my hands.
"I saw that James Potter left you flowers again," he said quickly, as if he had been getting up the courage to say this to me the entire time we had spent together. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to think of a response to give him.
"I told you that he fancies you," he said, saving me the effort.
"I know he fancies me! It's not a big deal, Sev. I really don't understand why you hate him so much. Yes, he is a bigheaded prat," I said, in order to make the look of disbelief on my best friend's face disappear, "but he's harmless, really, Sev!"
"Harmless? Please! He's an ass; he's completely full of himself. How can you say that he's not that bad? What, do you fancy him too?"
Here it is, clear as the sky overhead, the reason that I could never date James Potter. How could I date someone that my best friend hates? And even if I could have gotten Severus to change his mind about James, would I have been able to get James to change his mind about Sev? No, I was better off leaving things the way they were, lest I lose everything.
"You know I don't fancy him, Sev, we've been through this before. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's keep studying, O.W.L.s are a week away."
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A week later, after our Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L., I sat with a few of my friends at the edge of the Black Lake. Our shoes were off and our feet were dangling in the lake; the cool water felt good on that hot day.
"How do you think you did on the exam?" Mary asked me as she mindlessly kicked her feet in the water.
"I think I did all right."
"I messed up on the question on the five ways to identify a Werewolf, I think."
We continued to chat about the Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L., and about the Transfiguration O.W.L. the following day. Every once in a while I would look over to the tree where James and his friends were sitting. James was showing off, catching and releasing a Snitch for the amusement of his friend Peter. He was such a prat.
…But he was my prat.
I stopped admiring James for a while to chat with my friends. It was such a beautiful day outside, it was so relaxing to be out under the sun on a day like that.
Soon, though, my relaxation was disturbed by a commotion behind me.
I turned around.
"Scourgify." James said, pointing his wand at Severus.
I felt anger boil up inside of me. Why couldn't he just leave poor Sev alone?
I got up and walked over to where James was standing with his best friend, Sirius Black.
"Leave him ALONE."
James looked at me, and his hand sprang to his hair, rumpling it up so it wouldn't be too neat.
"All right, Evans?" Normally my heart would have fluttered when he said my name, but not today.
"Leave him alone," I repeated, "What's he done to you?"
"Well it's more the fact that he exists if you know what I mean…"
The others around me laughed, but I reached my boiling point. He was torturing Sev, publicly humiliating my best friend, just because he could. In this moment I hated James, I couldn't understand what I had ever seen in him.
"You think you're funny, but you're just an arrogant, bullying, toerag, Potter. Leave him alone."
"I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go on… go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing (well actually I could, because James said things like that to me all the time). Not only was he bullying my best friend, he was also bribing me, and lying to my face. Did he really think that I believed he would stop tormenting Sev if I went out with him? It was then that the illusion truly shattered. I would never go out with James Potter. I would never so much as look his way again.
"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you or the Giant Squid."
"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius said to James.
As I fought the urge to slap Sirius across the face, Sev reached his wand and pointed it at James.
"OY!" Sirius yelled. There was a flash of light, and a gash appeared on James' face. With another flash of light, Sev was hanging upside down and his pants had fallen, revealing his graying underpants.
The hilarity of the situation finally dawned on me, and I struggled not to join in as my peers laughed.
I quickly composed myself and said "let him down," to James.
"Certainly," James said. "Locomotor Mortis."
Severus' body fell to the ground, completely rigid.
"LEAVE HIM ALONE," I yelled, and I pulled out my wand.
"Ah! Evans," James said, looking wary, "don't make me hex you."
"Take the curse off him, then." James, still eyeing my wand, complied.
"There you go," James said to Sev, "you're lucky Evans was here Snivellus-"
"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her."
I froze. It was as if time itself had stopped. I couldn't believe it. Severus, my best friend. We'd been friends for years and now, now of all times, he does this. Had he always felt this way? Had he always called me a Mudblood behind my back?
I hid my emotions about Sev's betrayal, and addressed him coldly.
"Fine, I won't bother in the future," I said. "And I'd wash my pants if I were you Snivellus," I added, adopting the name that James and Sirius liked to call him, further distancing myself from my former friend.
Apologize to Evans!" James yelled at Severus.
Again emotion filled me. Not only had I lost my best friend, but I had discovered the true colors of the one who I thought I had loved. This was too much for me.
"I don't want you to make him apologize! You're as bad as he is…"
"What?" asked James, looking highly offended. "I'd NEVER call you a- you-know-what!"
I rounded on him, once again letting my anger boil over.
"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can- I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!"
Without waiting for a response I turned on my heel and walked toward the castle, facing away from James and Severus so they would not notice that tears were spilling out of my eyes.
"Evans. Hey, EVANS!" James yelled from behind me.
But I didn't look back.
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Hope you liked it! I'm not sure when I'll be posting the next chapter; I want to space it out because I've only got the first four written so far. It won't be too long though. Any reviews would be much appreciated!
