Edward slowly knelt on the green grass that he barely felt. He stared straight ahead like the Greek statue that she had always thought he had been. Her, a pang went through him at just the simple implication of his beloved. It was an eternally ago it seemed that they had been in this very meadow laughing about how it was impossible that death could possibly grasp her frail body with him as her savior. They were wrong.
Years and years ago that was. At least, he thought it was years and years ago. Time seemed to stand still for him now as days drifted by without meaning. What was the point in acknowledging them when there was no point in the pitiful existence that he lived? Why did he have to promise her that he would continue to live if anything happened to her? Why?
Ten years ago, he recalled. Ten years ago, her life ended along with his. Ten years ago, Jacob Black ended everything.
Edward tried to imagine her right now, or rather as she had been. Before Jacob had come and destroyed all happiness in the world. He could not see her.
Her image is blurred slightly in my minds eyes. Why can I not picture her anymore? Why can I not see the features of the one whose love had brought me both hope and a reason to live? Why can I not see her face smiling at me with both encouragement and joy at the silliness of my over protective thoughts? Why can I not see my Bella anymore?
How I wish to see her loving face again, to see her smile at me knowingly, as if she was the one that could read minds and not I. The answer of why I could not came easy enough. Though I practically forced myself not to answer the question, because of the pain I knew that it would cause me, to remember exactly why remembering her became impossible.
It was simple. Too simple.
Because I loved her, no love her. Yes, I think, no, hope that I still love her. Please let me still love her. That beautiful face. That smile that could melt my unbeating heart with a glance. That clumsiness that could almost be called grace. How I miss her. How I miss that laugh that sent shivers through my spine because of the love and joy that it brought. This I thought as I knelt before my darling Bella. This I thought as I knelt before her grave. This I thought as I remembered the one I love truly.