Holy Tears - by MadMidgetTwins
We've been reading some amazing fictions on here for a while so we'd thought we'd attept at one. Our first fiction, so comments are loved!!
Chapter 1.
Rating: K +
Summary: With only 2 months left of Dean's time, Sam is getting desperate to find a way of getting Dean out of it, in the meantime sending as many demons back to hell as they can.
Disclaimer: We do not own supernatural or the characters Sam and Dean...unfortunately...or Bobby at that matter
It was an all too familiar scene. The devil's trap drawn perfectly on the ceiling, the possessed person tightly bound to the chair directly underneath. Sam and Dean, accompanied by Bobby, were getting to the final stages of the exorcism now. Dean was doing his usual 'I'm going to send all you sons of bitches to hell' routine, while Sam stood prepared to begin saying the usual incantation.
"Hit it Sammy," said Dean, glaring at the demon in front of him. Sam smirked and began the ritual. The demon began thrashing around in the chair, and yelling in pain.
"You're going to….pay for this…you know," said the demon coldly, glaring at Dean. "When you're time comes, and you arrive in hell, you'll get what you deserve." Sam raised his voice, in an attempt to drown out what the demon was saying, while Dean simply ignored its crude remarks.
There would have been a time when Sam would have felt uncomfortable seeing a person suffer like this…but now, well he didn't really care. Part of him had changed since knowing that his brother was going to die. There was also the looming presence of Sam's destiny on both of the brothers. Perhaps knowing that there was demon blood in him made Sam think that his destiny was in fact inevitable, or maybe it was the fact that when his brother was gone there would be no one left to save him. Ever since that day Sam had become a little obsessed with trying to exorcise as many demons as he could find. Dean hadn't noticed, but somehow doing these exorcisms made Sam feel better….it gave him a sense of power over his life. If he was supposed to be their leader then sending them all back to hell would clearly tell them that he was never going to let his brother down. Not again.
Dean was still yelling at the demon. That seemed to be his way of hiding the truth about how scared he really was. Whereas for Sam, well, he wasn't as good as hiding it as Dean. So far two people had died during an exorcism and Sam hadn't felt anything. That must mean something right? They were meant to save as many as they could.
Sam tried to concentrate on the exorcism but then he had this feeling. It wasn't emotion, it wasn't a 'sensation', and it certainly wasn't a vision. It was something else, some sort of pain. He shook his hand in an attempt to rid himself of this feeling, and continued the exorcism. I'm just thinking too hard. Six exorcisms in one week, that's a heck of a lot.
Dean continued to pace the room, walking around the demon, watching as the exorcism drew to its end. Then Sam felt it again. It was as if his insides were on fire, like something was trying to claw its way out of him. He paused for a moment and rubbed his eyes.
"Sam?" said Dean, looking at him. "What's the matter? Keep going." Sam just nodded and continued. The pain came back as soon as he opened his mouth. The demon in front of him was yelling, it was almost over. But the pain was too much. It wasn't a physical pain, it was more like a part of him was dying. He felt his fingers slip through the pages as the heavy book fell to the floor. He let out a gasp of pain and lent against the wall. "Sammy?" whispered Dean as he rushed over to Sam and grabbed his shoulder. "What is it? What's wrong?" Sam couldn't seem to find the power to say anything.
"You can't fight your destiny Sam," said the demon through gasps of air and pain. "You're meant to be our leader; you know you can't win a losing battle." Sam couldn't stand being in that room any longer so he just walked out of the room without saying a word.
"Sammy!?" yelled dean from back in the room. Dean turned to Bobby. "You finish this, and I'll see what's going on." Bobby nodded and Dean walked outside.
Sam was rubbing his eyes, taking deep, slow breathes. What was happening?
"Hey man are you ok?" said Dean, walking in front of Sam. Sam lowered his hand and looked at his brother.
"Yea," said Sam. "Yea…I'm fine. I guess I'm just tired." Dean stared at him. He knew his little brother wasn't telling him everything.
"No Sam you're not fine," said Dean. "What the hell was that about?"
"I said I'm fine," said Sam abruptly and he rushed back inside.
"Sam!" yelled Dean after him.
"You alright Sam?" asked Bobby as the brothers came back inside.
"Yea I'm fine," he said quickly. "Did you finish it?"
Bobby paused before he answered.
"He didn't make it," said Bobby. Immediately Dean looked at Sam, as though he was expecting some sort of reaction.
"These things happen," said Sam and he turned to face Dean. "Lets get a drink." Dean seemed a little taken aback by this comment, but agreed just the same.
"Dean would you mind giving me a hand with the body first?" asked Bobby. "Don't worry Sam why don't you just head down to the pub and Dean and I will take care of this?" suggested Bobby. Dean stared at him and Bobby hinted towards his offer.
"Umm, yea sure," said Dean. "Sam, I'll be there soon ok?" Sam looked at them both.
"Ok, don't take too long," said Sam, and he walked towards the car. Once it was clear Sam had left Dean turned to Bobby,
"Ok so what is going on Bobby, you know I don't like leaving Sam alone?" asked Dean.
"I need to talk to you," said Bobby, "about Sam."
"What about him?" said Dean awkwardly.
"Well, haven't you noticed, he's been acting a little, I don't know…different?" asked Bobby. Dean paused.
"Different?" he repeated. "What do you mean by that exactly?"
"Well you saw him today," said Bobby. "Something was wrong."
"You think I didn't notice?" said Dean. "He said he was just tired but I know there was more too it than that. But there's a war going on. It could be any number of things."
"I know that Dean," said Bobby, "but it wasn't just today. You know Sam, better than I do, and even I have noticed that he's been, well, less like himself. The exorcism today…it 'affected' him in some way, and I don't know why.""
"Well he has no reason to lie to me," said Dean. "He'd let me know if there was something wrong, I'm his brother and this is Sam we are talking about."
"I know, I just – " began Bobby, then he stopped. He had lost this argument, there was no point in continuing it. No one could persuade Dean that his brother was changing. "Let's just get rid of the body ok?"
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As Dean pulled up in the car-park of the local pub, he thought back over what Bobby had said. He was frustrated with him, and glad he had decided to stay home and not come out. 'He's been acting a little…different'. Of course he's different, he died for God's sake. He's been up hours every night trying to figure out some way of getting his stupid brother out of the deal. There was only 2 months left to find a way. Dean had practically given up, but he could tell Sam was getting desperate. Dean tried to convince himself that Sam was just tired, there was nothing wrong…nothing to worry about. It wasn't happening…not yet.
Dean stepped out of the Impala and walked into the pub. The first thing he heard was Sam's voice.
"Hey Dean!!! DEAN!!" Sam was waving his arms at Dean, a beer in one hand. Sam turned to the bar tender. "That's him. That's my big brother." Dean walked over to Sam awkwardly. Damn it Sammy, what are you doing?
"Hey Sammy," said Dean. He looked at the array of empty bottles and glasses in front of Sam, and then glared at the bar-tender.
"See? What'd I tell you?" said Sam, patting Dean on the shoulder. "Isn't he great! This…is the best guy…you'll ever meet."
"Uh-huh," said the bar-tender, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.
"No he is," said Sam. "I'm lucky to have a brother like him. He'll do anything for me. Why don't you give us a couple more beers hey?"
"Uh no Sam I think you've had enough," said Dean. He grabbed Sam's arm and lifted him from the chair. He couldn't believe this, why would Sam get drunk like this? There was a war going on, surely he didn't feel responsible for that guy dying back at Bobby's? Sam, you can't save everyone… not even me.
"What? No you just got here man," said Sam.
"Yea, but we should be getting back," said Dean, and he started ushering Sam towards the door. Sam staggered out of the bar, Dean supporting most of his weight. Then Sam knocked a chair over.
"Oops," said Sam, half laughing. "My mistake! Must have done it with one of my psychic abilities, see Dean? I can move things with my mind!"
Dean looked around the bar awkwardly. "Yea Sam," he laughed half heartedly, trying to make it seem like some sort of joke. "Those powers of yours." People in the bar were staring at them so Dean tried to get them out as quickly as he could.
Dean finally got Sam to the Impala, and opened Sam's door.
"Come on Sammy, let's get you back to the motel hey?" said Dean trying to get Sam in the front seat. It was strange for Dean to see Sam like this. He had only seen Sam like this once before, but it was different then. This time he wasn't laughing. He went around to the driver's side and got in.
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It had been a silent drive for at least five minutes, in which Sam had spent the entire time just staring out the window.
"You ok Sam?" asked Dean. Ofcourse he's not ok. He's drunk. He just wanted Sam to admit that he wasn't alright.
"Yea I'm great, why wouldn't I be?" said Sam, his speech still slurred.
"Well, first today during the exorcism…and now…" began Dean, "what's gotten into you?" He felt bad doing it, but it was the only way he could get Sam to talk about what was going on inside him. People show their true feelings when they are drunk.
"Can you stop the car for a second?" said Sam, placing his hand around the door handle. Dean pulled over and Sam quickly opened the door and vomited on the side of the road. Dean just sighed and patted Sam on the back.
"I'm sorry man," said Sam. "I didn't get any on your car did I? Damn it, I just mess everything up."
"What are you talking about Sam?" said Dean. "Look, lets just get you back to the motel ok? Its only a few minutes away and you can sleep it off." Sam didn't say anything and just shut the car door.
It was only a couple of minutes drive back to the motel, and once they arrived Dean helped Sam inside and started to help him onto his bed.
"Dean can you promise me something?" said Sam abruptly.
"Oh god what?" said Dean.
"Just…promise me you wont die," said Sam quietly. Dean looked into Sam's pleading eyes. Why did he always have to do this?
"What?" said Dean, not really thinking.
"Please…I don't know what I'll do without you," said Sam. "Who is meant to take care of me if you die?" Dean didn't say anything. "I mean look at me? I just mess everything up. Even when I was dead I still managed to screw things up."
"Sam don't talk like that alright?" said Dean. "You don't mess everything up."
"Yes I do," said Sam. "People always die….and soon you will too, and its always because of me!" Tears began rolling down Sam's cheeks. "I just want you to promise me you wont die….please. Just say you wont leave me." Dean didn't know what to say. He'd made a promise to Sam before, and he thought that those two words were the hardest he'd ever have to say…but it was different this time. Somehow it seemed worse. Not just because he didn't know he could keep it, but because he didn't want to give his little brother false hope.
"I promise," said Dean. No matter all the reasons telling Dean he shouldn't be doing it…he said it anyway. He'd do anything for Sam.
Comments greatly appreciated!!!
Next chapter up soon...well thats the plan anyway