Black Beauty

My Last Day

A/N: This is a story I wrote several years ago, a kind of "final chapter" of the novel Black Beauty. It's kind of sad, but then again so is the book, so it's only fitting, I guess. Hope you like it.

I have often wondered what people and horses mean when they say "rest in peace." Through all my experiences, I have never known a death to be peaceful. Each and every death I have witnessed or known of seems to have been merely a follow-up of anguish, pain, and misery. I think of my dear friend Ginger, her life and health in ruins before coming to a painful end. And then of my friend Captain, injured in an accident and never recovered. And the countless other horses I've met in my lifetime who have been in despair their whole lives, how can their deaths be remotely peaceful?

But now I think I understand what they mean.

I am at peace…

…

"Beauty? Beauty, stay with me, now. There's a good horse, stay here with us, please."

I opened my eyes and looked around from my prone position. My dear friend Joe Green was crouched over me, his gentle hands rubbing my neck softly. His face looked troubled and his eyes were red, but his voice was just as steady and calm as ever.

"That's my boy, Beauty. Just hang on, now, the doctor will have you fixed up in no time."

As he said it, I remembered that I wasn't alone. Beside Joe was the horse doctor, whom I had seen numerous times over the last few years of my life. I couldn't see what he was doing, nor could I feel his hands, which bothered me a little, but Joe's soothing voice kept me calm.

I was in the middle of my pasture, laying comfortably in the shade of the apple trees. It was a sunny afternoon, and the occasional breeze that toyed with my mane and forelock was comforting and pleasant. Joe had come out early this morning and, when I did not immediately rise, he went to fetch the horse doctor. I do not know how long I'd been lying here; I had been drifting in and out of consciousness. Every time I started to fall asleep, I would see something, but I couldn't quite make out what it was. I was very curious to discover the meaning of this odd vision, but Joe continued to bring me back to reality if I kept my eyes closed for too long. It was a little irritating; I was comfortable here. Why would they not just let me sleep?

"Doctor?" Joe's voice said now, never wavering from its soothing tones. "How is he?"

I heard a rustling sound, which I assumed was the doctor straightening up. "There's nothing more I can do for him, Joe," he said, and there was such a grave sadness in his voice that I was a little alarmed.

"Nothing?" Joe repeated, and for the first time, his voice began to betray him. "Nothing at all?"

"Joe," said the doctor, and I saw him put a hand on my friend's shoulder, "Beauty has lived a good, long life. No horse lives forever, and this brave fellow has outlived many horses with far better pasts than his. You remember what he was like when Farmer Thoroughgood brought him here, don't you?"

"Of course, how could I ever forget?" Joe replied, and I could see the pain of the memory clearly in his eyes. "And that was after all the good that man did for him, too."

"Yes," agreed the doctor. "But Beauty has lived a brave, gallant life, and he's fought hard. And now it's time for him to stop fighting. It's time to let him go, my boy."

For the first time since we had parted after Squire Gordon sold me, I saw a tear slide down Joe's cheek. That alone frightened me more than any of their talk. Joe had always been a strong young man; he simply never cried.

Joe looked back up at the doctor and said, "May I have a moment with him? Alone? Please?"

"Of course, lad," the doctor replied gently, standing up and brushing loose grass from his trousers. "I'll be up at the house. I'd best tell the ladies about this."

Joe nodded but said nothing else until the doctor was well out of earshot. For a long time, he just continued to stroke my neck softly, and every few seconds, I would see a fresh tear form in the corners of his eyes.

"Oh Beauty…" he finally spoke. "Oh my Beauty. What a life you've had. I remember it so well, back at Squire Gordon's. I was a bumbling fool then who didn't know what I was doing. Remember that I nearly killed you that one night? I still haven't forgiven myself for that."

I did remember, and I wanted to tell him that I had forgiven him of that a long time ago. But making sounds required a great amount of effort, and all I got out was a faint nicker.

"And then you were sold," Joe continued. "And…and you went through hell, didn't you, my friend? I could see the scars all over you when you came here. The man who injured your knees…if I ever got a hold of him, I think I'd strangle him!"

If I could, I would have told him that the man responsible for that particularly painful experience was already dead. But it was far easier to just lie there and listen to my friend speak.

"I'm sorry, Beauty," Joe said after a few moments. "I wish I had found you sooner. Or Farmer Throroughgood, or…someone. Someone who wouldn't have hurt you like this. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for you in your years of trial. If I could have, I'd have saved you from your tormentors. I wish I could have, Beauty. I wish I could have…"

His voice began to shake, and I realized that he was crying in earnest now.

"But I did find you eventually, didn't I? Or you found me, more like it. And we've had a good number of years together, you and I, haven't we? Yes…yes we have…"

He was silent for a few moments. I thought he must be too emotional to speak. And then he said, "I love you, Black Beauty. I always have, and I always will. I love you with everything I have, my dear friend, and nothing will ever change that."

I mustered up some strength and reached my head around so that I could nuzzle him. Joe, his face pink and tearstained, smiled weakly as I nipped his hair playfully, and he rubbed the little white star on my forehead. "No matter what happens," he whispered, "no matter where you or I go, I'll always be with you, my friend. Always. I love you…"

Unable to maintain my position any longer, I allowed my head to return to the ground. I took a deep breath and relaxed, feeling unafraid, unworried, and unconcerned with anything in the future. All I wanted now was to sleep, to dream of the orchards again, of my friends…

I heard the sound of footsteps coming toward the pasture, and I felt Joe shift to see who was coming. I heard a female voice say something, but her voice was so indistinct that I couldn't catch what she said. In fact, I wasn't even sure of which of my ladies it was. I was feeling very drowsy, and I closed my eyes…

And before me, a bright light shone down like a beacon from the sky, illuminating the pasture around me. I blinked, a little startled, and saw the vague outline of another horse silhouetted against the blinding light. It took a few steps in my direction, purposeful strides that made no sound at all on the grassy earth. And there was another horse behind it, and another behind that one, and another behind that. I was confused and startled, but oddly unafraid.

And then the horse in front spoke, and my heart gave a bound. "Hello, Beauty. It's so good to see you again."

I knew that voice, even though I hadn't heard it in years. The last time I'd heard it, it had been laced with endless suffering and anguish. But there wasn't a hint of pain in her voice anymore.

"Ginger?" I asked.

My good friend stepped forward, and I could see her now, her beautiful chestnut coat spotless and shining in the light. She looked down at me fondly, and I could see the infinite joy dancing in her eyes. "Yes, Beauty. It's me," she said. "I have missed you."

"I have missed you as well, Ginger," I said, lifting my head to speak to her. As I did, I caught a good look at the other horses with her, and I felt my heart leap as I recognized them all: the little grey pony Merrylegs, old Captain the war horse, and, with a look of joy so complete in her eyes it was almost unbearable to look at, my mother.

All four horses looked down at me, and in that one moment, I felt like all the years of suffering and neglect had never happened; that they'd been only a horrible dream and that I was safe at home with my friends. A joy like nothing I'd ever felt before swelled within me, and I found the strength to throw my legs forward and climb to my feet, barely registering the fact that my aching joints weren't hurting anymore. "Oh my friends," I said, looking around at them all. "It's been so long since I've seen you all. And Mother! My dear mother, how have you been?"

"I lived a good life, my son," she said to me in her gentle voice. "And I have been watching over you for many years now. I have seen your sufferings and I've heard the crack of many a whip upon your back, and I cried a tear for every moment of your agony. But now, son, you need not fear. You are safe at last. No one can hurt you anymore."

I nuzzled her before turning my attention to Merrylegs. "And you, my friend?" I asked. "How did life fare for you?"

"Very well indeed," the fat pony replied, tossing his head like he used to do so often. "I was treated very well, and I was put to death before I began to suffer. I got lucky; I too saw how badly you and Ginger were treated, and I am so very sorry, my friend."

"That's quite all right," I replied. "What's done is done." And now I turned to Captain and said, "My old friend, I am so sorry for what happened to you. It wasn't fair for your life to end so horribly."

"Yes, the accident did hurt quite a lot," Captain conceded, nodding his head. "But Jack, my death was quick and painless. Jerry made sure of it, and I will be forever grateful to him for not allowing me to suffer any more than I had to. He is a truly good master."

I nodded in agreement. And then, at last, I turned back to Ginger. She was gazing at me, her eyes alight with mirth. "Oh my sweet Ginger," I said, "it is so good to see you again after all these years. And after such a terrible farewell! I am glad to see you happy once more, my friend."

"Thank you, Beauty," she replied, nuzzling me. "I have waited so long to see you again. And now, finally, we will never have to say good-bye again!"

I looked around at them all, allowing the joy I felt at seeing these familiar faces again fill me. Then I asked the most obvious question of all: "But my friends, what are you doing here?"

"We are here to guide you on," said Merrylegs, tossing his head importantly.

"On?" I repeated, a little confused.

"On to the next world," Captain elaborated. "A land with no pain, no strife, and no misery. A place where we can graze all day and eat fresh, delicious apples to our hearts' content, where we can roll all we want and never worry about pulling a cab through busy streets."

"And a place where men are kind and compassionate, not cruel and vicious," Ginger added. "It is pure paradise, Beauty."

"And it's all waiting for you," my mother concluded, turning a little so that she was facing the beam of light they had emerged from.

"Waiting for…?" I stopped, realizing what they must have meant. I turned to look around and, sure enough, I found myself gazing upon my body, laying in a restful position, my eyes closed and my sides still. "I'm…dead?"

As if to confirm it, I saw Joe lean over me and frantically put his ear to my side to hear a heart that was no longer beating. I could see the look of panic on his face when he realized what the silence meant, and I felt my heart break when he slumped over my body, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed.

I glanced back at my friends, who all watched Joe cry with somber expressions. Then I stepped forward so that I was standing over him. He obviously couldn't see me. Me, the light, my friends, we were all invisible to him. But I leaned in close and nuzzled his head. He jerked upright and looked around, searching for whatever had touched him but seeing nothing. Then he faced forward again, and he was looking straight at me. I nickered a final farewell to him. Whether he heard me or not, I do not know, but he continued to gaze in my direction for a moment before he whispered, "Good-bye, my dear friend. I will never forget you." And then he bent over my corpse and allowed his grief to flow.

I turned back to the others. "It can't be helped," Ginger said gently.

"Don't worry, my son," said my mother comfortingly. "It will take time, but he will come to terms with it all. He knows you're going to a better place, and he will always love you."

I looked into her wise eyes for a moment before nodding once. "All right," I said, looking around at them all. "Let's go."

And with that, my friends led me into the beam of light, and I left this world of pain for the land of peace and joy that lies beyond.