Title: It's Hard Being a Girl

Author: paws-bells

Beta-ed by: MelissaRose85

Characters/Pairing: Nami and Monkey D. Luffy

Type: Two-Shot (InComplete)

Genre: Romance/General/Humor

Word Count: 5650

Rating: M (Contains content suitable for mature teens and older)

Disclaimer: One Piece belongs to Oda-sensei.

Summary: Post Time Skip. GenBen. Chaos erupts on the Thousand Sunny when Luffy is accidentally turned into a girl. Nami is not a happy camper, and what's with this constant urge to molest her Captain?

Chapter Last Revised on: 17/05/13

Chapter One

He was unexpectedly small for a woman.

Not for the first time, Nami could only stare at her Senchou and quietly lament to herself just why was it that they never could enjoy a nice, ordinary adventure for once, goddammit. Was something as simple as normalcy so impossible to ask for?

"Nami! What am I s'posed to do with these weird thingies! Help!" The bewildered and increasingly irritated bellow of the recently turned Monkey D. Luffyko jolted the orange-haired Navigator from her thoughts, and frowning, Nami reluctantly waded into the latest mess that he had gotten himself into, barely resisting the urge to twitch as she contemplated this unbelievably ridiculous situation.

Here she was, trying her best to educate her muscle headed Captain on how to fit his recently grown breasts into the bra that she had barely convinced him was necessary for him to wear now that he/she had temporarily turned into a girl, and it was taking everything Nami could do not to reach over and strangle the idiot as she watched him somehow entangle himself around the straps even more than he already had.

"Na~mi!" he was whining in his usual exasperating manner but his currently gender altered voice box added a womanly, innocently sexy quality to his normally boyish lilt. The fact that he was currently jumping up and down, his now delicately feminine face scrunched cutely in frustration, did not help – he was quite steadily working himself towards an imminent temper tantrum – but right at this moment all of his petulant actions just translated to a giant 'kawaii' to her confused, overwhelmed mind. He was unabashedly naked as the day he was born; his already lean and wiry male body now even smaller in his female form. Much to his displeasure, he had shrunk several inches in height from his transformation, and, barring Chopper, was now the shortest member in the entire crew. His body shape was almost waifish – tiny waist, shapely hips, long, lean legs. He was slender to the point of being skinny, except for the pair of full, perky boobs that almost seemed too large for his slim figure, coincidentally showcasing the amazing Gomu Gomu properties of his Devil Fruit abilities by being unbelievably bouncy.

It was distracting as hell.

Even as she watched, those breasts were jiggling merrily every which way, going boing, boing, boing with every movement he made, and their apparent firmness and springiness were nearly enough to make even her turn green with envy. Nami didn't know if she should feel depressed that her male Captain had grown nicer boobs than she did, or appalled that they looked so invitingly irresistible that a part of her was tempted to reach over and grab at his abundant, overflowing chest to give them a good squeeze or ten. The fact that his narrow, boyish features had changed as well, became softer and more feminine, was not helping her conflicted situation any. His eyes were now even larger than before, fringed with thick sooty lashes that accentuated his innocent doe like gaze, and his lovely face was small and elfish, complete with a pert little nose and delectably full, pouting lips that all but begged her to do highly questionable things to him. Even the scar under his left eye did nothing to detract to his overwhelming attractiveness; if anything, it only added to his already considerable appeal, lending him a mischievous, impishly naughty air that was downright impossible to ignore.

He was just so unbelievably cute, even more than he already was, and Nami was struck by the most ridiculous urge to squish him to her own ample bosom and molest him to her contentment.

The orange-haired navigator turned a dull shade of red. She visibly recoiled at her thoughts, and immediately felt like banging her head against the nearest flat surface in an effort to get rid of them. What was she, a perverted old man?

No wonder Sanji had barricaded himself in the galley and refused to go near their Senchou until he turned back to normal – apparently, thanks to his involuntary two years' stay in Kamabakka Kingdom, the cook had accrued plenty of experience with just how misleading such situations could be and would rather not be caught in the middle of this one if he could help it. As for the other men of their crew, they had all taken a collective step back and away from Luffyko (who had been hyperventilating and freaking out in the background, trying to grab at his now nonexistent kintama and failing) after the customary incredulous gawk-point-and-laugh session had been dispensed with, more than eager to turn the responsibility of the care of their Captain to the two females on the ship now that he was evidently of the fairer sex.

And Robin, she had just chuckled lightly above the ensuing chaos and promised to search the library for any clues that would reveal just how long their Captain's latest…affliction would last, which naturally only left Nami to deal with the care of one Monkey D. Luffyko in the meantime.

Oh god, why? Why did she have to be the one who ended up stuck with this?!

The this in question of course referred to a certain derpy, insanely powerful rubber Captain whom she loyally served (and sometimes questioned why exactly she did so – this was one of those times), but only now in female form – which naturally made him twice as troublesome.

Long story short, thanks to an accidental chance meeting with a certain Emporio Ivankov (how Sanji had yelled in displeasure and protest when the Queen and his ever faithful second-in-command had boarded the Thousand Sunny) and through a series of stupidly comical events and actions that had resulted in an entirely unintentional injection of the devastatingly effective Emporio Onna Hormone, the Captain of the infamous Mugiwara kaizoku was now a changed person – literally.

He was a woman.

This was a (hopefully) temporary problem and the entire crew was now working in concert to reverse the matter of their Senchou's gender, though the process was not as simple or as straightforward as one would hope.

First of all, the affectionately dubbed 'Iva-chan' was no longer on their ship. The crazy, completely unpredictable weather patterns of the New World had proved absolute once again, and in what had seemed like a blink of an eye, a powerful, freak storm had engulfed the previously peaceful stretch of sea that the Thousand Sunny and the Revolutionary Army Commander's ship were on, forcing the crews of both vessels to return to their respective stations and pull up their anchors to avoid being sunk by the turbulent waves. Within a matter of minutes, the two seagoing crafts were blown off course from each other, completely separated with all forms of communication cut off. By the time the ugly storm finally receded, there was no sign of the Queen's ship anywhere on the horizon, and Luffy…was still a woman.

So now, the entire crew was dedicated to the task of reuniting with Emporio Ivankov and his ship. Everyone was eager for their Captain to turn back to normal – it was just plain odd having to adjust to a female Luffy, and most of the males onboard – with the sole exception of Chopper – tended to pause and hesitate when it came to interacting with him now. That was not to say that Luffy had suffered a complete personality change after his rather unfortunate gender switch – that was the problem, actually. The nineteen year old was still rambunctious, perpetually restless and overly spirited as always, but since he was up to his usual antics in a female form, the crew did not quite know what to make of him.

After getting over the initial meltdown that had resulted as a reaction towards his new form (it had taken awhile before it was finally hammered home by a speculating Robin that he would likely return to normal once the hormone injection wore off, faster if they could find Ivankov first and have him reverse the effects right away), their black-haired Captain was quickly back to his loud, obnoxious self. Usually, the crew had no problem with this, being more than able to rein him in with kicks and/or hard thumps to the head if need be, but he was a girl now, and even though they all knew that he was the same knucklehead captain under that ridiculously feminized exterior, it was downright impossible to interact with him in the violent, roughshod way they typically did. Of course, there was Zoro who had no qualms decking the Captain over the head with the hilt of his sword no matter what he looked like so long as he deserved the reprimand, but the others tended to be more reserved for now, and like a shark scenting fresh blood, once Luffy picked up on that hesitation, he had had a field day exploiting the crew's weakness, mercilessly subjecting them to the utter cuteness of his new features and gleefully manipulating the bewildered gaggle of males with large innocent eyes and clumsy feminine wiles – all for the love of meat.

Men. So stupid, the lot of them.

Robin had found the entire situation a rather comical episode in the long, stupidly dramatic sitcom that was their pirate life out at sea, but Nami was nowhere near as amused. This was especially true after she had to witness her idiot Captain repeatedly and (usually) inadvertently flashing his amazing bouncy cleavage and parts of his perky backside to various members of their crew throughout the day, causing chaos and mayhem in forms ranging from massive nosebleeds to appalled horror and anguished yells of self-disgust. It was quite obvious by now; Luffyko might have gained an astonishingly shapely and womanly form, but in no way did he carry himself with the delicacy and propriety required of a female to protect her modesty.

It was the exact opposite if anything; he was completely obnoxious as usual, sitting with his legs wide open, his red shirt carelessly unbuttoned as always and barely covering his assets. He would pick at his nose with the expertise of a gold mining veteran, then absently reach down with his hand to relieve an itch at his crotch in full view of just about anyone in the vicinity. He ate with the table manners of a Neanderthal, food flying every which way and his meat-laden mouth gaping wide open as he chewed, then belching loudly and scratching at his armpit without a care in the world. He still threw his head back and laughed uproariously when the mood struck him, braying like a donkey as he did so. He also attempted to fart out the entire Japanese Phonetic Alphabet, all in the form of Luffyko.

The entire male crew had been deeply traumatized. After all, what had been seen could not be unseen, no matter how desperately they prayed for it to be otherwise.

It was already bad enough when the good Captain was up to his appalling shenanigans as an idiotic teenaged boy with the equivalent mental capacity of an eternal seven year old. However, when he did it in the form of a woman – a particularly vivacious, downright cute and adorable-looking young woman, if Nami might so add – it had immediately felt like a personal affront to the indignant Navigator. Luffyko was destroying the image of women all over the world (more like thrashing it, kicking it around in the dirt, peeing on it, then pouring gasoline on it and setting it on fire for good measure), and she would be damned if she just sat by and watched him commit this unforgiveable crime against womankind.

The last straw came when their resident pervert skeleton musician had decided to try his luck with Luffyko-chan (evidently a woman was a woman no matter what his/her gender had previously been and/or would be), gallantly asking in his genteel, Old World manner for a sacred view of panties, only for the boy-turned-girl to blink at him with those large, innocuous doe eyes and comment quite frankly (and loudly) that he/she didn't wear any.

Brook had proceeded to pass out in a cloud happy delirium even as the other men in the crew took turns stomping him into the ground for asking such grossly inappropriate and disturbingly discomforting requests of their Captain. The fact that a couple of them had tissues stuffed up their nostrils was purely an act of coincidence. They were also tempted to not spare their idiot Senchou a whack or ten as well for actually answering the damn question but he was still inconveniently in girl form, and after his comment about a conspicuous lack of undergarments on his person, no one was all that eager to go near him, in the interests of avoiding any potential self-conflicts and confusion over personal sexual preferences since they really had no idea how to classify his gender right now.

Thankfully enough, Nami had no such compulsion. The fuming orange-haired Navigator wasted no time stepping in and swiftly administering a few well deserved thumps to the black-haired teenager's head (girl or not) before dragging him out of the galley by the ear and up to the privacy of the Sunny's bath for some quick instructions on the dos and don'ts of feminine etiquette. He had whined and complained the entire way, but she had held fast and hauled him off regardless of his objections.

So now here they were. Nami had made him take a quick shower since he was completely filthy – it was a challenge in itself getting him to do so and he had protested long and loud about it since it wasn't time for his weekly bathing session yet, but she wouldn't hear a word otherwise and in the end he had reluctantly yielded to her, sulking the entire way. And now that he was done, he was still pouting at her, sticking out a lusciously pink bottom lip and muttering unflattering indignities under his breath.

"This is stupid," he grumbled disgruntledly, picking irritably at the straps of the weird underclothes that women liked to wear. "I don't see what's the big deal anyway. I never had to wear these dumb things before. Why do I have to start now?"

The way that he was sullenly stretching the elastic material of the halter style bra that she had generously loaned him (surprisingly enough, they were around the same size) made her twitch, and when he started casting around the bathroom for projectiles to load into the generous cups of his new makeshift slingshot (he was going to call it the Great Booby Pachinko), her irritation finally boiled over and her fist immediately descended upon his head. Hard.

"Stop doing stupid, unnecessary things and just put on the damn thing!" roared Nami in demon!mode, eyes glowing an unholy shade of crimson and huge jagged fangs lining her mouth. She was also waving a clenched, threatening fist at him, reminding him not so gently that she was not above using violence to get her way. Such drastic actions were the usual norm of their dysfunctional relationship – when they happened to not be depending on each other in life and death situations, that was. Unlike the other two of the Mugiwara Monster Trio, sex appeal did not work on him and he was also not intimidated by threats of impending financial ruin, and therefore the simplest way to get him in line was to have her fist do the talking for her.

It seemed that she might have overdone it this time, though, for instead of jumping right up and complaining about her actions like he usually would (and then quickly apologizing for his various misdeeds through his various bumps and lumpy bruises after she administered another well-deserved beating with her Fist of Love), tears welled up in his huge, soulful eyes as he looked at her in a particularly betrayed manner. Thanks to his feminized appearance, the newly dubbed Luffyko looked like a wounded fawn that had been wronged many times over, and despite herself, Nami started to feel bad for causing such a cute face to look so hurt.

Fortunately, her remorseful feeling didn't take long to fade. Girl or not, he was still Luffy, after all.

"Nami, you are so meaaaaannn!" he accused tearily, looking and behaving too much like a woman for Nami to be entirely comfortable dealing with him. "That hurts, you jerk!"

Until this entire gender switch crisis happened, the orange-haired Navigator had never realized just how much her Captain could carry on like a spoilt little princess when the mood suited him. It was a wonder that the crew had tolerated some of his more brattish antics up till now. Much to her disbelief, he was playing right into the role of an injured maiden, and even more ridiculous was her growing urge to do something completely uncharacteristic like draw him into her arms and apologize for making him cry, of all things.

The fact that he was still standing there right in front of her, buck naked, was not helping any.

So, she couldn't hit him and she couldn't yell at him.

Nami resisted the urge to massage her temples. Now she knew why no one onboard wanted to deal with this all too disturbing situation.

"…just put on your clothes. Please, Luffy…ko," she muttered at last.

Her Senchou frowned at that, his exaggerated crocodile tears quickly disappearing now that he had no further use for them. Come to think of it, none of her attacks probably hurt him all that much, what with his rubber-like, trauma-resistant physique and incredible pain tolerance, which meant that he was likely faking his distress, that ass. "Don't call me that," he groused, pursing his lips once more with displeasure. "I'm a guy, not a girl!"

She shot him a dirty look in return and threw a clean pair of her old lycra undershorts at his head. Since she had no intention to share her scantier pieces with him – the mental image of Luffy (albeit in his female form) in one of her pair of thong panties was enough to make her want to scratch out her brain cells with an ice pick – he was just going to have settle for those. Shuddering inwardly, Nami wasted no time pointing at him and quickly spoke. "Newsflash, baka! You are a girl right now; you don't even have those kintama you are so proud of anymore! So just listen to what I tell you and put on your damn clothes!"

The expression of the black-haired teenager visibly soured at the mention of his missing balls. He had better be getting them back real soon like Robin said or there would be hell to pay. "Being a girl sucks," he announced vehemently even as he reluctantly shoved his legs through the leg holes of the underpants and pulled them on. He scowled cutely at her and continued to mutter. "Girls suck. Wearing so many clothes is stupid. Why can't I just wear what I always wear?"

Nami was not amused to have to explain it to him – again. It seemed that his thick, rubbery skull had trouble retaining information; either that or he was just being deliberately stubborn and trying to drive her up the wall in the process.

"For the nth time today; you are a girl now, so you have to act like one! That means no dressing inappropriately and no flashing your boobs every which way for everyone to see!"

He was not impressed with her explanation. "So what?" he argued back pigheadedly, crossing his arms over his breasts, a mulish glint in his eyes. "You walk around the ship in nothing but your underwear sometimes! I have seen you do it, so why can't I?"

His accusations made Nami turn a dull red in anger. The Navigator had to dig her nails into the flesh of her palms to rein in her boiling temper, and she barely managed it in the end. "Dumbass! Those were swimsuits, not underwear! And if I say you can't then you can't, so don't argue with me!"

Well, technically, he could prance around the decks wearing whatever the hell he wanted, but Nami doubted that the rest of the crew was going to be thrilled by his decision do so. It was already awkward enough and the last thing they needed was Luffy being even more of a distraction than he already was.

Luffy sulked. "That's not fair!" He frowned as if he was thinking really hard, until he was almost red in the face from his dubious intellectual efforts. Then, he turned to her once more, but this time he grabbed at his full bouncy breasts with his two hands and lifted them up slightly. "It's because of these, isn't it?" he demanded irritably. "The guys are all treating me differently because of these and I don't like it. Stupid boobies," he mumbled with a ferocious glower at his enlarged mammary glands. "What the hell are these for, anyway? They are heavy and I can't stand straight and I keep losing my balance thanks to them."

He was pouting once again as he complained obnoxiously about his newly discovered lady problems, and she gaped at him even as he gave her an impatient, disgruntled look in return.

Nami didn't know whether to laugh or to groan. She settled for a small sigh instead, her earlier frustrations trickling away as the sight of her Captain's visibly dismayed expression. He was really upset about this, and here they had all thought that he had taken the gender switch reasonably well. At last, the orange-haired girl walked up to him and made him sit at the edge of the ofuro, then settled down beside him as well. In his feminine form, he was actually shorter than her, and without a word, she just leaned her shoulder companionably into his, nudging his side lightly to gain his attention.

He glanced askance at her with confused eyes but did not resist her random act of affection. At least she wasn't trying to hit him anymore, so this was all good in his books.

"Sheesh…! I don't need to give you The Talk, do I?" she sounded a bit exasperated, and then she narrowed her eyes at him. "And you can stop grabbing at your breasts now, Luffy. I get your point already."

He complied with her demand, his trained ear immediately picking up the traces of dangerous warning in her voice, and satisfied by his obedience, she obligingly grabbed a towel from the rack beside her and dropped it around his shoulders. "What talk?" he asked in returned, and she rolled her eyes, praying for patience.

"Listen, Luffy," she started to speak. "You know boys and girls are different, right? Well, we are the same species, but we are of different genders, right? So, a girl's body is different from a boy's-"

A look of dawning realization overtook his previously curious features as he recognized what she was trying to tell him.

"Eh, I already know that," he interrupted her impatiently before she could go too far into her explanations. "What does that have to do with this?"

Nami, who was quite visibly relieved that someone had already beaten her to this entire awkward conversation, just shot Luffy a look of disbelief. "God, Luffy, has no one told you about sex before?!" she blurted out at last, since it seemed that he was not going to get what she was hinting at unless she flat out said it.

He blinked.

"Yeah. You do it when you want to have babies, right?" he replied, not entirely sure what that had to do with anything.

She stared at him. He was already nineteen, for god's sake! How on earth was he still so innocent at his age? Hadn't he spent the last two years in the Island of Women or something?

"Yes…" she agreed with his reasoning slowly, watching him carefully for his reactions. "But most people do it for fun as well," she tried to supplement his understanding a bit further. Judging by the way his brow crinkled, she wasn't sure if she was helping or just confusing him further. "And most men like boobs, the bigger the better, in fact. It has something to do with an instinctual evolutionary viewpoint passed down by our primeval ancestors for the continuation of the species, but you probably don't understand what I mean, so we will just leave it at that, okay?"

Luffy frowned further. She could almost see the rusty cogs in his head turning slowly. He looked down at his full, perky bust.

"So, men like boobs," he repeated flatly, lifting his gaze to her for confirmation.

Nami could hardly believe that she was having this conversation with Luffy, but she nodded anyway. "Most do," she added. There were those who swung the other way, of course, but Nami really didn't want to complicate the matter any further by dragging that into the equation right now.

He looked back down at his chest again. She could only wonder what he was thinking. After a long while, he finally spoke.

"I don't get it," he said at last, at the same time reaching up to his recently grown breasts and poking it with a finger. They were squishy and bounced in a rather fascinating manner but other than that, wasn't really anything special, and he had gotten bored with them pretty fast. In fact, having two extraneous lumps sticking out of his chest was inconvenient as hell and they seemed to get in his way most of the time. How women could stand having them around all the time was a wonder to him. "Men want boobs?" This was definitely the first time he had heard of such a weird thing. "Well, I don't want them. They can have them; I don't think I can even use them for an attack."

Nami choked, struggling to keep a straight face at the mental image of Luffyko going Gear Third and pummeling unsuspecting foes with a pair of 'Gigant-ified' breasts. Well, at least those men would have died happy.

Also, she should have known that he had completely misunderstood her words.

"That's not what I meant," she said after recomposing herself from the barely controllable laughing fit she nearly had. "I didn't say that men wanted boobs themselves. Well, most men don't, anyway. I mean that men like seeing boobs on women, the bigger the better for some, I presume."

That set him to thinking really hard again, and she could almost smell the burning rubber from where she was sitting beside him. Taking pity on her clueless Senchou, Nami continued. "That's why those idiotic guys we call nakama are acting so funny around you. In simplified terms, they don't know what to do with you since you are a girl now and you have boobs, get it?"

The perplexed look on his face said that he didn't really get what she was trying to imply here, but he shrugged all the same. "But they already like me; we are nakama, right? Why do boobs matter in all this?"

That was a very good, profound question, one that Nami would have no doubt appreciated if the situation wasn't quite so absurd. The orange-haired young woman thought about her reply and started to turn red again, and belatedly, she wondered if it was possible to self-combust from suppressed laughter. "There are different kinds of like, Luffy," she managed at last. "This type of like you refer to is friendship, the bonds of nakama. The other type of like I'm talking about is physical attraction; it's a feeling of lovers." When he still looked slightly uncertain, she elaborated. "You know; like you said, people who want to have babies together."

The expression on his face was priceless when the dusty light bulb over his head finally blinked on. The dark-haired teen's mouth dropped wide open and for a moment he looked like he was in danger of falling backwards into the ofuro. His face screwed up into one of appalled revulsion, and Nami's shoulders started to shake with mirth.

"I CAN'T HAVE BABIES WITH MY NAKAMA," he screeched loudly in protest, looking so visibly disturbed by the notion that she could not help herself anymore and finally burst into unstoppable gales of laughter. Luffy had bellowed his denial so deafeningly that there was no doubt that the entire crew could hear it wherever they were on the Sunny, and just picturing the reaction of the men was enough make her laugh until she cried tears of mirth.

Most understandably, Luffy did not share her amusement. He was grimacing something fierce, and starting to look somewhat panicked as well. "NAMI. Don't just sit there and laugh, dammit! This is not funny, idiot! I don't want boobs anymore; I WANT MY KINTAMA BACK. WE NEED TO FIND IVA-CHAN NOW. NOW, NAMI!"

Somehow, the Senchou's hysteria just added to the hilarity of the situation, and by the time Nami could stop laughing, her sides were hurting from the stitches and a visibly peeved Luffy was looking at her with miffed outrage. Nami wiped the tears from her eyes and shook her head at him. "Don't worry, Captain. The guys have no interest in making babies with you, either. That's why they are avoiding you, see?"

He managed to calm down slightly at that, finally understanding what she had been trying to tell him the entire while. "Oh." Then pause. "But I still think we need to find Iva-chan, quick."

"Yes, yes, we are already working on that. Sunny's been travelling in grid formation since this afternoon in search of Ivankov-san's ship. Geez, haven't you realized that already?"

Another pause. Then, another slow "Oh."

Nami's rich burgundy eyes were bright with laughter. "Now, Luffy, while we are trying to meet back up with Ivankov-san and his crew, you should listen to what I say and wear the clothes I give you, alright? We don't want our nakama to get the wrong idea, yes?"

The way the Captain all but ran for the clothes that she had prepared for him on the rack nearly made her laugh again, and she watched him clumsily put on the gender neutral outfit. His usual denim shorts were too big to fit his now slender, girlish hips and therefore she had loaned him a pair of three quarters from her own wardrobe, together with a red cardigan so that he wouldn't have to feel too far out of his comfort zone despite the unfamiliar clothes. He put on the bottoms quickly and easily enough, but she interrupted before he could shrug off the towel and don the top.

"Luffy…ko," Nami spoke slowly then, her lips still twitching with amusement. "You forgot the bra." The orange-haired Navigator was holding the undergarment in her hands and she looked at him expectantly. "Come here, I will help you with it since you were having so much trouble earlier."

He was apparently reluctant, but she expected as much; he went around bare-chested so often that the notion of having to wear a couple of layers was most likely not sitting well with him. "It's not so bad, really," she insisted when he finally neared. He sulked slightly.

"Being a girl sucks," he repeated once more, shuffling to a stop before her.

"I can't deny that sometimes it is certainly inconvenient," Nami agreed as she absently gestured for him to drop the towel. The boy-turned-girl obliged. "Just be thankful that you likely won't get to experience all the pains of being a girl. But, it's good to be a girl too, you know."

Luffy frowned slightly. "How so?" he grumbled in disbelief, and still sitting on the edge of the ofuro, Nami tilted her head up to study his feminized features. His large eyes stared back at her disgruntledly, but even pouting and petulant, he was still undeniably cute and attention catching. Not for the first time, Nami thought that her Captain made for a really, really pretty girl. "And these stupid boobs are annoying. I don't think I like boobs."

Her gaze fell down to the part of his anatomy that had swelled as a result of his gender change, and she cursorily studied them with the objective eye of a fellow female. Like she had noticed earlier, his bust was full and perky, and most likely due to the elastic nature of his Devil fruit, his breasts looked firm and perfectly shaped as well. Not for the first time, it irritated her to no end that he had prettier breasts that she did.

"Well, I think they look good on you," she told him frankly, and watched with amusement as he made an unhappy grimace at her remark. He most definitely had no wish to be complimented on the pair of useless things that he did not want in the first place. The entire scenario was actually quite hilarious, and a wicked idea came to her then, one so random and ludicrous that she momentarily balked at it, before the overwhelming combination of her creeping curiosity as well as the potential payoff of such an act outweighed the weirdness of it, and she decided to just go along with the flow.

Besides, what kind of man did not like breasts? She would be doing him a favor by ensuring that this incident with the gender switch did not traumatize him when it came to the mammary front (pun intended).

Glancing up at him once more, she gave him a small smirk and a simple quip.

"Shall I change your mind for you, then?"

::tsuzuku::

Questions That I Would Like To Answer Before You Ask:

Uhm. I have no idea where this came from – okay, no, actually I have a very good idea where this came from. I was inspired by all the cute gender bender LuNa fanarts that I have come across online, and somehow this just wrote itself out. It's a bit crack-ish as you can see, and hopefully some of you have gotten a bit of laughs out of reading this.

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Er, I'm also not sure if it's physically possible to fart out the Japanese Phonetic Alphabet, but I'm pretty certain that Luffy will find a way.

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I really adore Iva-chan and his sidekick Inazuma. They are some of my favorite okama in One Piece, second only to Bon-chan. Kudos to Oda-sensei for creating such diverse, eccentric, and yet utterly lovable characters. I borrowed Iva-chan and Inazuma as a plot device here, and even though I'm not sure if Iva-chan's Emporio Onna Hormone can cause permanent gender change in individuals injected with it, I'm more likely to believe that the effects are not lasting. In real life, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) has to be administered constantly to transgender individuals in order to maintain their desired physical appearance, and I'm quite certain that Iva-chan's hormone injections work the same way as well – this might also explain why the inhabitants of New Kama Land are always switching their genders about all the time.

So, long story short, Luffy's girl form will not be permanent, not in this fic, at least.

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We all know that canon!Luffy is not exactly the most hygienically-inclined individual in the crew; in fact he is known to do some rather questionable things sometimes and it is the same in this fic. Even though he has suddenly become female, he still possesses the mindset and demeanor of a male. Essentially, he is literally a man in a woman's body, which makes the antics of Luffyko all the more hilarious.

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For those who haven't gotten it by now, 'kintama' is Japanese slang for testicles.

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Last but not least, this is a two-shot fic, so there will be another chapter to finish this whole thing off.

That's all for now. Thanks for reading, and until next time!

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Your reviews fuel my passion for writing. So please leave a comment if you like this fic!

-paws