Edward and Bella- Your Guardian Angel
(Bella) When I see your
smile,
Tears roll down my face.
I can't replace.
He smiled his crooked smile at me. I stared at him with my eyes frozen wide.
"Breathe, Bella," he reminded me, smiling. I breathed.
"Bella?"
Edward whispered, his arms tight around me, shaking me gently. "Are
you all right, sweetheart?"
"Oh," I gasped again.
Just a dream. Not real. To my utter astonishment, tears overflowed
from my eyes without warning, gushing down my face.
"Bella!"
he said louder, alarmed now. "What's wrong?" He wiped the
tears from my hot cheeks with cold, frantic fingers, but others
followed.
"It was only a dream." I couldn't contain
the low sob that broke in my voice. The senseless tears were
disturbing, but I couldn't get control of the staggering grief that
gripped me. I wanted so badly for the dream to be real.
"It's
okay, love, you're fine. I'm here." He rocked me back and forth,
a little too fast to soothe. "Did you have another nightmare? It
wasn't real, it wasn't real."
"Not a nightmare."
I shook my head, scrubbing the back of my hand against my eyes. "It
was a good dream." My voice broke again.
"Then why are
you crying?" he asked, bewildered.
"Because I woke
up," I wailed, wrapping my arms around his neck in a choke hold
and sobbing into his throat. He laughed once at my logic, but the
sound was tense with concern.
(Bella) And now
that I'm strong, I have figured out,
How this world turns cold
and it breaks through my soul.
These
emotions were so much stronger than I was used to that it was hard to
stick to one train of thought despite the extra room in my head. Each
new sensation overwhelmed me. I remembered Edward saying once his
voice in my head a weak shadow compared to the crystal, musical
clarity I was hearing now that his kind, our kind, were easily
distracted. I could see why. I made a concerted effort to focus.
There was something I needed to say. The most important thing. Very
carefully, so carefully that the movement was actually discernible, I
brought my right arm out from behind my back and raised my hand to
touch his cheek. I refused to let myself be sidetracked by the pearly
color of my hand or by the smooth silk of his skin or by the charge
that zinged in my fingertips. I stared into his eyes and heard my own
voice for the first time.
"I love you," I said.
(Edward) And I know
I'll find deep inside me,
I can be the one.
After all, It really didn't matter if I left, because Bella could never see me the way I wished she would. Never see me as someone worthy of love. Never. Could a dead, frozen heart break? It felt like mine would.
"Edward," she mumbled softly. She was dreaming of me. Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? It felt like mine was about to.
(Edward) I will
never let you fall.
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be
there for you through it all.
"The
odds..." he muttered then, distracted. His voice was so low I
wasn't sure I heard it right. "The odds are always stacked
against us. Mistake after mistake. I'll never criticize
Romeo
again."
(Edward) Even if
saving you sends me to heaven.
"You could do so much better, Bella. I know that you believe I have a soul, but I'm not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours..." He shook his head slowly. "For me to allow this - to let you become what I am just so that I'll never have to lose you - is the most selfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything, for myself . But for you, I want so much more. Giving in - it feels criminal. It's the most selfish thing I'll ever do, even if I live forever."
(Edward) It's okay,
"It's
okay. We're going to be fine. It's -" He broke off, and winced
again.
"What's happening?" I cried out while Seth
howled in anguish.
"We're fine. We're going to be okay,"
Edward gasped.
(Edward) It's okay,
"I'm...
sorry," I blubbered. "I'm just... so happy... to see you!"
"It's okay, Bella. Everything's okay."
"Yes,"
I bawled. And, for once, it seemed that way.
(Edward) It's okay.
He
released my mouth, and wound his arm around my waist.
"It's
okay, Bella," he promised. "You're going to be safe."
(Edward) Seasons
are changing,
And waves are crashing,
And stars are falling
all for us.
"You're
impossible," he said, and he laughed once, a hard laugh,
frustrated. "How can I put
this so that you'll believe me?
You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love
you.
I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking
of you, seeing your
face in my mind, every second that I was
away. When I told you that I didn't want you, it
was the very
blackest kind of blasphemy."
(Edward) Days grow
longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one.
"Why won't you leave me alone?"Believe me, I wanted to say, I've tried. Oh, and also, I'm wretchedly in love with you.
(Edward) I will never
let you fall.
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for
you through it all.
"Yesterday,
when I would touch you, you were so... hesitant, so careful, and yet
still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late?
Because I've hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant
for you to? That would be... quite fair. I won't contest your
decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please, just tell me now
whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to
you. Can you?" he whispered.
"What kind of an idiotic
question is that?"
"Just answer it. Please."
I
stared at him darkly for a long moment. "The way I feel about
you will never change. Of
course I love you, and there's nothing
you can do about it!"
(Edward) Even if
saving you sends me to heaven.
"If
you really believed that you'd lost your soul, then when I found you
in Volterra, you
would have realized immediately what was
happening, instead of thinking we were both
dead together. But
you didn't, you said 'Amazing. Carlisle was right,'" I reminded
him,
triumphant. "There's hope in you, after all." For
once, Edward was speechless. "So let's both just be hopeful, all
right?" I suggested. "Not that it matters. If you stay, I
don't need heaven."
(Edward) Cause
you're my, you're my, my
My true love,
"You
love me," I marveled. The sense of conviction and tightness
washed through me again.
Though his eyes were still anxious, the
crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face.
"Truly,
I do."
(Bella) My whole
heart.
Please don't throw that away.
"I'm
worse than the Volturi," he said grimly. "I guess I've
earned that."
I rolled my eyes. "The worst the Volturi
can do is kill me." He waited with tense eyes. "You can
leave me," I explained. "The Volturi, Victoria... they're
nothing compared to that."
(Edward) Cause I'm
here... for you
Please don't walk away and,
(Bella) Please tell
me you'll stay!
(Edward) Use me as
you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be
okay,
Though my skies are turning gray
(Edward) I will
never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there
for you through it all
(Edward) I will never let you
fall
(Edward) Even if
saving you sends me to heaven
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you
through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
