Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. It belongs to the great Don Bellisario. Please do not sue me.
I
'Shooter!'
Kate throws herself in front of Gibbs, catching a bullet meant for him. He and Gibbs
shoot at the bastard until he slumps, blood pooling around him.
He rushes to Kate's side, Gibbs right behind him.
Gibbs rolls Kate onto her back and unzips her jacket. Both men breathe a sigh of relief as they see the bullet caught in her vest.
'Protection detail's over, Kate.
Kate groans.
'How're you feeling Kate?'
Kate groans again.
'I just got shot at point blank range DiNozzo. How do you think I'm feeling?'
He grins.
'I don't think you'll be doing pilates tomorrow.'
She grins back at him as he and Gibbs help her up.
'You did good' he tells her, a note of affection in his voice.
'For once DiNozzo is right' Gibbs says.
Kate smirks.
'I thought I'd die before I ever—'
Bang.
Kate is on the ground again and her blood is all over his face, and in his mouth.
He can't breathe.
He can't breathe…
II
Suddenly he is awake. He had fallen asleep on his couch. Tony gets up and walks into his kitchen. He looks at his clock. 0300h. too early for this.
Tony looks at his calendar.
May 24.
God, he misses her.
III
These days she is his first thought in the morning and his last at night.
This past week his team mates have noticed a change in him.
He barely talks anymore.
He doesn't tease McGee.
He doesn't laugh with Abby.
He doesn't argue with Ziva.
He is just empty.
He misses Kate. So Much.
He'd missed his chance.
Having the plague had opened his eyes.
He'd loved her, and anyone of them could have died any day.
He'd waited too long.
IV
He wasn't always like this.
Most days he puts on his Happy Face.
When Gibbs asks him if he's OK he lies and says he is.
Sometimes he can even convince himself.
V
Tony goes to his cupboard and takes out a bottle of Jack Daniels and a shot glass.
He's not going to work today.
He's going to visit her grave.
VI
0800h. Tony unplugs his home phone and turns off his cell.
Then he gets into his car and starts to drive.
His eyes stare straight ahead.
He is too drunk to notice the dampness on his unshaven cheeks.
VII
At Kate's grave Tony feels all his breath leave his lungs for the second time that morning.
Tony traces his fingers over the letters of her name on the cool granite.
At the base of her head stone he places a single red rose.
'Goodbye Kate,' he murmurs. 'I will always love you.'
By the time that rose wilts he will be long gone.
VIII
Tony knows that Gibbs has been calling his phone non stop.
Tony also knows that Gibbs knows why he isn't at work.
Tony knows that Gibbs will find him soon.
Tony takes the fire escape up to the roof from a nearby alley way, it is the same way he went up one year ago.
Though it is almost summer it is unusually cool on the rooftop.
Tony walks to the spot in the middle of the roof.
Her blood is gone now, washed away.
But in his mind the blood is still there,
on the cold, unforgiving concrete and in his mouth.
Red, like the rose at the foot of her grave.
Tony's hand brushes the holster of his gun.
IX
Abby is seated at her desk.
She is meant to be processing evidence for their current case, but she isn't.
She's sitting at her desk with her face buried in her arms, her black pigtails fan out over the table.
Tony didn't turn up to work today.
And she knows why. Everybody knows why.
It's May 24.
Abby tries to remember the last words she said to Tony.
It scares her that she cannot remember.
X
Tony takes his gun in both hands and looks at it as if he had never seen it before.
His fingers caress it almost lovingly.
Tony knows every inch of this gun.
XI
McGee was told by Gibbs to keep calling Tony's cell.
That's what he's doing now, his phone held in the crook of his chin.
on the eleventh ring he puts down the phone.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
Tony and Kate were supposed to fall in love, just like in his stories, it was fate.
It was supposed to end happy.
McGee knows that in the real world, there are very few Happy Endings.
XII
Tony slides the magazine out of his gun and runs his finger over the bullets.
There is a soft clicking sound as his finger nail brushes over them.
Tony slides the magazine back into his gun.
XIII
Ducky sits at his desk in the morgue.
He knew that today would not be a good day for Tony.
Ducky looks around the low ceilinged room with its harsh surgical lights and steel draws.
Cold steel everything.
Ducky had put Kate in draw number 107.
Ducky doesn't use draw number 107 anymore,
It doesn't seem right.
XIV
Tony looks up at the sky.
It is unnaturally blue.
The wind whips cruelly at his clothes.
The tips of his fingers and his nose feel cold.
A single tear falls onto the barrel of Tony's gun.
XV
Ziva is sitting in the passenger seat of the NCIS sedan. Her head rests against the window.
Her chest is tight with worry for her partner.
They've already been to Tony's apartment.
His phone was unplugged.
He hadn't wanted them to come and find him.
The tightness is in her throat now too.
Ziva wishes she hadn't taken Tony for granted for so long.
XVI
Tony reaches into his pocket, in his hand is a gold necklace.
A cross. Kate's cross.
Ducky had given it to him after her autopsy.
Tony had carried it with him ever since.
Tony isn't really sure if he even believes in God.
He isn't really the religious kind of person.
But Kate had been.
XVII
Gibbs is driving even more recklessly than usual.
His eyes are on the road and his hands are on the steering wheel but he is only half concentrating.
He and Ziva are driving to the rooftop where Kate had been shot by Ari a year ago.
Gibbs hopes he is not too late.
Gibbs is so lost in his own thoughts that he doesn't notice the single tear that rolls down Ziva's cheek.
XVIII
Tony wraps Kate's necklace around his left hand, gripping the cross itself so tightly he can feel it has cut into his palm.
Tony slowly raises his Sig Sauer to his right temple.
The metal is cool against his skin.
Tony squeezes the trigger.
The bullet tears through Tony's brain, and he is dead before he hits the ground.
Tony's eyes stare blankly up at the sky, reflecting the heavens.
And his blood pools around him on the cold, unforgiving concrete,
red, like the rose at the foot of Kate's grave.
XIX
Tony's soul looks down upon its body with grim acceptance.
Then it turns and takes the hand of another soul, who has been waiting for him.
And together, they say goodbye to the world.
XX
And maybe its for the best,
After all, one cannot argue with fate.
fin