Eric Cartman sneered with disgust as he watched the two super best friends laugh. He couldn't stand it, couldn't take how absolutely…homosexual they looked together.
"Cartman, my man, what's up with you? You're eyeing Stan and Kyle like you want a piece." Kenny said, taking a seat next to the brunette.
"Shut the hell up! The only piece I want of those two…are their heads, on a silver platter if possible." Eric huffed, while the blond laughed and slung an arm over his shoulder.
"What's your beef? I think it's great they're such good friends, just look how cute they are!"
"Cute? It's pure filth! I can't stand that tree huggin' hippy, and his little Jewloop." The larger teen, roughly pushed the arm away quickly pointed a finger at the giggling pair. "I'm gonna buy them matching dildos if they don't knock it off!"
"Jewloop?" Kenny asked, tilting his head slightly.
"Jewloop; A fruit loop whom is also a Jew. But that's the least of this problem!" Just then, Stan and Kyle came waltzing up to the lunch table, arm in arm.
"Hey Dudes, what's up?" Kyle asked. Eric raised an eyebrow, and Kenny bit his lip worriedly. This would not end well.
"When's the wedding? I don't believe I've received my invitation yet." Eric bit, his tone cold.
Stan pulled Kyle a little closer and frowned. "What are you getting at Fatass?"
"You two, you're so gay for each other! You're in love!" Eric wailed. He couldn't believe how dense the they were.
"No! You've got it all wrong!" Kyle said, pulling away from Stan, but only slightly, before clearing his throat. "This is guy love."
"-What?"
"-What?"
Stan grinned and pulled out his wallet. Flipping it open, he revealed a picture of him and the shorter Jewish Teen. "He's my Kylee Bear and I'm his Stan-The-Man."
"Oh for Fuck's sake, I'm getting new friends!" Eric yelled, while Kenny stared with slight awe.
"Let's explain our guy love!" Stan announced loudly, grabbing the redhead's waist.
"It's guy love, that's all it is. Guy love, he's mine I'm his!" Kyle sang, slinging an arm around his best friend. Stan nodded and added,
"There's nothing wrong with it,"
"Bullshit!" Eric called out, hopping to put a stop this public display of gayness.
"-In our eyes!"
By now the group had caught the eyes of most everyone eyes in the lunch room. All watched with boredom or utter excitement.
"We're closer than the average man and wife!" The two sing in unison, holding up their matching friendship bracelets.
"Goddamn it you guys, stop this before I…I kick you square in the…BALLS!" The brunette yelled, hardly being heard over the singing.
"Just let it grow more and more each day!" The redhead harmonized, signaling Stan his verse.
"It's like I married my best friend." Stan sang an octave or two higher than normal. And Kyle, desperately trying to hold back his laughter, gave a thumbs up.
There was a reason why Stan was his guy lover. Who else would be willing to do a number like this in such a public place?
"-But in a totally manly way." Kyle chimed in.
"Lets' go!" They made a very dramatic slide across the cafeteria floor and continued their duet.
The blonde's eyes widened even more. "Holy shit…" Kenny muttered. This was a bit much, even for him.
"Its guy love, don't comprise; the feeling of some other guy, holding up your heart into the sky!"
"I'll be there to care through all the lows," Stan brushed a stray hair away from Kyle's face. Not even noticing all the catcalls.
"And I'll be there to share the highs." Kyle motioned to the ceiling and smiled.
"ENOUGH! That's it, screw you guys I'm going home!" Eric said, grabbing his book bag and storming out of the lunch room.
Kenny gave the two boys a strange look, before he too grabbed his things and slowly made his way out as well. He was not only frightened, but somewhat disturbed.
"So...uh, basketball after school?" Stan asked after a long silence.
"Sure dude."
A/N: So in short, this was my take on Kyle and Stan doing a duet in the lunch room. I did change up some words though. I've got problems! Yes, this proves it. But I hope you enjoy my problems as much as I enjoy writing them. To those who haven't seen Guy Love from Scrubs, I highly recommend it! Also, please remember I own nothing.