Our Truth
Summary: Someday, Regina might be able to tell Snow what she's realized. Until then, she can only imagine how the conversation might go.
She's been turning it over in her mind. She doesn't want to face it – as she doesn't want to face so many things – but she supposes near death has a way of providing clarity, of bringing realizations, of forcing buried truths to the surface.
And it is the truth. She knows that now. It is.
Bu she has no idea how Snow would take it.
She can imagine telling her, can see her face, that infuriatingly earnest face, the look of surprise, after she says the words, but she doesn't know what comes next. She doesn't know if Snow smiles, or cries, or scoffs, or just shakes her head and walks away …
She can clearly picture the beginning of the conversation, however.
Usually, in her mind, it takes place on the ship. She's standing on deck, gazing out into the endless blue intently, as though she can make Henry materialize through sheer force of will, when Snow approaches her.
Regina glances over at here, but doesn't say anything. She doesn't sneer or make a snarky remark. She just looks at her, and then back out at the ocean.
Snow takes her silence as permission to stay.
"We'll find him," Snow says, with quiet conviction. "Family always finds each other."
"And is that really what I am to you, Snow? Family?" She modulates her tone carefully, trying to betray no emotion, but she's not entirely sure she succeeds.
"Yes," Snow says, without hesitation.
Regina laughs, because yes, nearly dying does bring a little self-awareness, and now she understands enough to know that in context, in their history, Snow's statement is absolutely insane.
"You know child, maybe there is such a thing as being too good."
"You haven't called me 'child' since I was little," Snow says softly, so softly. Regina waits a beat, and then, as expected:
"And there's not such a thing as being too good."
That's when Regina begins. "Do you know why it was so easy for me to love Henry? Even with the gaping hole that casting the Dark Curse left in my heart?"
"I … well, Henry's an amazing young man, I mean, who wouldn't love –"
"For a long time, I didn't realize it … or at least I didn't want to admit it," Regina continues, as though Snow hadn't spoken. "But when I was strapped to that table, when I nearly died, I … I realized." She swallows, takes a deep breath.
"It was because Henry reminds me of you."
She doesn't look at Snow as she speaks. "Regina … I … but…"
"I know, you're thinking it would inspire the opposite reaction." Regina almost laughs again. "I mean, he even looks like you, but it's much more than that. The way he acts, the way he feels, the way he keeps …" she has to take moment, "The way he keeps believing in me against all reason and all evidence to the contrary…"
"Regina …"
"No please, I need to finish this. Henry … Henry was … is … the part of you I could let myself love. The part of you that isn't a living reminder of what happened to Daniel, the part of you I remember from when … when I save you from your runaway horse and you, you looked at me like … like I was a hero. No one had ever looked at me like that before, do you understand? And no one has since … except for him."
There's a long beat of silence before Regina can bring herself to face Snow. She sees her wide, earnest eyes, watches as her lips part, but no words form. Not yet.
"How do you feel about that?" Regina asks.
Snow takes a deep breath …
And then the scene in her minds ends. She cannot fathom what Snow's response would be.
But she will find out. Not today, and not tomorrow, or the next day, or the next.
Probably not for a very long time.
But someday, when she is ready, she will speak the words, the truth, her truth, their truth. And she will ask the question, and she will finally know what Snow's answer will be.