A/N: I said I'd do this fic, so here I am.
For the record, though, I personally am Christian, and I try to keep an open mind. I am NOTHING like this guy, because that isn't what Christianity is about, not in the slightest. I believe you shouldn't hate people, especially for almost no reason, and I refuse to accept the crap that this guy accepts as Christianity. It's more like radical Islam, if you ask me, especially with the whole slaughtering nonbelievers part.
And there's also the fact that his grammar and spelling is apparently horrendous, which would offend any self-respecting author such as myself.
Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Believer in Christ: Hello Jesus!

Jesus: Hello my son. Sorry to break it to you, but I don't think that's Jesus you're talking to. In fact, you're probably only imagining you're talking to him.

Believer in Christ: Am I saved by writing this story. Nope. Bible says that you're only saved through pure faith, rather than the things you do. Nowhere does it say that writing a crappy fanfic about some twisted radical Republican version of Christianity will actually get you to heaven.

Jesus: Yes my son.

Believer in Christ: Good. Now should I go hunt down those Satanists.

Jesus: Yes my son.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Bible, God does. I will not feel sorry for using Percy Jackson as it is evil and should not have a disclaimer. I would sure like to tell Rick Riordan that. I'm sure he will sue your ass in seconds, and he would totally win.

Being Together The Army

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. -Proverbs 16:18

I am Jerry and I am a prayer warrior. I am a servent of the lord and will do anything to get rid of evil Gods. Lately the Satanic leader Percy Jackson Hey! Don't diss Percy! And anyway, he's not Satanic. Just because it's not from the Bible, or doesn't have anything to do with it, doesn't mean it's Satanic. has taken over much of the land, along with his Satanic Army and his girlfriend whore. Annabeth's not a whore! She has sex with other people just to get Satanic money. Can money even be Satanic? I mean, it's only a means of payment for stuff. That means that I have to get an army together of Christians, so that we can defeat the servents of Satan, and defeat his evil puppets, the false greek gods, who are in fact a lie created by Satan to poison peoples mind.

Take heed to thyself that thou be not snared by following them, after that they be destroyed from before thee; and that thou enquire not after their gods, saying, How did these nations serve their gods? even so will I do likewise. – Deuteronomy 12:30

"Hello my fellow Christian" I told Mary, who is named after Jesuss Mother. I and her It's her and I, not I and her. You need to learn some grammar, dude. are not dating, if you Satanic scum think that there is something Satanic going on. Hey, I wasn't saying anything. You were the one who brought it up. Methinks thou dost protest too much. We are dating, But you just said you weren't dating! Jeez, make up your mind. but we are not having Sex What's with the random capitalization of the word "sex?"until we get married. But because we are 15, it means that it is going to be while before we do such a thing. I would certainly hope so.

"Yes Jerry, how are you. Have you been doing the lords biddings?" she asked me. I nodded my head and then she took out the bible and we read the first Chapter of Genesis, which is about the the creation of the world. We talk about how God was so good that he was kind to create a great world as we live in.

"He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. -Proverbs 18:13

Then we discuss about how Satan had poisoned the world by inventing false gods such as Zeus and Venus, who were sex gods For the record, Zeus is the god of the skies and king of Mount Olympus. Although he can be a manwhore sometimes. which is against the Ten commandments. Like Satan gives a crap about the Ten Commandments.

"I need an Army to defeat the evil leader Percy Jackson" I asked her. Percy's not evil! He's awesome! I wanted an army so that I could defeat this Satanist and his ungodly army. Last time I checked, there was no devil-worshipping going on in the PJO series. This is America which is a Christian nation, so Satanist, athesit, hindu, muslims, buddhist, and any other non-god fearing people, who worshiped false gods, should not be allowed in this God fearing Nation. Actually, America is a country that supports freedom of religion. It even says in the First Constitutional Amendment that the government is not supposed to make laws that ban any kind of religion. Get your facts straight, Jerry Boy. We must get rid of them, and make them slaves, Slavery was banned with the passing of the 13th Amendment. Someone doesn't know anything about the Constitution, do they? if they agree to being a fellow Christian. Once they truly believe in God and his son, Jesus, then would we release them to bring glory to God and his son. If they still did not believe, we would burn then, just as their fellow Satanist did when they refused to worship our lord Jesus Christ. If you're looking for some Satanists to burn, I suggest you do us all a favor, Jerry Boy, and start with that one. *Points to Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way* "I want to bring Glory to God"

Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not spare children.-Isaiah 13:18

"Then I will show you my Christian friends. You will not find a ungodly one among them. There are as clean as you can get them" Is it just me, or does that sound more like an advertisement for fish at a supermarket than someone talking about her friends? "Nice, fresh fish! They're as fresh as you can get them!" she told me. She had a her hair tied back so that it would not get in her and not look like a Satanic whore. Since when is it Satanic to wear your hair down? I do it all the time, and it's no big deal. She also made sure that her skirt did not show any of her legs, or else it would be a sin for a man such as myself to look at it. What are you anyway, Amish?

And that was when I got message that a follower of the Satanic leader Percy Jackson. He was there to force people in believing in false gods that made their followers get naked and perform Satanic killings. Must I repeat myself again? Percy isn't evil and Satanic! Not in the slightest!

Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness. -Leviticus 18:19

But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die. -Deuteronomy 18:20

So I went down stair to face the false prophet. He was a believer in false nature gods, such as Pan, who is Satan in disguise. He had big Satanic horns, so that everyone that was Christian could tell that he was a Satanist. Yes, 'cause all Satanists have big huge devil horns. They also wear a huge sign on their heads saying, "I'm a Satanist! I worship the devil 'cause he's way cooler than God!" "Believe in my god Pan" said the Satyr. "I am Grover Grover? Seriously? Do you realize how out of character this is for him, Thomas? and I am servent of Pan and Satan, who are great gods. They are better then God and Jesus"

He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed. -Exodus 22:20

So to defeat this Satanic scum, me, Mary and one of her Christian friends that was there, her name was Ruth, prayed to God and our lord Jesus Christ, to bring down this false prophet. And behold, a group of locus came from the heavens and ate Grover alive. No part of his body, other then his guts and his brains, was left. No even his bones remained. Poor Grover! What'd he ever do to you? He didn't deserve that, even if he is supposedly a Satanist!

And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand over the land of Egypt for the locusts, that they may come up upon the land of Egypt, and eat every herb of the land, even all that the hail hath left. -Exodus 10:12

So we brought glory to God. We killed a sheep so that we can say thanks to God. I didn't know animal sacrifice even existed anymore... Then we went back church and prayed some more. We read the Bible and how Paul convert many people to God. Then Marys friends came and we made them members of the Order of the Prayer

Their children also shall be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses shall be spoiled, and their wives ravished. -Isaiah 13:16

Believers in Christ: Thank you for read this and I hope you have turn to the glory of God and his eternal son Jesus Christ, the greatest thing to ever happen to this earth. May all that read this be Jesus: You done me well son. Believer in Christ: Thank you my lord for giving me live You mean life? and allow me to write this. Amen.

Well, first chapter down! A whole lot more chapters to go!