Sooooo, I don't own Twilight or Parental control, I just popped them in a blender and WHAM! A yummy Parental control/twilight milkshake! Yummy! Drink up!

BPOV

"You did WHAT?" I screamed, clutching Edward's hand extra hard.

"Signed you up for 'Parental Control." Charlie replied calmly. His eyes were wistful. "A wonderful, wonderful TV show."

I looked over at Edward who was pursing his lips so he wouldn't start laughing.

"I get to choose two guys for you to date," he continued, "And hopefully you'll pick one of them therefore dumping the scum you're dating now."

Edward began shaking with suppressed laughter.

"I am not going on this show." I yelled.

"Yes you are!" Charlie bellowed back.

"I'm not!"

"You are!"

"Bella, I think you should go on this show." Edward managed to choke out.

"What?" me and Charlie yelled simultaneously.

"Yeah. It will show Charlie here that you aren't gonna leave me just because you meet someone else. That our relationship is strong."

"What?" we both repeated.

"I just told you. Scroll up the fanfic a little."

*Bella and Charlie scroll up.*

"Whatever. Bella, fill out the profile thing on the bench . I start looking for my future son-in-law on Tuesday." And Charlie walked out of the room.

"Edward!" I cried, plopping down on a kitchen chair. "How could you do this to me?"

"Ok, I already explained. Do you need to scroll up again?"

"No." I grumbled.

"Now lets fill these out." he grabbed the piece of paper.

Name: Bella Swan

Age: 18 (Forever if I get my-.....No...Edward! Give me back the pen!...Thank you.)

Describe your perfect guy: Pale. 108 years old....

"Bella. No."

"Fine."

17 or 18 years old. Sparkles in th.....*Edward glares* Fast when he runs. Strong. Name is Edward Cull.....

"Why don't we move onto the next question...." he suggested hastily.

What don't you like about your boyfriend?: Nothing! He is perfect in every way. I don't want ANYONE ELSE! *Edward grabs pen, crosses out Bella's writing and writes his own answers.* I love my boyfriend but am willing to try to get along with anyone my Father suggests for me, with grace.

"No! Thats it!" I yelled, throwing the paper in the vague direction of Charlie. "Thats all you're getting, Dad! Happy auditioning!"

Tuesday- Day of auditioning

EPOV

"Bella, you know, this is really immature." I complained. "And its cramped. And you smell great."

She smiled. "Thank you Edw-...oh right. Not a compliment. Sorry."

"Don't mention it. But if you really want to mention something, could you mention why we're hiding in a closet?"

She sighed. "Because Charlie and Billy are going to walk in here any moment and start auditioning these losers so I want to know what to expect."

"Why is Billy here?"

"There had to be two parental figures. Billy was eager to ruin my love life as well." she shrugged.

"Makes sense." I agreed

Parental Control

Narrator: Meet Isabella Swan.

Bella: *scowls* Its Bella.

Narrator: Her father Charlie and his...friend....*looks sideways*, Billy....

Charlie and Billy: *wave eagerly at the camera*

Narrator: ….Hate Bella's boyfriend! So they're taking control!

*Parental Control theme song*

Bella: Hi, I'm Bella. I love my boyfriend Edward...Mmmm...Edward...*begins to drool*

Narrator: Bella? *prods Bella with stick*

Bella: Oh. Sorry. Right. So I love Edward but he has some flaws..*looks through script* flaws...flaws...Oh right. *speaks in monotone voice* He is a little bit over protective.

Example flashback:

Edward: Bella! Don't jump off that cliff!

Bella: Oh, Edward! You're so overly-protective! The sharp rocks at the bottom wouldn't hurt me! And Jacob gets to do it all the time! *pouts*

Edward: Well, Bella, If Jacob jumped off a cliff would you do it too?

Bella: Thats my point!

Example flashback ends.

Bella: More flaws...Oh, right! Plus, *giggles* He...oh god this is great...he sometimes gives me..the...*collapses in helpless laughter* THE COLD SHOULDER! HAHAHA!

Narrator: *clears throat* Right. So, Bella might like Edward, But Charlie and Billy don't.

Charlie: No. We don't. He's so irritatingly polite all the time and its patronizing! And he left Bella! *looks over to Billy for support.*

Billy: *Nods eagerly*

Charlie: Yes! He left her. She was so sad!

No-existent-live-audience: Awwwww!

Charlie: And I just don't want that to happen again.

Narrator: So Charlie and Billy are choosing two guys for Bella to date.

Charlie: Ok. Come on in, Boy number one!

Boy number one: Hi! I'm Jacob! I am kinda unstable but underneath-...

Charlie and Billy: You're Perfect!

Jacob: Shucks, but I'm really here to apply for dating Bella....

Charlie: Next!

Boy number two: Hi! I'm Mike! I resemble a lovable dog, enjoy fantasizing about pale girls and....

Billy: *mutters to Charlie* Mind if I keep this catch for myself? *licks lips*

Charlie: Next!

Boy number three: Hi, I'm Tyler. My hobbies include trying to run over police-officer's daughters with my van and...

Mumbling-male-voice-from-closet: No! No-one must run over my precious...ooff!

Charlie: Note to self: must tell Officer Bob to keep close eye on his daughter around this one...Next!

*Pale boy with abnormally large and fake looking moustache*

Billy: Hey! That door you entered from wasn't the door! Hmmmm...

Boy number four: *In incredibly fake German accent* Hayloo. Ma name is Ed...-mund. I vood like to date your daughter.

Charlie: Ok, Edmund. But I feel like I know you from somewhere....?

Billy: Yes. I feel that way too. My somewhat canine senses are tingling...

Jacob: Hooooowwwwwl!

Boy who looks slightly like Edward with a moustache: Uh...No, Idea what you say about...Did I mention that I can play the piano?

Muffled-female-voice-from-closet: Thats it Edward! Work it boy!

Charlie: *Whispers to Billy* Ok, I liked the others, but this guy is weird....

Edmund: *eyes do not fill with tears because vampires cannot cry, but if they could, eyes would be filling with tears*

Billy: Goodbye Edmund.

Edmund: *Runs back to closet*

Billy: Yes, I'm pretty sure thats a closet...

Charlie: Never you mind. Lets pick our boys....

*They both look over pictures of teenage boys with lustful eyes.*

Billy: I'm pocketing this picture. I'm sure I've got a heart shaped frame somewhere at home...

Charlie: I pick him. *points to picture which is cryptically covered for suspense*

Billy: But I wanted him!.....I mean I wanted to pick him...heh heh...

Charlie: Why don't you pick...Him!..Idiot....

Billy: Fine. *frowns at Charlie and pockets picture of Mike*

K, so give me some feedback people! How are my milkshake making skills? Any plot line ideas? Anything? More Edward ice-cream? More Bella flavored milk? Hmmm? Review! Or my blender might conveniently 'break down' haha!

REVIEW! xo