Final Fantasy 8 in a Nut Shell
by Sita Atis
This is something I quickly wrote while waiting for a download to finish.
It's a very condensed version of FF8. Warning: contains spoilers.
"I'll be here..."
"Why?"
"I'll be waiting.... here"
"Why?"
"I"ll be waiting for you....."
"are you even listening to me?"
"...so if you come here..."
"Hellooo?"
"You'll find me.. I promise."
"WHY!?!"
"Crap Rinoa, I'm just trying to sound romantic!"
Squall and Seifer fighting:
Seifer: what do you think of this scar I just gave you?
Squall: That's not a scar, THIS is a scar! *slashes Seifer*
Seifer: wow.. nice work. Hey, let's be scar buddies!
Squall: cool!
Zell: *pant pant* All your hotdogs are belong
to Zell!
CafeLady: We're all out of hotdogs.
Zell: grrrr all your hotdogs are belong to Zell dammit!
CafeLady: WE. ARE. ALL. OUT. OF. HOTDOGS!
Zell: But but... all your hotdogs are belong to Zell...
CafeLady:*sigh* I give up.
Quistis: You guys have to go to dollet with Zell, where you will fight random
soldiers and an ugly looking monster.
Squall: Good God, NOOOOO!!!
Quistis: They're not that hard to fight.
Squall: Not the monsters, I have to go with Zell, ARRRGH!!
Cid: Zell, Selphie, Squall..and.. whoever you are.
Nida: Nida... SIR!
Cid: Whatever... you're SeeDs. Now let's PARTY!
Seifer: waaaah I'm not a SeeD!
Rinoa: You're the best looking guy here... I see in the constellations that
you shall save my life three times and fall madly in love with me when I'm
in a coma.
Squall: So.. what are you saying?
Rinoa: Dance with me.
Squall: Do I really have a choice?
Rinoa: DANCE WITH ME! NOWWWW!
Squall: yikes.. you're scary.. I think I am falling for you.
General Caraway: You have to kill Edea the evil sorceress.
Irvine: I'm here to shoot her. *shoot*
Edea: You missed me, naaaah naaaah! HAHHAHA !
Squall: taste cold steel evil sorceress!
Edea: Here, have a stick of ice through your heart.
Squall: Ow. Now please insert disk 2.
Seifer: *prods Squall a bit*
Squall: please don't hurt me, I don't want to die waaaaahhh!
Seifer: That's okay, I'm going to go somewhere unknown now and leave you in
the hands of this weak soldier, feel free to escape while I'm gone.
Squall: Okay! *escapes*
Cid: Squall, missiles are heading towards Garden. I want you all to think happy
thoughts and make this Garden fly out of here!
Everyone: Okay!
Rinoa: raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...
Squall: wow, Garden is flying! Nice work Rinoa.
Rinoa: Let's head for the balcony, I want a gratuitous fmv scene of my lovely
self in the wind.
Squall: Again?
Rinoa: BALCONY, NOWWW!!
Squall: That's it. I'm marrying you.
Irvine: Hey everyone, how ya doin?
Selphie: booyooka!
Irvine: Oh by the way, we're all from the same orphanage years ago, and Edea
is our Matron.
Everyone: awww how nice. *has warm fuzzy feeling*
Squall: Rinoa? hellooo earth to Rinoa!
Dr Kawaski: Dude, she's in a coma!
Squall: Oh, well I'll take her for a walk.
*bumps into Edea*
Edea: my children.. I am myself again, I was just possessed by a sorceress
of the future named Ultimecia.
Squall: Really? Fascinating. Let's all go out into space.
Rinoa: huh? did you say space? I always wanted to go into space!
Squall: Hey.. I thought you were in a coma..
Rinoa: Oops.. I mean.. zzzzzz
Laguna: Welcome to Esthar, I'm President Laguna, you may have seen me from
"shy, dopey guy with leg cramps" or "shy dopey guy who accidently falls off cliff"
or "dopey shy guy with gorgeous sexy looks dopey shy la la la what was I on about?"
Squall: You're an idiot.. I think I'll kill you.
Laguna: No... Squall... I am... your father.
Squall: That's it, I WILL kill you!
Laguna: Wait... look, Squall card.. I have Squall card.. here.
Squall: HEY COOL! It's meeee, on a card! Okay, I forgive you father.
Selphie: time compression time compression... take us away.. to a far away place...
Ultimecia: I am Ulti...
Squall: RENZOKUKEN!!
Ultimecia: AHH I"m not finished yet!
Squall: Hurry up and die.
Ultimecia: I'm not going to die until I finish what I say.
Squall: yada yada
Ultimecia: Time... shall compress.... it shall not....
Squall: Just shut up. No one cares you know.
Ultimecia: Think of your emotions... your...
Squall: RENZOKUKEN!! BLASTING ZONE!! LIONHEART!! HADOKEN!!
Ryu: Hey that's my line!
Squall: Oh.. sorry I got carried away.
Squall: Hey.. now I'm lost in time compression. Rinoa? Irvine? Selpie? Quistis?
Zell? *sees feather* Noooo!! *passes out*
"So darling there you are.... passed out on the floor... "
Rinoa: *slaps Squall* Good God, pull yourself together Squall! Hello, wakey wakey!
"If frown is shown then, I will know that you are no dreamer...."
Squall: Zzzzzzz Mom not now... I'm.. sleeping.. zzzzzzz *drools*
Cid: Seifer, you have been found guilty on the accounts of kidnap, threatening
innocent lives, supporting the sorceress.. and.. eating the last of the hotdogs.
You are therefore sentenced to one year of fishing.
Seifer: Nooooo!
The End.
by Sita Atis
This is something I quickly wrote while waiting for a download to finish.
It's a very condensed version of FF8. Warning: contains spoilers.
"I'll be here..."
"Why?"
"I'll be waiting.... here"
"Why?"
"I"ll be waiting for you....."
"are you even listening to me?"
"...so if you come here..."
"Hellooo?"
"You'll find me.. I promise."
"WHY!?!"
"Crap Rinoa, I'm just trying to sound romantic!"
Squall and Seifer fighting:
Seifer: what do you think of this scar I just gave you?
Squall: That's not a scar, THIS is a scar! *slashes Seifer*
Seifer: wow.. nice work. Hey, let's be scar buddies!
Squall: cool!
Zell: *pant pant* All your hotdogs are belong
to Zell!
CafeLady: We're all out of hotdogs.
Zell: grrrr all your hotdogs are belong to Zell dammit!
CafeLady: WE. ARE. ALL. OUT. OF. HOTDOGS!
Zell: But but... all your hotdogs are belong to Zell...
CafeLady:*sigh* I give up.
Quistis: You guys have to go to dollet with Zell, where you will fight random
soldiers and an ugly looking monster.
Squall: Good God, NOOOOO!!!
Quistis: They're not that hard to fight.
Squall: Not the monsters, I have to go with Zell, ARRRGH!!
Cid: Zell, Selphie, Squall..and.. whoever you are.
Nida: Nida... SIR!
Cid: Whatever... you're SeeDs. Now let's PARTY!
Seifer: waaaah I'm not a SeeD!
Rinoa: You're the best looking guy here... I see in the constellations that
you shall save my life three times and fall madly in love with me when I'm
in a coma.
Squall: So.. what are you saying?
Rinoa: Dance with me.
Squall: Do I really have a choice?
Rinoa: DANCE WITH ME! NOWWWW!
Squall: yikes.. you're scary.. I think I am falling for you.
General Caraway: You have to kill Edea the evil sorceress.
Irvine: I'm here to shoot her. *shoot*
Edea: You missed me, naaaah naaaah! HAHHAHA !
Squall: taste cold steel evil sorceress!
Edea: Here, have a stick of ice through your heart.
Squall: Ow. Now please insert disk 2.
Seifer: *prods Squall a bit*
Squall: please don't hurt me, I don't want to die waaaaahhh!
Seifer: That's okay, I'm going to go somewhere unknown now and leave you in
the hands of this weak soldier, feel free to escape while I'm gone.
Squall: Okay! *escapes*
Cid: Squall, missiles are heading towards Garden. I want you all to think happy
thoughts and make this Garden fly out of here!
Everyone: Okay!
Rinoa: raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...
Squall: wow, Garden is flying! Nice work Rinoa.
Rinoa: Let's head for the balcony, I want a gratuitous fmv scene of my lovely
self in the wind.
Squall: Again?
Rinoa: BALCONY, NOWWW!!
Squall: That's it. I'm marrying you.
Irvine: Hey everyone, how ya doin?
Selphie: booyooka!
Irvine: Oh by the way, we're all from the same orphanage years ago, and Edea
is our Matron.
Everyone: awww how nice. *has warm fuzzy feeling*
Squall: Rinoa? hellooo earth to Rinoa!
Dr Kawaski: Dude, she's in a coma!
Squall: Oh, well I'll take her for a walk.
*bumps into Edea*
Edea: my children.. I am myself again, I was just possessed by a sorceress
of the future named Ultimecia.
Squall: Really? Fascinating. Let's all go out into space.
Rinoa: huh? did you say space? I always wanted to go into space!
Squall: Hey.. I thought you were in a coma..
Rinoa: Oops.. I mean.. zzzzzz
Laguna: Welcome to Esthar, I'm President Laguna, you may have seen me from
"shy, dopey guy with leg cramps" or "shy dopey guy who accidently falls off cliff"
or "dopey shy guy with gorgeous sexy looks dopey shy la la la what was I on about?"
Squall: You're an idiot.. I think I'll kill you.
Laguna: No... Squall... I am... your father.
Squall: That's it, I WILL kill you!
Laguna: Wait... look, Squall card.. I have Squall card.. here.
Squall: HEY COOL! It's meeee, on a card! Okay, I forgive you father.
Selphie: time compression time compression... take us away.. to a far away place...
Ultimecia: I am Ulti...
Squall: RENZOKUKEN!!
Ultimecia: AHH I"m not finished yet!
Squall: Hurry up and die.
Ultimecia: I'm not going to die until I finish what I say.
Squall: yada yada
Ultimecia: Time... shall compress.... it shall not....
Squall: Just shut up. No one cares you know.
Ultimecia: Think of your emotions... your...
Squall: RENZOKUKEN!! BLASTING ZONE!! LIONHEART!! HADOKEN!!
Ryu: Hey that's my line!
Squall: Oh.. sorry I got carried away.
Squall: Hey.. now I'm lost in time compression. Rinoa? Irvine? Selpie? Quistis?
Zell? *sees feather* Noooo!! *passes out*
"So darling there you are.... passed out on the floor... "
Rinoa: *slaps Squall* Good God, pull yourself together Squall! Hello, wakey wakey!
"If frown is shown then, I will know that you are no dreamer...."
Squall: Zzzzzzz Mom not now... I'm.. sleeping.. zzzzzzz *drools*
Cid: Seifer, you have been found guilty on the accounts of kidnap, threatening
innocent lives, supporting the sorceress.. and.. eating the last of the hotdogs.
You are therefore sentenced to one year of fishing.
Seifer: Nooooo!
The End.