A/N: There are not enough HakuKai fanfics around in my opinion. *coughs* Hakuba and Kaito are already in a relationship in this, but there is one thing Hakuba keeps wondering about...

„So", Hakuba drawled, sitting on the coach with Kaito in the dimly lit movie room of the Hakuba manor, watching some obscure martial arts movie the other boy had picked from a video library on his way home. The blond wasn't paying much attention to the television though, his thoughts wandering elsewhere. „When are you going to tell me that you are Kid?", he asked as casually as someone about to discuss the weather.

Kaito stared at him incredulously from the side. „How about never? Because I'm not Kid!"

Hakuba raised an eyebrow, moving around to face him. „Seriously? You are still not going to tell me, even though we are dating?"

„There is nothing to tell because, like I said, I'm. Not. Kid." Kaito crossed his arms.

They both remained silent for a couple of moments, glowering at each other.

Kaito was the first to break the silence, looking pointedly at the television now. „If... hypothetically I was Kid, what would you do, anyway?", he tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible.

Hakuba didn't have to think too long about it. „I would have my recording device ready and hand over your confession to the police. And then celebrate with Nakamori-keibu and the whole Taskforce", he admitted, sounding slightly ecstatic.

Kaito cringed, withdrawing. „Really?"

Hakuba chuckled softly, pulling the other boy closer. „No."

„Then...?"

„I would ask you to stop." They were so close, Hakuba's scent wafted over to him.

„And if...", Kaito contemplated it, „Kid said he couldn't stop though?"

„Very unlikely, that would require him to be able to resist my charms."

Kaito snorted, punching Hakuba lightly. „What the hell. You could only charm an elephant."

„Are you saying you are an elephant?"

Kaito thought about it and snickered, rolling away from him. „I must be one, to actually be daft enough to date you."

„Well...", Hakuba smiled. „If I charmed you, I technically charmed Kid."

„...who I'm not, so stop looking so damn proud."

„Yeah, right. Then, at least, I hypothetically charmed Kid. It's good enough."

Annoyingly, Hakuba seemed way too thrilled for someone who only hypothetically charmed someone. How did he end up with this stupid, bothersome detective again? But despite himself, Kaito couldn't help but smile back.

Hakuba leaned back, seemingly musing about something. „If he still didn't stop, then... I would try to watch his back. Of course not from the Taskforce, but... er, the other obscure people hanging around his heists." Kaito understood the implication. „And wait for him to stop on his own."

„Now you are just being corny." Still, Kaito's smile became slightly wider.

–

„I've to confess something", Hakuba let himself fall on the woolen armchair across from Kaito in the living room, only a few days later. Sun rays were wiggling through the window, leaving bright blotches on the floor.

Kaito, who had been comfortingly perched on the coach and slurping his chocolate drink, raised his eyebrow slightly, motioning for the other to go on.

„I am...", Hakuba took a deep breath. „...actually a thief."

Kaito choked on his drink.

„I've been hiding it from everyone because, you know, how my father is the Superintendent of the Metropolitan Police-", Hakuba started to explain with an expression of utter seriousness.

„Saguru, don't-"

„-and he would never accept my kleptomaniac tendencies-"

„-I swear to God-"

„-so I became a detective, because what better cover could there be than me being a person of justice in my civilian life-

„-I'm warning you-"

„So, really, there is no real reason to hide it from me anymore. We are colleagues", Hakuba cooed reassuringly, folding his hands together. „You can tell me that you are Kid, I'll keep it strictly confidential. You have my word as a fellow thief."

Kaito took a deep breath and snorted. „You are impossible." He took one of the pillows from the coach and thwacked them at Hakuba. „I can't believe you. And I'm not Kid!"

–

„There has to be some point where you have to give up", Hakuba commented with the air of a person who had something meaningful to say.

Kaito eyed the chess game they had been playing for the past half hour and paused. „You want us to quit the game?"

„Er, no, I meant...", Hakuba cleared his throat, refocusing on the game at hand. „I mean, you have to give up pretenses at some point."

„What pretenses?", Kaito asked innocently, pushing one of his pawns forward.

„You know, maybe the one of you not being a certain phantom thief dancing around under the moonlight, being a general pain in the ass?"

Hakuba's descriptions of his alter ego were always so flattering. Was the guy ever going to drop it though?

„What the hell, Saguru. It's not a pretense, it's the truth!"

„I mean, there has to be a point. How long does it take to reach it?", Hakuba asked woefully.

„How long does it take for you to make your damn move, dimwit?", Kaito retorted, motioning to the neglected game.

Hakuba finally moved his knight across the chess board, taking one of Kaito's pawns off the game. „If, for example, I proposed to you, would you tell me?", he randomly threw in.

„...", Kaito looked at Hakuba pityingly. „Er, no?"

„Seriously? Even if I proposed and we were happily married together for, say, five years?", Hakuba added in for good measure.

„What does that have to do with anything? I'm not even Kid to begin with!"

„For 10 years?"

„I don't care how many years!"

„20 years?"

Kaito's face was starting to get warm at the thought of possibly being together with the annoying detective for such a long period. (It was more likely that one of them killed the other before that though.)

„No!"

„Then I guess...", Hakuba sighed in defeat. „I have no choice but to ask you for the rest of my life. I'm sorry you're kind of stuck with me now since I don't like leaving mysteries unsolved." Despite the long-suffering sigh, the detective's mouth curled upwards at that.

Kaito's hand itched for a pillow. „Was that some kind of elaborate pick-up line?" Hakuba was seriously the corniest person in the universe.

A/N: I'm in pain from how corny this was. lmao Idk the idea of Hakuba and Kaito dating but Kaito still keeping Kid a secret is really amusing to me, so I had to write it. xD